Calling All Decorators or WannaBees

This is my living room. It's long, it's narrow. It has a corner fireplace. On the north wall is a doorway to the kitchen. On the west wall is a doorway to the hall and an entertainment center with our TV, which can't be moved (cable hookups there). On the south wall is the front door and a picture window. We mostly use the room for TV or reading.

Is there any way to arrange furniture in this room?? I'd love your suggestions. I have a love seat, two recliners, two smaller chairs, a rectangular coffee table, two rectangular end tables and a bookcase that could be used as a sofa table. I could use some/all/none of that furniture in there. I also have large area rugs that could be used.

So do any of you have any ideas for me?

What PMS stands for....Or I'm Glad to be in Menopause

I remember well the days of PMS.
What PMS stands for:

13 Things PMS Stands For:


1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Tossing This and This and This and That

It's been a lazy weekend. We only left the house to buy groceries and go to a movie. We saw The Abandoned, and it was really scary/freaky. We wanted to see Astronaut Farmer but there was not a matinee of it, and my son said he read that it sucked. ha.

We were suppose to have some bad storms through here last night, but other than part of the subdivision fence blowing down, I didn't see any damage. My son backed my husband's car out of the garage and put that new truck in there, just in case of hail, and also so it wouldn't get wet after he had just washed it. :-)

I'm into this simplifying my life kick right now. Well, I have been for awhile. My mom and grandmother never had comforters, dust ruffles and pillow shams. They always bought bedspreads that hung to the floor. I was thinking about it the other day, and after taking time every night to take all the pillows off and put them somewhere the dogs won't get on them, and putting all the pillows back on the next morning, and changing sheets without the dust ruffles getting tucked in, too....I decided my mom may have been on to something. I ordered me two bedspreads from Amazon, and I'm going to donate my comforters and shams to my friend, Dawn.

I also took the "commode cover" and rug around it off, washed them, and put them in her pile too, since I saw on a tv decorating show how outdated that was.....Showing my age here.
I've also been clearing my trinkets, figurines, etc, off the tables. My daughter's friend, Melissa has a very nice non-cluttered home, and my daughter took pictures of her entertainment center the other day when she was visiting. Melissa has like one large thing on each shelf, not all the little junk like mine. Her's looked a lot easier to clean, too. So I'm tossing some of that stuff.
Sooner or later I figure I'll get this place down to being able to clean it a lot easier. At least that's what I'm working on. Yes, I realize that thinking about my housework so much means I probably need a get a life, but right now this is it. :-)

My daughter is suppose to call about the amnio tomorrow. I'll let you all know what we find out, although I just feel like if there was something else wrong, they would have noticed it on the ultrasound. Other people who have babies with this say they saw heart defects or brain defects and then found it on the amnio to be a chromosome problem. Our baby had nothing else that they saw but the hernia.

Just More Stuff

I've worked so hard the last few weeks on the house that this week I've taken a break and have just been reading and catching up with friends on the phone. My daughter and her baby are on my mind a lot and I am praying for a miracle in that situation. Together with two friends of mine, we are planning her a baby shower in April. I rented the clubhouse in our subdivision because it will have more room than this townhouse. We still haven't heard on the results from her amniocentesis but I think it will be fine.

Someone did something really nice for us this week, and I wanted to share. I bought her two outfits for the baby from a seller on Ebay that was selling some new things. I still hadn't gotten an invoice from her last week when I had to go out of town for my daughter's ultrasound, so I wrote a short note explaining the situation and told her I would pay her as soon as I returned, which I did.

She wrote me back and said that she was going to get together a "few more things for the baby" and how she was praying and believing God would take care of this baby. Yesterday I got this huge box filled with baby clothes and also a Precious Moments doll for baby Claire. She doesn't even know us but she reached out and was so kind and generous. She said she knew God did miracles because he had done one when she had her baby.

I watched Gray's Anatomy tonight and won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet but it was sure a tear jerker. I think I went through half a box of Kleenex, over a tv show! That is one of my favorite shows. I'm still hanging in there with Lost, even though I threaten to stop watching it weekly.

My daughter has reunited with her dad, and although that was a big deal for me and I resented him so much two weeks ago when all this came down, now it doesn't seem like anything. I just want my grandbaby to be ok. I guess other things become really insignificant when you face something big.

Stinking Thinking

I'm still seeing the counselor every week. Yesterday I had a break-through, epiphany, whatever you want to call it. I figured out that, for as long as I can remember, when I find myself in any situation, my thought process is to immediately find out what the "rules" are, and then to follow them so I will feel good about myself or else be thought well of by others. In school, it was easy to know the rules, which assignments were to be completed, and I knew if I did them and put forth my best effort, the teacher would be proud of me. I needed that attention, so I tried to be perfect.
Then in relationships, I immediately tried to figure out what the other person expected, what they thought of as the "have-to-have's" from their partner, and I tried to be that.

When I stopped working, I evaluated my situation and decided that now I'm a homemaker, and a good homemaker has to X, Y, Z, etc. Then if I didn't get those things accomplished, I felt bad, unworthy, useless. When I began journaling, I was afraid to write anything in that pretty new book because what if I messed it up and "didn't do it right." What was the correct way to journal?

I avoid social situations because I don't know what the rules are to interact with people I don't know. How can I do that if I don't know what they expect? If I don't say the things that would make them think I'm a good conversationalist, what will they think of me?

