I'm On to Something Here

I am reading this book the therapist gave me about life transitions. There was an exercise that said get out a piece of paper. Across the top write "Good Things I Want to Happen in My Life" and to start writing. DON'T THINK about what you are going to say. Make yourself start writing and keep writing. No pauses. And the author said you'll be surprised what comes through.
Well I did this. And I realized that some of the things I want most in my life are 1) to be creative and pursue artistic avenues (I'd love to have an art set and some canvases) and 2) to pursue photography seriously and 3) to continue to express myself through my writing and not worry about whether or not I sell anything else.
I have to tell you I would have never realized these things without this exercise. Why? Am I that much out of touch with myself? People have asked me what I would like to have as goals for my future, and I'm at a loss. Yet in just streaming out the writing I realized what some of the things I really want are.
I saw my favorite show Starting Over this morning, and one of the girls had to complete an exercise where she painted what "anger" looked like to her. But the exercise began with, "Go into the foyer, and look behind the bar. You'll find a package with blank canvases and art supplies. I want you to take those and find a quiet place and...." I realized I was so envious of her, because she was being given those things and that assignment. Well that just reinforced it.
As for photography, I've always loved nature photos, especially trees. I tried once to buy a camera and I took some photos I was really proud of, but later decided I needed the money and sold my camera on Ebay, without ever really taking myself seriously about it. I once watched a movie called "Where the Heart Is" where the girl gets a camera and begins to take her photography seriously, and takes some award winning photographs, and I realized I was envious of that. So maybe I need to take a photography class! And buy me some art supplies!! And ask my husband for some uninterrupted time to write!! I get excited thinking about doing these things, so I guess that means I'm on to something here!!

More Revelations

Tonight I made homemade pizza with no extra salt. I even made the crust in my bread machine. They were really good. It satisfied the craving I've had lately for pizza. And it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I used my bread machine to knead the dough, then rolled it out and let it rise in the pans. I put bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, and mozzarella. I used low sodium spaghetti sauce.
I almost forgot this morning that today was my day to see the counselor. Today we talked about my impatience to speed this process along. She told me we have to deal with the past before we can deal with my present and my future. She said to stop rushing it and just let it happen. I just feel like I've expressed my feelings about my family of origin and they are no secret, so why do I have to keep talking about it?
She also called me on the statement I made about being too old to make any major changes to my life. She said well in five years, you'll be 53 whether you are meeting your goals or not. Would you rather be 53 with goals attained, or 53 and not having done anything. So that made sense.
She gave me two books to read this week. I guess that will keep me busy.
I guess it all comes down to trusting the process. I got the best therapist I could find, I am doing everything she says I should do (even when it's painful) and I just have to let it go and let it happen.
I told her that I didn't go to my cousin's funeral, because my family was going to be there, and I didn't want to face that situation. I told her my daughter's advice was that I was giving them too much control over my life, and if I go and cry, so what? It's a funeral and you're suppose to cry!
She said well that's your daughter. That's not you. And I don't think you're ready to face them at this point. Comparing myself to others is not helping me either. (But I am extremely proud my daughter is able to speak up for herself, and I'll get there!)
I also told her I think it's hard for my husband as I go through this process because I don't share with him what happens and I think he feels shut out, or like I'm pulling away from him at times. I just don't feel that I can explain things the right way. She suggested I bring him in on the next session, so he can understand how she is trying to help me, and what he can expect from the process, etc. I don't tell him when I'm peeved, and I don't ask for what I need from him sometimes, so I think that would be helpful, if for nothing else but opening a dialogue between us. I don't want to whine to him about it. I don't want to do that with anyone. I do that within the four walls of the therapist's office, and I do that in this blog. I am afraid of people feeling pity for me. I don't want that most of all. But as I have learned, what other people think of me is none of my business. I'm letting that one sink in.

