Southern Cornbread Dressing With Apple and Cranberries

I had a request for the recipe for the dressing, so here it is. I buy one of the large aluminum foil roasting pans and make it and serve it in it (but we're casual folks). I make my cornbread the day before and store in frig wrapped in foil until I'm ready to mix.

15-20 servings

cornbread, 2 -8 inch pans (recipe to follow)
6 slices sandwich bread
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1 apple, peeled and diced
1 teaspoon poultry seasoning
1 teaspoon sage
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 large onion, diced
5 stalks celery, diced
1 egg, beaten
5 (12 ounce) cans chicken broth

1. Saute celery and onion in small amount of oil or butter until tender.
2. In a large roasting pan, crumble cornbread and sandwich bread.
3. Add diced apple and cranberries.
4. Add poultry seasoning, sage, and black pepper. Add onion and celery.
5. Mix (with hands is easiest), until well mixed. Pour five cans of chicken broth over and mix very lightly with large spoon until all is moistened. (Do not over-stir).
6. Taste and adjust seasonings if necessary to suit your tastes.
7. Add beaten egg and mix in lightly.
8. Bake in 400 degree oven for 45 minutes.
9. NOTE: I do not add additional salt as I use regular chicken broth, not low sodium. If you use low sodium chicken broth, you may need to add some salt.).

Southern Cornbread
Buy Martha White Hot Rise Cornmeal Mix and follow directions on back of bag. :-) DO NOT use ANY recipe that says to put sugar in cornbread. Yuck. That's just not Southern, ya'll.

Gobble Gobble Chomp Chomp

I got up early yesterday and cooked all day. At the end of the day, the leaf was in the table, clean sheets on all the beds, tablecloth on dining room table, and the refrigerator held two coconut pies, two pumpkin pies, a gingerbread trifle, a Williams Sonoma Double Chocolate Bundt Cake, and our Turkey and Ham waiting for preparation today. I was tired, but it was a good tired. My sweet husband helped me in the kitchen all day, fetching me cans of stuff, loading the dishwasher, and keeping the garbage emptied.
For dinner, he went out and got us spaghetti and meatball dinners. My youngest son arrived with his girlfriend and we ate dinner together. Then we all sat together and watched some tv and talked. It was a very nice time, and I'm glad we had some time to relax and talk with them.
Right now, everyone is asleep but me. I got up early to bake the turkey and have a nice quiet time with my doggies and Diet Coke. I'm sitting here wearing an apron and feel very much like Betty Crocker. ha.
I realize this morning how much I have to be thankful for, with my family all safe and sound and a new grandbaby on the way. Plus, everyone is coming home today for our Thankgiving (late, I know but Saturday Thanksgiving is better than none at all!)Even my mom is coming today. Looks like we'll have eleven at last count.
I can't wait to dig into that Turkey and Cornbread Dressing.

I've Been Tagged

I've been tagged. Seems I have to admit to being weird. Even have to list a few ways in which I am weird. Not a problem cause that is a long list! If I tag you, be sure to play the game.

According to the rules… each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”. People who get tagged need to write to their blog their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly:

“In the end you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment in their blogs that says ‘you are tagged’ in their comments section and tell them to read your blog for more information.”

Ok, six weird things about me....

1.) I can do algebra upside down. In the past, I owned a tutoring center and I sat across the table from my students. I used a dry erase board and wrote upside down so they could read it. My husband said to add that I do algebra for fun in front of the tv at night. He says thats very weird.

2.) I can't sleep in a quiet room. I have a sound machine and sleep to loud rain every night. I also have a teddy bear my husband gave me that I sometimes curl up with. Yes, that's true.

3.) When I was a child, I ate one thing at a time until it was gone, then went to the next thing. For example, all my potatoes, then all my meat, etc. Now, I am not quite that bad, but I still don't like my food to touch each other.

4.) I won't drink milk anywhere near the expiration date, but will eat million year old chocolate when I find it. ha.

5.) I can't stand my money wadded up. Dollar bills have to be flat in my wallet. My husband stuffs his change into his pockets. Drives me nuts when he pulls out wadded up bills.

