In our home, hubby is pretty sure he will be able to retire May 31. Which means he is sooooo close, but so far away, like that last semester of school, remember? And the days seem to crawl by. And right now, he absolutely despises his job. Hates it. And every day said job seems to heap on him even more reasons to hate it, usually in the afternoon, at close to time for him to go home. So to say he comes home grumpy would be an understatement of epic proportions.
And when he gets home, he gets his dinner plate and sits down in the recliner to watch...::::::drumroll:::::the NEWS. Of which he always has an opinion, and those opinions become rants when he's grouchy. And not one of his opinions is the same as mine. You see, he and his mom are of a different political party. They are hard line Republicans. (Here I am,an Alabama native,and I'm the liberal in the house, go figure.)
Meanwhile, here I am in this place of my life. I have simplified my life to the point where it is very manageable to me. Most days are calm and peaceful. I read. I may write a little. I watch my soap. I look at cooking videos on YT. I cook dinner. I manage anxiety without needing meds.
So in comes my Tasmanian Devil from work. And we are watching the news. And he voted for Donnie. And he will not admit that he has any regrets over it. What he does say is that all media is unfair to poor Donnie, and anything said against him is a lie.
I gave up trying to change his mind. He has not given up on changing mine. And I decided long ago, that I refuse to waste my breath arguing with anyone over anything. I will state my opinion, but arguments, no. No way. Hell no.
So when the news comes on, and the ranting begins, and goes on and on and on. I keep my mouth shut a long time. A LONG time. I really do. But sooner or later, I reach my limit, and say, "Well...I disagree. I feel....(insert comment of the day)" And I wave the red cape at the bull.
He immediately wants to argue. And that's fine. But it takes two. And I won't argue. Which makes things worse. He goes on and on, and then I say, "Well, like I said, I disagree." If it goes on and on long enough, I have said, "You are not going to change my opinion. I am through discussing this." That makes him furious. I think what he really needs is to vent because his day was so crappy. And I love him and want that for him. That's why I let him go on so long. But I have my limit on how much my peaceful life can be disrupted. I have given up my voice so much of my life.
Now where is his mom in all this? Well, sometimes they gang up on me. That's just the truth. But not too long ago, I stood up, teared up, and said I felt ganged up on. I walked out of the room. They both looked like deer in the headlights. They had hurt my feelings, and I don't think either of them had considered that they were hurting me.
Now his mom will sometimes try to calm things. Like last night's discussion was over whether confederate statues should be taken down. I was yes. I was adamant. He was of the opinion that it's history. If you keep removing history every time someone is offended, etc etc. His mom said perhaps the difference in opinion here is where you are from. She reminded him that my having grown up here, I've seen more and lived more of the bigotry and hate and have a different perspective because of it. That defused things. Sometimes she is helpful.
I know marriages are not easy. The older people get the more they get set in their ways. That is true. And I love him and respect him. I love and respect me, too. Took a long time to get there. And neither of us is going anywhere.
My retirement goal is to keep my life peaceful. If that means living in another room during news, so be it. We have another tv. 😜👍
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