Last Weeks Visit with the Counselor

A therapist once told me that my ex and I made a perfect couple, when I looked shocked, she laughed and said, "He doesn't take responsiblity for anything, and you take it for everything." He could never accept our divorce as having anything to do with him. He was more comfortable in the victim role after the divorce, and before the divorce, I would have to say I was very comfortable in the victim role. His angry outbursts controlled my life and my kids' lives. I truly wonder if he was manic depressive, plus being an adult child of alcoholism, but then I figured out that his diagnosis wasn't my problem. When we were married, I begged him, pleaded with him to go get counseling, to at least go to our family doctor and tell him how he was feeling and get some medication, something, anything. He told me, "Listen, I'm not going to do any of that. You either like the way things are, or get the $#%$ out." I took the out. He assured me, that no man would ever have me, that I would spend the rest of my life alone. And I was angered by that, but totally believed it. I wrapped myself in my children, and lived the next year not even recognizing interest from men towards me, not even when friends pointed it out. I was that convinced that they wouldn't want ME. Then a year or so after the divorce, I met a guy through a lady at church. He was lonely and needy as I was. He wanted a wife, and from day one told me what I needed was to get married and settle down with him and build a life for my kids. Three weeks later, I married him. Two weeks after that, I filed for divorce, when I realized what I got was a man who valued not me, but the fact that I had a house and a job, and he wouldn't have to work because of it. My family ridiculed me for that mess, but no one felt more ashamed of it than me. I did a stupid stupid thing. Then I didn't trust myself, but I still wanted someone. So I went out and married a man 19 years my senior, who really deep down hated women (but that was ok, because I didn't like myself either), and he spend the first year of our marriage trying to fix me. Trying to dress me, teach me what he wanted in a trophy wife. I bent, I bent, and as I bent I was crumbling. I left him. We got divorced. He begged me to get back together. I gave in. We got married again. Same thing. We got divorced again. And THAT time, I got my butt into counseling. I told her my story and she said, Go out and buy a book called Love is a Choice and read it. I went back and said very interesting book. Not sure what it has to do with me though. What do I do now? She said, READ IT AGAIN. The second time through the light came on and I finally got what codependent was and how it applied to my life decisions. Wow. Blew me away. That's when I took the year off from dating. Things have been different since then.

I don't think I could ever have chosen a man out of NEED. I had to get to the place inside myself where I chose one out of WANT. I think coming at it from NEED means coming at it from FEAR. And coming at it from WANT, is more a place of LOVE.

I didn't get to stay in counseling very long that time, because of the finances. So after hubby got his new insurance this year, I decided it's time to go back and finish what I started. It's very hard. I leave there with my eyes swollen from crying and feeling totally exhausted. I come home and don't want to think about anything or feel anything. And I let myself be numb when I need to be.

I wanted to tell you about the session last week. My sister is having a family reunion at my Dad's this weekend. I was torn over whether to go. Part of me said you need to, you're obligated. Part of me said, I don't want to. I told the counselor I needed some advice. She said ok. I want you to hold up your two hands. I did. She said your left hand is the one that says you should go. The right says you shouldn't. Now I want you to think about your left hand. The part of you that says you need to do this. How old is this person? What is she wearing? What room is she in? Who is around her? What are they doing? How is she feeling? etc etc. It seems so silly to me at first. But I tried to go along. I got so into the questions she was asking, that after buckets of tears and some terrible memories coming up I had put out of my mind, I finally identified the two most dominant parts of my personality. One is the scared young girl who wants to be good, who wants to please everyone, to make them like her and not be angry with her. Who was victimized by the people she cared for most, and blames herself, and thinks if she was only better, she'd be loveable. The other part of me is the rebellious thirty seven year old (age I was at first divorce) who says screw them. She's the angry one. She's the defiant one. She's the one who can spit in their face and tell them all where to go. She's the one who acts out, who does things or says things that I later feel guilty about. Then it hit me. All of my decisions come from one of these two "females" in me. All of my indecisions come from them fighting it out. She said I needed to "exorcise" both to them and come to a happy medium, and that's what we are going to work on. I'm simplified what happened but I swear the process was so intense and so enlightening, it floored me. And it made everything make more sense to me.

As for the Meniere's, it's better today. The weekend after I saw the ENT, I was very sick with it. Since then it's been better except for the occasional mild vertigo. I'm trying to not prejudge how this is going to affect my life and just wait and see, and do the best I can with each day. The thought of having limited driving scares me. The thought of being afraid to go off far from home in case I get sick bothers me. But I'll just see how it goes.

I met the neatest lady from writing this blog. Somehow she found it through a search engine and we've been exchanging letters ever since. Good things do come from blogging!