6.) I hate wire hangers. I throw them away by handfuls when the dry cleaning comes home. No Wirrrrreeeee Hangerrrrrrrrs.

Ok, tagging six people is going to be hard, since Cathy tagged about everyone I know. Some of the people who read my blog don't have blogs, but can answer the tag in comments on mine. I tag Plumbtuckered, Bev, and the next four people who see this who haven't already answered. If you read my blog and have never commented,now is your chance to comment and let me know how weird you are. (If you read my blog, you've got to be a little weird...:-)

Now Where Did that Bird Go?

I hope all of you who read this have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. My family is having our Thanksgiving meal on Saturday, to accomodate schedules of the ones coming from out of town. I got an email this morning from my step-son-in-law asking what time today he should come. I immediately wrote back and said Nooooo, SATURDAY, not TODAY. Then I pushed send and I am praying all morning he got it in time to avoid a drive over. Yes, we could attempt to call, but their cellphone only works about half the time.
Tomorrow I will start cooking for Saturday. If all goes well, Honeybaked should be delivering my Cajun Turkey and Half Ham tomorrow, as we paid dearly for a Friday delivery. I found some new recipes for some old standbys so I can't wait to see how they go over.
We watched The Lake House last night from our Netflix. It's the one with Keanu Reeves and Sanda Bullock. It had a lot of twists and turns but it was a good movie. My husband even liked it and thought it wasn't so much of a love story as he had dreaded.
We went to see the eye doctor yesterday. He's very pleased with the outcome so far and considers the surgery a success. He says it can even get better in the next few months. So here's hoping he's right. I went prepared for him to say I needed another surgery, so left there much relieved. Then we met my daughter for lunch and some shopping. After that, she went and got her haircut and it was really cute. (She sent me a picture).
It has gotten so cold here. I know part of my problem is we went on that last cruise to Mexico and it was so hot. Then we returned to Alabama to find it had gotten cold while we were gone. I'm still in shock and my biggest habit to break is not grabbing my Birkies to run to the grocery store. I hate wearing shoes. I hate putting them on and I hate wearing them. Yes, drag out all the redneck jokes you can think of, because when it comes to shoes, I'd much rather be barefoot. I prefer to think of myself as not a barefoot redneck, but as a Boho hippie love goddess with bare feet. ha. Yeah right.
My housekeeper came to get some cleaning done before the holidays, and get this ya'll....she said at home she can't stand to be bored, so she cleans, for fun and to have something to do. The only time I get a bee in my bonnet about cleaning is when someone is coming, when it's so bad even my husband can't stand it, or when I'm totally upset over something. Then you will find me wiping baseboards and cleaning out drawers. Otherwise, I'm good with bored.

We had a horrible bus accident here this past week. A school bus flipped off the overpass on the interstate and landed nose first. Four high school girls were killed and many others injured. The NTSB is here doing an investigation. Horrible thing to have happen right here during the holidays (not like there is a good time.) My heart goes out to those families who lost children, and the many others who still have children in the hospital.
My son has to have surgery next Wednesday. Not anything major, just a day surgery thing, but I'm a mama and I worry, so say a prayer for him, would you?
Well, better get my butt moving for our Turkey Day. Gobble Gobble

Oh My God Amazing

I just discovered an artist who makes the most lifelike sculptures I've ever seen. You have to check this out. Click here. Look through all of them.

