Thursday, August 17, 2006

Help, I'm Melting!




Hot flashes are hell. But if they are not bad ENOUGH, try hot flashes on a day when you are doing laundry and running the hot dryer all day. Not hell enough? Ok, throw in 90 degrees in Alabama and the central air unit dying at the same time. Hell enough?

Yesterday was that kind of day. Of course, I'm loading laundry and cussing (hey, I'm home alone except for my dogs and they don't care) about how *%#@ hot it is. Then I looked at the clock and realized it was nearing time for my boys (husband and son) to get home and I have nothing cooked. I looked at the stove and the hot dryer and remembered how *$#@ hot it is and called my husband to get take out. Then I turned down the thermostat and sat down to wait on him to get home.

God, still hot. I turn on the ceiling fan and eat an ice cream cone. About the time he gets home, I take a closer look at that thermostat: Set temp 69. Actual temp 84? What the #@%*!!!

So by now I'm in a really bad mood. I tell my husband that the freaking air is not working and to fix it! NOW! Bless his heart. He goes outside and listens to the central unit. Yep, it's running, he says. Please look at that thermostat, I scream, because it says it's freaking 84 in here! By now, it said 86! Do something! I'm melting! I'm sure by now he's hoping it's true that witches melt.

But bless his heart. He decides maybe it's because he has been lax about changing the filter lately, and he trudges up the attic and gets one and changes it. We climb up on a ladder to feel the air coming from the vent. (We have nine foot ceilings). There is no freaking air coming from the vents. Shut it off! He screams. I'm not sure if he means the thermostat or me, but I hope it's the thermostat and flip it off.

Then he calls the repairman. Yes, they can come today. By now, it's 7 PM. Not much day left. At 7:30, I throw him the phone and say, Call them back and ask when!!!!
They can come at nine, if we will still be up then. Up? Who the f*** can sleep in this heat! Yes we will be UP! Get out here!

So the repairman does arrive, and he says it's frozen up. And he says he needs to run the heat for awhile to defrost it. So he turns on the heat. I'm meeeeelllllltttttiiiiinnnnggggg.




While we are busy melting, I ask if they have been busy lately. He says oh yes, we've been working sixteen hours a day. And he says, it's nice to make the kind of money that doctors and lawyers make, but the hours are killing him. Both me and hubby cast looks at each other. Neither of us missed the money remark, and both of us have those "oh shit" looks.

Well, an hour later, we are "patched up good enough until I can get the part in", my husband is eight hundred dollars poorer, and I am finally cooling off. Do you know what a woman looks like who's cooling off after melting? Not a pretty sight. But I think he was just glad I was going to shut up and go to sleep.

3 comments:

Gillian said...

I'm wondering if they were taking advantage of you. We had the same problem, hadn't cleaned the filters, and it had frozen up so no cool air. We turned the A/C off, made sure it was completely thawed (cleaned the filter, of course). After all that it started working again and we make sure we keep the filter cleaned.

(My neighbor has experience with Central A/C's and told us what to do)

Freebird said...

86 degrees. Now wonder you're melting. I'm sweating just thinking about it!

Cathy said...

I was melting last night and the thermostat said it was 72 degrees. I can't imagine what it would be like around here if the air conditioner went out. There would be no surviving it for me or anyone I might come into contact with. Combine fluctuating hormones with middle of the summer heat and you come up with a deadly weapon!