My Top Twelve Pet Peeves for April

1) People who call me to run their other friends down. If a dog will bring a bone, he'll carry one.
2.) Those invisible walls between the smoking and non-smoking sections. If it's within five feet of the smoking section, you can call it non-smoking, but it's not!
3.) People who can't make you a no-salt plate in a restaurant without wanting all the details of why you are on this strange diet. (Yes, this is a new one.) I am thinking of telling them I have a rare allergy to salt and people who ask too many questions. (No, I wouldn't really say that, but neither do I want to explain I have Meniere's and what it is, especially when it sounds an awful lot like manure's.)
4.) People whose idea of a vacation is one where they hike ten miles, climb three mountains, and shop for ten hours straight. To me vacation means if I want to crawl in bed and sleep the days away, or curl up on a balcony with a great view and a good book, or stay in my room the whole time, it's ok! I'm on vacation! This is my idea of vacation!
5.) Going to the movie that is suppose to start at seven, but there are thirty minutes of previews before it does.
6.) AOL's headline news videos that all open with a Metamucil commercial. I got so aggravated at this one, I even wrote Metamucil and told them I would never buy their stuff no matter how desperate I might ever get for fiber.
7.) Plants that look fine until you set them out and then they look like they are near croaking.
8.) Men who hate women. Women who hate men. Isn't this generalizing just a bit?
9.) People who figure out how the movie is going to end half way through, and then lean over and whisper it to you. Yes, he may end up being the bad guy, but let me get my money's worth on this admission price, ok?
10.) Bullies. Especially adult bullies, who know they are too old to sling insults the way they did in junior high, but they do it in subtle ways. Sneaky, sneaky, bullies.
11.) People who make out in restaurants. Get a room! Please!
12.) People who brag about themselves continuously. My ex-boss has a wife like this. If you have a cold, she has pneumonia. If you just bought a bracelet, she just bought a jewelry store.
I realize this is a sign of insecurity and I should feel empathy for her. But she just drives me nuts.

Goodbye Wanda

My mom called tonight to tell me my cousin, Wanda, died this morning. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor four months ago. She was fifty-eight.
She was actually my step-cousin but since I thought of my step-dad as more of a real dad than the one I had, I also considered her my "real" cousin. The first time I met her was when my mom and step-dad first married. I was nine years old and we had gone to his parents to tell them they had gotten married. Wanda was there. She was eighteen years old, had a twenty year old husband, and a two year old daughter. As her husband often reminded her, he "had to marry her" because she was pregnant, although the ass waited until she was six months pregnant to do so. She was a fighter, raising her daughter and later a son with a husband that was a drunk and a woman-chaser and that is a kind description! When I was in my teens, Wanda and her family lived in my neighborhood. We went to her house often and she was always looking for her husband. She was on the phone calling bars a lot trying to track him down.
As her children grew into teens, she got her GED, and managed to get through nursing school to her her RN license. Her husband was never supportive, but she was determined.
What I remember most about her, is her compassion. She always seemed to seek out the one in the group that needed encouragement, and she provided that. Many, many times it was me.
She came to my aid numerous times in conflicts with my mother in my teenage years. She always argued my side, and my mom listened to her, mostly. I cried on Wanda's shoulder more than once. She was the one I took my "boy troubles" to, and she always understood.
I guess my most vivid memory was several years ago when my step-dad was dying. She came into his hospital room, and although we thought he was comatose by that point, she leaned down and whispered in his ear. She sat there doing that for a long time, and seemed to have a lot to say to him. I couldn't hear what she said, but he looked comforted. I couldn't even look at him without breaking down into tears, but there she sat, saying all those things she wanted him to know before he died. And he did, later that day.
I haven't seen much of her through the years. Life seemed to take over and we sort of each went our own way. My family has never been much for get-togethers. I will always remember her strength, her compassion, and her spunkiness. She seemed like a wise older soul, even when she was young. She had a hard life, and it ended too soon. But she left a lot of people behind who loved her, including me.