Eyes, Navels, and Furry Dogs

My eye feels better. It still hurts, but it's not as bad as it was. I'm getting used to the hurting. That's scary.
My husband who always does dishes left the kitchen a mess after I cooked him a fabulous supper every night this whole week, and I'm on strike from cooking until he cleans up the mess. Of course, he doesn't know that, but you do.
I put Lavender Downy in my sheets when I did the laundry and now I don't want to get out of bed.
I bought my two dogs sweaters and they look so cute. They make me want to change their names to Biff and Buffy instead of Boo-Boo and Rags.
I felt a great need for comfort, so I made salisbury steak with gravy, mashed potatoes, and magic cookie bars yesterday. Today I ordered a new granny square afghan off ebay. I feel better already.
When I'm bored, I don't contemplate my navel. For one thing, it's a lot of effort to find it. So I just look at my hands. I like my hands, even after taking off the fake nails. They were good for a cruise, but lousy for housework.
I got tired of red hair. I went through a whole lot of boxes of "fix it" stuff before getting it close to my normal color. I feel normal, but boring. But I was beginning to feel like Gothic Grandma Gone Gooney, so natural is better.
I watched Gray's Anatomy. If Alex thinks he can come after DENNY (hot hot hot) and have a snowball chance in hell, he's nuts. Right Izzy? Right? Izzy?? Also, the bone doc and George....who cares??
In my next life, I want to be Joy on My Name is Earl. She does whatever she wants, says whatever she wants, has an ex husband who still wants her to be happy, a nice husband who loves her, and still has a killer body. And Roseanne is her neighbor, Brett Butler her mama. Can't beat that for a Southern nightmare that is fun.
I want to finish my book, but right now, it hurts to look at the computer screen for very long. So with that, I'll end this post.

Making Love to Food? Oh yeahhhhhhh!

Turkey Day is looming. I made one trip to the grocery store to stock up on needed items for my pie baking. This week I make the final list and go for broke. I usually break up the Thanksgiving meal over two weeks so that it doesn't break the bank in one fell swoop. My baby son is coming home, with his girlfriend (see picture).

I think we will have ten people in all. In a recent comment, Amy said she thought I cooked a lot. Well, we have ten people coming, maybe more. They all like to eat. And they usually eat lunch and then dinner on the leftovers. So we need a lot.
Every year I make cornbread dressing according to my Granny's recipe (onions, sage, etc.). This year, I'd like to shake it up a little and make cranberry apple stuffing. I'm afraid they won't like it because it won't be what they are used to. What do you think? Should I shake it up or go with what's worked in the past?
My middle son is graduating in a few weeks from college. He's got the "Senior panic" and what if I worked this hard and then flunk out mood. I keep assuring him he'll be fineeeeee. I don't say if you flunk out now I'll kill you. ha.
No, we won't be shopping the After Thanksgiving Day sale. I do have a suggestion for next year. We should push for a "After Thanksgiving Day" dollar sale on Amazon. All books a dollar, today only. Free shipping. Sounds good to me.
I've got three things I'm suppose to be writing and I'm getting none of them done. Maybe after the holidays. I kind of like the idea of not making myself any "should have's" or "need to's" until after the holidays.
I am craving chocolate so bad today. Must be a side effect of eye surgery, hormones, impending mother-in-law's annual visit, and cold weather. I could eat the side out of a chocolate cow. I saw on the tv the other day a lady that said Southerners make love to food. Perfect description. If you don't believe me, put a group of women in a kitchen cooking and tasting and listen to the sounds they make. Ohhhh Betty...That's gooooood....Oh Yummmmmm....Give me a little more of that....Oh Goddddd that's amaaaaaazzzzing....Give her some, too.....Ummm...... We know a good thing when we taste it.

Feeling Sorry For Myself

UPDATE: The doctor discovered I was having ann allergic reaction to the ointment he gave me. Common to be allergic, according to his nurse. Nice he gave us the tube and told us to use it three times a day knowing it causes common reactions, but he failed to mention that part.....

I had the eye surgery Friday. I had to wait until yesterday to take off the huge bandages. They said eye will be very bloodshot (check), hurt (check) and be "overcompensated and turn in too much at first" (nope, that sucker is straight). I looked and looked at it. They stay perfectly straight with very little effort. But when I totally relax them, the one they did the surgery on still wants to turn out about ten degrees. I wanted to cry.
So the doctor calls me to see how I'm doing. I said, "I don't see double. I see perfect, but it's turning out slightly when I relax, and I am afraid we will have to do the surgery again." He said not to worry yet. Right now, everything has to heal. It can take two weeks to see what we end up with.
But ya'll, I still think I'm going to have to do this again. It's not right. And I can't say I'm looking forward to it. I'm still choking down hydrocodone and thinking how bad it hurts when they wear off. How's it going to feel after poking in there again.
I'm feeling very sorry for myself right now. I'd sit down and really cry but I think that would hurt too much.

Scan down, New post three down

thanks.

Just What I Need!

Just what I need...my favorite thought when I browse Amazon. They know how to suck me in...put those recommended books on the home page...books selected just for me. Books by Lee Smith, Grisham, Oprah books, etc. And of course, I have to buy them. Then my boxes arrive, and arrive, and arrive (I bet UPS curses us every time he brings yet another one..."Why can't she order them at one time instead of one every freaking day?")
I sat down last night and did some figuring. We added three new bookcases to our two we already had, and still we are overflowing. But I LOVE books. Love them.
My daughter goes to the library. To me, that defeats the whole experience of books. I want the box with the new book inside, the book that is new and crisp, never opened, all for me. I read very carefully, barely opening the book so as not to crease the spine. One of the biggest fights I ever had with my ex was over a book that had just arrived and was proudly sitting on my coffee table, which he grabbed and cracked back the spine to wrap the front cover across the back one. I screamed in pain. It felt like my spine he'd creased. How could he?
Well, like I said, last night I did some figuring. I buy about two new books a week. Thats 104 books a year. I start reading about twenty books a month. I finish maybe two (get bored easily, start another, fully intending to come back to the first later).
Once I'm finished, it's difficult for me to part with them, unless it's to loan them to someone I care about, for them to enjoy. So my book pile grows. I tell myself that after my husband retires, when my book budget's bottom drops out, I'll be stocked up and ready to curl up and read my old age away. Problem is, there may not be enough room by then for a chair......

Wanted to Share...

I got these in an email from a dear friend. I wanted to share. As a steel magnolia, I know he's right. The strength of the family lies with the woman's heart.

"The honor of the people lies in the moccasin tracks of the woman.
Walk the good road.... Be dutiful, respectful, gentle and modest my daughter... Be strong with the warm, strong heart of the earth. No people goes down until their women are weak and dishonored, or dead upon the ground.
Be strong and sing the strength of the Great Powers within you, all around you."

The Elders say the Native American women will lead the healing among the tribes. We need to especially pray for our women, and ask the Creator to bless them and give them strength. Inside them are the
powers of love and strength given by the Moon and the Earth. When everyone else gives up, it is the women who sings the songs of strength. She is the backbone of the people. So, to our women we say, sing your songs of strength; pray for your special powers; keep our
people strong; be respectful, gentle and modest.

Oh, Great One, bless our women. Make them strong today.

--SIOUX WARRIOR

Beep Beep, Naptime Over! Wake up Now!

I wrote this last Monday and forgot to post. Eye surgery went well but I'm not up to writing much right now. So here's this post and I'll write more when I get the bandages off.