Top Ten Reasons to Have Children

10.-- So you can learn when they are infants that although you really can't rock them to sleep, you can rock yourself to sleep while holding them, and still not drop them.
9.-- So you can experience the joy of finding them when you're sure they have been kidnapped and you've cried for an hour, and still not kill them.
8.-- So you can worry all their lives about whether they are happy, and what you did to screw them up.
7.-- So you can learn how to give them the last chicken leg, or the last bit of potato salad, and not feel hungry, but just enjoy watching them eating it.
6.-- So you can hear daily how old you are getting and how far behind the times you are.
5.-- So you can explain every year that the three hundred dollar computer monitor they want for Christmas is not possible if you expect to buy for the other twenty people on your list, too.
4.-- So you can see the way they enjoy spending time around each other at Christmas.
3.-- So you can have them tell you the changes you need to make in your life, from all their sixteen years of experience, and have them be right.
2.-- So you can experience lying awake at night until you hear their tires in the driveway.
And the number one reason.
1.-- So you can see yourself learn your capacity for crying when they to go to school for the first time, or stand up to accept an award, or get married.

Made My Day

I found a restaurant that would make me a no-salt plate! I called ahead to ask and they made me a steak, baked potato and salad with no salt. I added my own dressing I brought stashed in my purse and sprinkled Mrs. Dash over the rest, and Hey! I was set!
It was great not to have to cook! Maybe this vacation thing will actually be do-able.
We watched Napolean Dynamite tonight. It was funny!
Last night we saw The Interpreter. I didn't think the movie was that good, but I think Sean Penn is hot, so it was worth the ticket. My husband hates Sean Penn, but then, what does he know about hot men? He could leave his shoes under my bed anytime. (If my daughter reads this, cover your eyes.)
It seems like I can't find much to write about the last few days. Life has been pretty boring. But I'll take boring over a crisis anyday.

TGIF!

Well I've made it a whole week on a very low sodium diet. I've tried some very good recipes from a favorite website . My husband and son are eating the same things I cook for me. My husband has high blood pressure so it won't hurt him any. The thing I miss most is being able to eat out and enjoy some of my favorite restaurants. We are planning a trip to Panama City Beach in May. I have no idea how I'll do this on vacation! I don't want to be a real pain to the others with me. And some days I get so tired of cooking.
On the bright side, the pressure in my ear is better. After three bad days of earth spinning, it's finally stopped. I actually think I am hearing better, but that may be wishful thinking on my part. I guess I'll find out when I go back to the doctor.
It's funny, now thinking back, I've blamed dizziness on so many other things, mostly medications. I can't take this pill. It makes me feel bad, etc. etc. And I'm really surprised as how much difference this new diet has made.
The lawn people are here working in my flower beds. I can't wait to see them when they are done.
I saw the counselor this week. I stayed for almost two hours and she says we've had a major breakthrough. I sure learned a lot about myself. It's amazing the more you learn about yourself, the more things make sense.

Gilmore Girls and Same O Same O

Ok, so I'm addicted to this show. I don't know why. But if Rory gets back with Dean, I think I'll scream. I don't like Logan either. So move on. Call Marty. Do something.
Not much going on here. Just figuring out how to cook this low salt stuff, trying new recipes, and trying to nurse my dog back to health after his surgery.
My husband is doing the dishes as we speak. How about that!
This will be my shortest blog entry ever. Oh well.

Whole Day on No Salt

Not doing too badly. Was getting really tired of salads and fruit, so we went to Publix, since it's the largest grocery in our town. They had some no added salt spaghetti sauce in small jars, so I browned some extra lean ground chuck with onions and fresh mushrooms, took out some for me, put my husband's and son's aside and added Paul Newman's Sockarooni Sauce to their's. To mine I added the low salt sauce. You know, it wasn't half bad. I was pleasantly surprised. Also bought some dried figs (I LOVE figs) too, and they seem to be satisfying my sweet tooth for now.
I think I'm going through the "this can't be real" stage, thinking I'll suddenly find I can eat all my old favorite foods again. But I'm trying to ground myself and get busy finding new ways to cook.
There are a few websites dedicated to low salt cooking, and I found a grocery online where you can order about anything in a low salt variety to cook with. So...so far so good.