It was a long, recuperating weekend. I took a nap on Sunday and caught up on some of the sleep I missed on the cruise. My friend wanted to see the sunrise, and is an early riser to boot. So every morning about 530, she would stand up and announce, "Man, I missed the sunrise again!" Once I'm awake, I'm awake, so we got up early every day. The last day she finally beat the sunrise (yippee) and said it was not nearly as spectacular as she believed it would be, since we were already at Mobile's port. The best shows are the late night ones, so we missed a lot of sleep.
My daughter came Saturday for a mother-daughter day out. We invited my step-daughter along, but she turned us down. We did some shopping and had lunch. We looked at lots of baby things and talked.
I read about a place in New York where you can pay money to take a nap. It's called Metronap. I've always needed a little nap time in the afternoon, and I have spent many days researching a good place to take one. My son's favorite is to buy a matinee ticket, and sleep between college classes in the back of the theatre. I have parked my car at the end of the parking lot, set the alarm on my cellphone and laid the seat back to recline. I've also locked my office door after lunch when I had my own business, and took a nap on the floor, knowing my first appointment was at 3 PM. I've always thought a place to take a nap would be a big hit in the business world. After all, they don't call them power naps for nothing. But this Metronaps only last about twenty minutes. It takes me that long to get to sleep. I think I'd be very grumpy when they told me my time was up just when I was getting into some deep sleep. I wonder how much a two hour pass would cost? Now that would be about right. Geez, putting time limits on naps is as bad as alarm clocks in the morning. Goes against nature. Got to be a sin in there somewhere.
My friend, Dawn, is coming over next week and we are going to organize my kitchen. Then when I begin to make Thanksgiving dinner, I won't have to dig to the back of the cabinets for anything. I'm still planning our menu. It begins with a Cajun Fried Turkey and Spiral Sliced Ham from Honeybaked. I order the meat and I make the rest. Anyone have a favorite recipe they'd like to share? Our typical menu is Sweet Potato Casserole with brown sugar and walnut topping, green beans, buttered niblet corn, cornbread dressing, turkey gravy, hashbrown casserole, broccoli salad, deviled eggs, and a couple of desserts, including pumpkin pie. I'd love to change it up this time. Anyone have something good to share?

Is It Siesta Time?

Well, I'm home. I can safely say I plan to stay put at home this time and not run off for another cruise any time soon. One reason is my eye surgery which is scheduled for the 10th. The other is the fact that as much as I enjoyed it, trying to pack everything you want to do into five days is exhausting. So I'm happy to be home in my recliner.

I blew my diet big time this time around. However, I am so TIRED of eating and feeling stuffed that I can't WAIT to get back on track again. I think that the eating is part of the reason I feel so yucky, too.

We had a good time. The second day of our cruise, my friend's daughter sent her an email saying one of the people who was suppose to help her with babysitting didn't follow through, and she had no sitter, her husband was mad, she didn't know what to do, was very upset, etc. etc. So my friend cried all morning thinking everything was a mess at home and not being able to do anything about it. I wrote the daughter back, and said your mom is very upset but there is nothing she can do. She left you a list of people who volunteered to help, so call one of them! Then we got an email back and she apologized for making her mother cry and promised to handle it and not ruin her mother's cruise. She said she had to be the most selfish person in the world and was soooo sorry. After that, my friend started to enjoy herself again.

Our cruise was four hours late arriving at the pier, and thus four hours late leaving. We were suppose to visit Costa Maya as our first stop, but ended up going to Calica because of the time lost. My friend did a lot of shopping. She also was totally shocked at the topless beaches. Her reaction was hilarious. She is a bit of a prude in some ways, even complaining about the showgirls in the shows wearing thongs under their costumes. I told her the men running around in tight jeans without shirts made up for that, but she didn't see it that way. ha.

I played slots one night and spent 12 and won $400. I promptly quit and did some shopping. I have my daughter's birthday present, some Mexican pottery for my kitchen, and a new watch. I also bought some Mexican baby dresses, so if the new grandchild is a boy, he's sure going to look strange in the embroidered dresses. ha.

The most interesting part of the cruise for me was the dinner dining. They seated us at a table with a group of four sisters, and another pair of two sisters. My friend, Dawn, is very outgoing. She quickly was involved in a conversation that lasted the whole five days, with breaks in between dinner and running into them at various places on the ship. I was the quiet one, of course, but just to hear how women talk to each other, and the personal things they tell about themselves was surprising to me. I guess I'm just not that OPEN about sharing information with total strangers, except on this blog. Sometimes not having any privacy because we were always meeting up with the group of other people was exhausting to me.

I talked to my husband about it last night, and he totally understood. One of the four sisters seemed to be a little overwhelmed with all the chatter, too, and was quiet like me. I tend to naturally enjoy blending into the background.

My step-son-in-law believes that there are no true introverts or extroverts but they can change if they want to. I think if he was on this cruise and could have observed all the people, he would change his mind. It's easy to find the true extoverts and introverts, and all the shades in between. And people seem to like being the way they are. Me included.