New Way of Eating

UPDATE: I wrote a full article about the surgery I underwent to help my Meniere's disease. You can read it here.
MY MENIERE'S SURGERY
I went to the doctor yesterday because I've been having vertigo pretty bad for the last week. I also wanted to get my hearing checked because the other night my husband said my headphones were working, but I wasn't hearing any sound from the right ear. So I went to an ENT, and he ran a lot of tests, and diagnosed it as Meniere's Disease. He said I have severe hearing loss in my right ear already. So we sat down and he was very nice and explained as much as he could to me. I'm not sure how much I heard because "NO CURE" AND "ALMOST DEAF" were the only two phrases I could think about.
It all boils down to, the only way to help this is to be proactive in the management of it. I am on a Low to No Salt Diet the rest of my life. I can't have alcohol or caffeine, and I will be on a medication most of the time for the vertigo. So I'm biting the bullet and trying to think positively about all this.
For one, I will lose weight. Eating mostly fruits and veggies will help with that. I think getting used to what I can and can't have will be the trick, and once I get used to that, I won't have to think about it so much. Right now, I'm just researching and trying to find information about what foods I can eat with no sodium. All I'm finding are the lists for "no pizza, no soups, no canned foods" etc etc. I ordered a no-salt cookbook.
I talked to my husband and son last night. My son is being very helpful about helping me research and finding snacks I could sneak into the movie theatre to eat while they had their popcorn and coke. I told them the worst thing they can do is to feel like they have to "not eat" around me. I figure if this is a lifetime change, I might as well get used to that now. And it would make me feel terrible if people didn't feel comfortable about eating certain foods around me.
Food has always been a very big part of my life! But hearing has, too! So I'll figure this out, and I'll just do it!

I Want to Run Away from Home!

My husband has an annoying habit of talking to the television. I know I've written about it before on here but it's really driving me nuts! He came home from work and we sat down to watch an Oprah show about the "Supernanny" and toddlers out of control and he talked to the people on tv the whole time.

Example: On tv a woman said:
"My kids are driving me crazy" so he shouts "Yeah, well who's fault is that??"
"I didn't want people to think I was a bad mother." so he says "Too late, lady!"

This continues throughout the tv shows and movies we watch and it drives me nuts. Yes, I've told him it bothers me. I've paused the tv and said, "Did you say something?" I've just walked out of the room in the middle of the show. Nothing seems to work. Sometimes I'm not sure he even realizes he does it. I can be in another room and hear him talking to the tv!

Soo.... I decided today to just let it go...and leave him to the tv and go take a bath. After all, we just had ceramic tile put around the whirlpool tub, and it looks really pretty. So I thought I should enjoy it and have a long bubblebath with candles! Well I get into the tub only to find out the hot water won't turn on. Evidently, the guys who put in the tile put the faucet back on wrong. So that was the end of the bubble bath. I called them and they're coming to fix it on Thursday or Friday.
I think I'm going to have to go back to work soon, or I'll end up saying something mean to my husband or taking a stick to the repairman. Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Movies, Maids and More

I found out this week that the short story I wrote that was being considered for the book coming out this fall, made it through all the cuts, and will be in the book, barring something unforseen happening between now and this fall's publication date. I will be paid for my story, will have my bio and an interview included with the story. I've been very excited about that.
Today we went to see Million Dollar Baby, which I guess everyone had already seen but us. I haven't cried that much in a movie ever and I think it was the most depressing movie I've ever seen. Maybe I'm just one of these people who thinks entertainment should have happy endings, the good guy should win, and justice should prevail. Maybe I'm just naive. But I sure was disappointed in the way the movie played out.
We're suppose to have a cleaning lady coming today. She assured me she would be here at noon. It's now 4:30 PM, and she's called twice but is not here yet. Her excuses are far fetched, and I'm getting very annoyed. I think people should tell the truth, and do what they say they will do.
You know, this venting is getting easier and easier.....I just hope I don't take it too far and become a royal you know what.....

Trust and Truth

I think my depression is definitely on the upswing. I went today OUT OF THE HOUSE and had a manicure and pedicure. I went to visit an old friend I let slip away years ago and had lunch with her. And I feel so much better!
I am doing a course by Iyanla Vanzant and this first two principles were putting trust in God and not in people, and Truth setting us free. I believe the main problems in my life were putting my trust in everyone BUT God. But the truth one I couldn't realize as being a spiritual principle that applied to me especially.
I decided to go visit my friend and apologize for not being there for her all this time and asked her forgiveness. I told her exactly why I had been "hibernating" and "alienating" myself, and telling the truth was hard because usually I make up excuses. But telling the honest truth was very liberating. So I guess the truth really does set us free. I can't wait to see what the rest of this course holds. My friend forgave me and we had such a nice time, telling each other the truth.