Today I have to do laundry and clean the house and try to wean myself away from having others do everything for me, to doing it myself. Here's the surprising part. I'm actually looking forward to getting back into my routine and actually working around here. Go figure.

What's a Girl to Do?

What is it about packing for a trip that makes me feel like I'm about to go through the Great Depression with no resources. I swear every time I go on a trip that I will pack LIGHT and not take everything I own. I start out ok. Few blouses, check. Pants, check. Socks, undies, check. From there, things get out of hand. Makeup, check, hair stuff, check. Before you know it, I have packed most of my medicine cabinet. Just in case, you know. What if I need something to read. I'll take a book. What if I finish that one? Better take two. And on and on.
Next thing you know, I'm sitting on the suitcase begging my husband to try to force the zipper closed. And wondering how I'm ever going to get it all back in there to come home.
Last cruise, we took four suitcases and two totebags for two people. This time, my friend and I were determined to take one large suitcase each. Well, she brought her's by today, and it weighs about two hundred pounds and bulges from every seam. I felt better.
So tonight I'm going to unpack what I've packed and try to pare it down some. But that little voice in my head that screams at me, "But you might need that!" will just have to shut up. Think light. Think light. Geez. What's a girl to do?

Get Down, Granny!

In case you haven't read my daughter's blog, I found out yesterday that I'm going to be a GRANNY next July. We don't know what the little one will be yet, but loved is on the list! Of course, we know the baby's favorite colors will be orange and blue and the baby's first words will be War Eagle, that is if Daddy's influence works. But among the baby's first sentences will be, "I want to go to Granny's!" "Granny, you make good cookies!" and "Granny loves me."
I am so excited. That means we will have a baby for 2007 Christmas! Christmases are always a lot more fun with babies.
So there are different kinds of Grannys. There are cool Grannies, old fogey Grannies, embarrassing Grannies, and soft, squishy, hugging Grannies. Which one will I be? I'll be a cool old fogey, sometimes embarrassing, but always soft, squishy and hugging Granny.
Geez, eight months is a long time to wait.

Pass me the Rhinestones, Dahhh-Ling!

I heard a joke once about how the French people sat around one day and said, "Those Americans are so dumb, I bet we could bottle water and sell it to them." And the rest is history. I buy my share of bottled water. We even have one of those spring water coolers perched in the corner of our kitchen, which we make good use of often.
But when I go to the store, and plunk down my $1 for a bottle of water, I can't help thinking what my dad would say about it. "Water? You are paying a DOLLAR for WATER? Why, I get all the water I want from the faucet. And I don't pay for it. It comes from a well. A well I dug with my own hands. And it's cleaner water than anything you get from those pipes the city sends it through..." etc. etc. etc. At least I'm paying a dollar, and not thirty five dollars for the latest BlingH2O, with rhinestones on the bottle for a mere $35!

When we took the cruise, my husband and I decided to have lunch one day in the dining room rather than the buffets or pizza bar. We were seated in a nice booth in the corner, and all was well until they decided to use up that space we didn't take up in the booth by seating Biff and Buffy with us. Of course, Biff and Buffy weren't their real names, but they might as well have been. They were manicured better than the White House lawn, and had the attitude to match. In five minutes, they asked, "What do you do? Do you have children? What schools did they attend? What do they do?" and on and on....Since we didn't have any Ivy League schools to mention, I guess they had put us into the country bumpkin category by then.

But just in case, we had not yet been relagated, we clinched it. The waiter asked for our order, and I ordered a salad and water with lemon. To which my husband replied, he'd have water, too, no lemon.
Biff and Buffy were horrified. "You mean you drink the water from the ship?"
"Uh...yeah. Why?"
"It's loaded with chlorine. It has more chlorine in it than our swimming pool at home! Can't you smell it? It's horrendous!"
"Uh, no, hadn't noticed whether my water smelled. Tastes ok to me."

To that, they turned up their noses and we all finished our lunches in peace. Buffy had her bottled water, and Biff, his iced tea. Made from what, I thought....That nasty chlorine water I bet...

Thelma and Louise on Carnival

My friend, Dawn, came over today and we tackled the bedroom closet. It looks so much better and I found a lot of things I had lost. While she was here, we talked about her divorce, how hateful her ex is being, and how much she needs a break.

She asked about the cruise and went on and on about how she's had one vacation in thirty years and they camped, in a TENT, which flooded when it rained, and she cooked and cleaned up after everyone the whole time. She said she'd LOVE to go on a cruise, and she has wanted to all her life.

So...I said, could you afford to go? She said she had some money tucked back her dad sent her for her birthday. So I went online to look, and while I was looking she said she could never go by herself, because she wouldn't know what to do or anything. Well, we found a cruise leaving the 28th of this month. So...I booked it, for a girls' week away.

THEN I called my husband. He was so nice about it, and said he would give me some spending money to take with me. We ordered a certified copy of her birth certificate to be overnighted, and we're all set. She was jumping up and down she was so excited.

So...in ten days I'm sailing away again. And I can't wait. This time it's just the GIRLS.
Here's a funny side story to this whole thing. She called her attorney to make sure her going away on a cruise wouldn't negatively impact her divorce progress, and told him she wanted to go on a cruise with her friend. He said male friend or female? She was so embarrassed she turned bright red. She said, "Oh My! She's FEMALE. I'm known her for thirty years!" I thought it was funny.

I told her we eat in a dining room, and she can order what she likes from a menu. She said do they ever have steak? I said they have steak every night if you want it. I told her they also have seafood, chicken, etc. She said I sure don't want chicken. I have chicken at home. I NEVER get steak. I'M EATING STEAK EVERY NIGHT! Then she danced around some more.
I think it will be so fun. Thelma and Louise on Carnival. ha

It's Gripe Day! An Official Holiday for Gripers!

You ever have those days when you keep telling yourself how good you have it, and how grateful you should be for your life, and you don't believe it? A day when all you want to do is bitch and gripe? Well this is that week for me. My hormones are raging and this feels very much like major PMS. I almost wish it were, since that would give me a REALLY good explanation for gaining weight while totally depriving myself of everything I wanted to eat on the cruise. It could be PMS, since one of the side effects of peri-menopause is having no earthly idea when Mr. Monthly is going to show up.
Add to that the fact that I'm ready to pack a suitcase and leave this cluttered pile we call a townhouse behind, all the while looking longingly at houses in my book on minimalist decorating with clean tables and no knick-knacks, and no excess furniture. So I called my friend, Dawn. She's known me for 24 years, and has heard this belly-aching story more than once. She and I worked out a plan. She's coming over the next two days, and we are going to tackle the clutter.
She is an expert on clutter busting. The fact that she doesn't do it at her house doesn't mean she's not an expert. Everyone knows it is a lot easier to organize anyone's house but your own. We are starting with my bedroom closet. It's a walk-in that can no longer be walked-into because my husband refuses to throw away anything. Won't he be surprised when he gets home tomorrow.
I hope she can help me with closets and drawers. I don't care what he keeps as long as I have a place to keep everything out of sight. When the clutter fills the hidden spaces and spills over into spaces I SEE, it's time for drastic measures. I considered hiring a bulldozer and a dump truck. I considered fire. Then I settled on seeking help from my friend and making our local thrift store very happy. Of course, I agreed to pay her for her services. But some of it we will trade out as she gets first dibs on the junk. She loves my hand-me-down clothes as she and I can wear the same size.
I had a submission accepted while I was on the cruise. It's for a writers calendar and I wrote a short ditty about writing they liked. They offered to pay me, give me free calendars, advertise my writing website, and list me on their website as a contributor. Here's the catch. They wanted a bio, no big deal. They wanted a photo of me in my element. She explained it like this...one garden writer was photographed in the garden, a wildlife writer in the forest. Must not be posed. Must be candid. Must reflect your personality. Well I appointed my son to the camera and task at hand. He followed me around and we tried all kinds of situations and he snapped away. I reviewed and vetoed them all. Oh My God, do I look like that?? What if I hold my head higher? Will that hide my neck? Wait, let me put on more makeup! He was getting so frustrated with me. Finally I said, let's do it at the kitchen table. I write about Southern women. Where better than sitting at the kitchen table? So he took twenty at the table and I vetoed them all, then went back and settled on the best of the worst, which the calendar editor loved. I'll just be very selective about who I tell about the calendar.
I started my book today. It's about the haunted house we live in back in the 70's. I wrote the first four chapters of the rough draft. So far, I like it. When you write it and it even scares you to write it, you figure it's working. I'm excited about it.