Dream a Little Dream for Me

I thank Amy for the inspiration for this entry. She has a fascinating blog and wrote about her dreams. Which reminded me of some of my weird dreams lately.
Last night I dreamed I was at this big party. I had brought along my dog, a cat, and my three children when they were little. It was time to go. It was dark outside and I was trying to round up the dog and cat which kept running all over the place along with the kids, and then trying to juggle all the bowls, platters, and other things I had brought with me. I finally grabbed the dog and cat and asked my son, David, to go put them in the car and come back and grab something else.
He did and with all three kids in tow and my arms full, we proceeded outside, to find this huge parking lot and no idea where we had parked. So we're walking and walking and my feet are killing me, when David reminds me he knows where the car is, since he put the animals in it. I said why didn't you tell me??? So we backtrack a long way to the car, and as we get near it, I see the back door is open and a police cruiser is sitting in front of it with the lights on. I get nearer to find they have removed my pets and sent them to the animal control for being left alone in a vehicle, and they are furious with me. I'm overwhelmed with trying to do everything and scared I'm in trouble and afraid I won't ever get my pets back. The kids are crying and the dream ends. I think this one has to do with my feeling that no matter how much I've tried to juggle things in my life and still meet obligations, I end up disappointing everyone.
The next dream I have a lot is walking on very unstable staircases in an old house and them collapsing with me on them and falling falling falling. I did fall down a staircase as a child and have had a lifelong anxiety about going down steps. However, I think this one means that I'm afraid of the bottom always falling out of my plans.
Well so much for dreams! Hope you have some happy ones!

Epiphany or Light Bulb Moment

I was re-reading some of my blog entries, and suddenly it hit me. Do you ever have that kind of moment like, "Why didn't I see this before?" Well, I realized today I have a chronic case of people-pleasing. I've lived my life saying it doesn't matter what other people think. But then I'm afraid to tell my husband that I want a maid to come clean. I'm afraid to tell other people the truth for fear of hurting feelings. I'm afraid to not go to things because of what people will say about me.
I guess realizing there is a major problem is the first step to fixing it. So as of today, readers, (if I have any), I vow to live the last part of my life not worrying about pleasing other people, being my true self, and speaking the truth with love.
I also vow to stop taking other's criticism to heart. Their opinions are, after all, THEIR opinions. They don't have to be mine, unless I feel they are true for me.
I know this won't be an easy thing to overcome. But starting today, I'm sure going to at least try to be more aware of doing it.

Diary of a Mad Housewife

I have a friend I used to work with, who cleans houses on the side. When I was working, I used to have her come clean my house sometimes. I've had different cleaning ladies through the years, but not many really did a good job. Not so with this one. She's awesome. For example, she sweeps the kitchen, mops it, runs new mopping solution and then mops again. Then after the floor dries, she sweeps it again. So I admit that's a little excessive from what I would do, but it results in the absolutely cleanest house you've ever seen when she's finished.
Well I'm not working now, so I started thinking about having her come, not because I can't do it myself, because I do. But because NO ONE, not even me, can get it as clean as her, and all of it done AT THE SAME TIME. You know how great it is to have the whole house spotless at the same time. At least it is GREAT to me.
I have some money of my own that I don't have to ask my husband for. And I decided I'd like to spend it having her clean the house. So I called, and the good news is she's coming to clean. But the bad news is, the only day she had free was next Saturday. My husband and son are home on Saturdays, which meant I had to come clean to my husband about calling her. This was very hard for me. I'm not sure why. I guess I worried what he would think I did all day, if I needed a cleaning lady to come.
But I overcame all that, and told him. He said, "That's a good idea to have her come clean. I've noticed things aren't quite as clean as they used to be. There's quite a bit of dust on the computer desk, and the shower stall needs a good cleaning." All of this was said as we were walking across the parking lot going into WalMart. So he said it was fine for her to come. That is what I wanted. But then I was devastated that he thought I wasn't doing a good job as a wife on my housecleaning. So I walked through WalMart feeling TERRIBLE. Of course, I didn't say anything to him about it. After all, I got what I wanted.
Today, I mentioned again to my son, in front of my husband, that the cleaning lady is coming next weekend, so he needs to get his room straightened up before she comes so she can get in there and vacuum, dust etc. My son said, "I don't know why you don't have her come all the time. Why do something yourself you can pay someone else to do?" Geez, I love that kid.
So the cleaning lady is coming. I feel like a failure as a wife. And I've got one week to clean out drawers and toss the clutter and get ready for a brand spanking clean house when she comes.