And my life goes on...

Battle of the Sexes Won, Battle of the Bulge Continues

The cruise was wonderful. We made a list each day of all the activities we wanted to do, had a lot of fun, stayed up late, got up early, walked a lot, ate a lot, and just had a great time. I tried my best to eat the "light selections" from the menu, and except for one night when I had what I considered to be the best dessert on the menu, I stuck right by that. I also took the stairs up and down all day, and we walked through Cozumel rather than taking a taxi to do our shopping. I thought I had done great on my weight loss. I came back and weighed this morning and had gained 1 and 3/4 pounds. But I decided on my way back from weighing-in that I did the best I could, and that I had only failed if I gave up. Since I'm "keeping on keeping on," then I won't worry about it. Yes, it could have been much worse.


One of the highlights of our trip was the day we attended "Battle of the Sexes" in one of the auditoriums, which the host had separated into all women on the right, all men on the left. He then asked, "Which of your men are happily married?" My husband raised his hand, along with many others, but since he's a big guy near the front, the host then said, "Great, sir, you can be our captain of the men's team. Come on up to the front." Then he turned and, you guessed it, said, "And where is this man's wife?" I reluctantly stood, and he said, "You will be our women's captain!" I thought I would die. I thought about killing my husband. Then I thought, I will never see these people again, and I trudged up to the front. Of course, we women won the battle of the sexes. Did you have any doubt? And I won over my battle of being the wallflower in the corner, at least for one afternoon.
I am going to post a couple of pictures we had made, which show my fat face. But consider these "before pictures" with after pictures to follow at a later date.

Ma'am, Your Clothes Are Falling Off!

It's been a month since I started taking better care of myself. Making the decision was the hard part. Fearing failure was always in my mind the first couple of weeks, afraid to get my hopes up in case I failed. Now it's been a month. I decided to get a new outfit for the cruise, a satin skirt and sequined jacket. I looked in all the local stores but no luck. So I found one in an online catalog and ordered it with priority shipping. Yesterday it came. It's gorgeous.

So this morning I tried it on. I zipped the skirt and then grabbed the jacket and put it on. I looked in the mirror. The jacket is hanging off my shoulders and there is an awful lot of extra material in the front of the jacket. I tried rearranging it on my body but no luck. Still looked too big. How can that be? This is MY SIZE.

So while I'm still standing by the mirror, I take off the jacket and then STARE at the skirt. The waist of the skirt is now around my hips. Wh-h-h-at? The skirt is too big. WAY too big. So I pull off the skirt and start dancing around in my underwear and singing, "Oh yeah! Oh yeah!"

I went back to my closet, and I decided to try on one of the dressy dresses I had, but figured I'd never get into. It fits! So now I am going to take this new outfit back to the catalog desk today, and I'm going to wear what I already had. But I'm thrilled!

Eating better is actually getting to be a habit. I think of what I'm going to order BEFORE I get to the restaurant. I went through the "watching tv and munching" fear, until I figured out some snacks like popcorn that I can have at night. The thing is, I've sort of gotten to where I'm not even wanting that at night. I can watch tv without feeding my face at the same time, most of the time.

So am I proud of myself? Yes. Am I scared to be proud of myself? Yes. I'm scared to even post this for the fear that some food demon will possess me and I'll blow it. But so far, folks, so good.
Here's the main thing. I feel so much better. I am still not exercising enough, but I'm going to get a jump start on that next week on the cruise.

So for all of you who sent good thoughts my way, keep 'em coming, because it's working.