So I've always known I needed structure to feel safe and secure. When things are unorganized or I don't know what is expected, I want to retreat from that. Now I know it's because I have lived my life with 1) figure out the rules. 2) follow them ALL and 3) feel good about me or 4) don't do them all or don't do them right and feel rotten.

I used to work for one hospice where I started with a defined job description. I knew exactly what things I was responsible for, I made a plan to do them all correctly, and I did that for years. Then I changed jobs and was working for a newly acquired company where everyone was confused on what the new job roles were, so no one knew how to advise me, and I was to "wing it" and just "do what you can" until further instructions came, which took several weeks. I hated working there, because how could I feel good about myself if I never knew what the rules were and whether or not I met them?

I know I'm going on and on about this, but this was like this HUGE lightbulb DUH! moment for me when I finally GOT this.

I remember once the therapist asked me why I felt I had to always be DOING something to be ok. Why wasn't I still ok even if I spent a whole day goofing off at home, playing at doing crafts, or something and didn't DO anything "valuable." I had no idea what the heck she meant? If I don't accomplish anything useful to others, then I'm not a good wife or mother or whatever. Geez, why didn't she get that? ha.

So...now that I know I do this, I'm going to have to become more aware of that when I do it. She thinks I will come to accept myself and feel ok just being me, without having to DO anything specific to earn being an acceptable person. I have put this kind of pressure on myself always.

This is a form of legalism, and probably why I was always attracted most to churches that had rigid rules. Then I knew what I had to do to be a "good" Christian that God could be proud of. Eventually I'd figure out I never was able to keep all the rules, (because I kept finding out about new ones these people listed as "a good Christian does this, too") or I failed at the ones I tried. So I'd leave that church and start over somewhere that I might be able to do it right. (After all, God can't love me if I don't do it right.)

I asked her how I change this, and she said it's a process. I wanted to know what the steps of the process were, and she refused to give me a list to follow so I'd know if I was making sufficient progress at the right times to do this. Sigh.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

My daughter and son-in-law came last night to spend the night. I had made a pot roast with potatoes and carrots and we had dinner in front of the tv. (We're casual folks!) Then today we went shopping at BabysRUs and Target. They have a gift registry at both places and I thought it was neat how they gave them a scanner and when they found something they wanted to add- they just pointed the scanner and zap! It's on their registry!

Things have changed so much since I had my babies. When I used to shop before the babies came, I never had any idea what I was going to have..so most stores stocked a lot of mint green, yellow, and white. Well most mommies these days know way ahead of time and the store is mostly divided into boy clothes and girl clothes. I immediately went for the pink, pink, and more pink...After all, baby Claire is a girl!

My daughter finally said, "Enough pink! Buy some other colors!" So I reluctantly obliged and bought white with pink flowers...ha. Isn't that a good compromise! I bought several packs of baby clothes hangers, two sleepers, and some diapers. My husband got in on the fun and bought all of our baby-proofing equipment like safety plugs for the outlets and cabinet locks. He can't wait to be a grandpa.


I'm planning a baby shower for them in April, and my friend, Dawn, is going to be the co-hostess. I found the cutest three tiered cakes made out of diapers and baby things like rattles and pacifiers. How cute an idea is that!

I think the shopping cheered us all up. We go to see the pediatric surgeon on March 8th, and until then, we are just waiting and searching the internet for all we can find about Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. I read until I can't stand it anymore, as one article will be bleak, the next reassuring, and I have no idea how old the information I'm reading is.

I went and got my hair cut short, and I'm going to let it go silver, since it's determined to do that anyway. Then it will be much easier and faster to deal with. I plan to be with my daughter and her baby as much as possible during the baby's hospitalization and surgery. We've read that baby girls tend to do better than baby boys. One woman described it as the boys being lazy and the girls are such fighters. That sounds about right considering my three kids.

The picture above is of a sweater I ordered the baby on Ebay, and also some newborn hospital caps I had personalized with "Claire" on them. I also bought a cap from Jessica and she is going to make it for the baby.

We tend to walk through life taking so much for granted. Women figure they will quickly get pregnant, but many have infertility problems. For the ones who do get pregnant, they figure all will be well. Most of the time it is. But when it's not, and the baby has problems, it sure seems to hit you hard.

I know in my own case, it's brought me a lot closer to my faith. Faith in God, faith in my family, faith in doctors and hospital and new technology. About all you can do in a situation like this is to pray, hope, and keep the faith. And in between all that, do a lot of shopping for little pink clothes......

Happy Valentine's Day

My husband woke me up with a velvet heart-shaped box of chocolates this morning. I told him he couldn't have his valentine surprise until tonight. He wanted to know why not and I told him, "Because."

I decided instead of some hokey present, I'd do something for him he really likes (no, not that, get your mind out of the gutter. ha.) I am making his favorite dinner...boiled shrimp with cocktail sauce, baked potatoes, salad, and Red Velvet Cake for dessert. He has no idea. We've been following the e-mealz plan for our meals and grocery shopping, and by looking at today's menu on it, he thinks we are having some kind of chicken, so he'll be surprised.

My daughter is worried about her baby. I'm worried about my daughter (and son-in-law). I still feel peace that the baby will ultimately be fine. I am angry that my daughter can't just waddle through a normal pregnancy and gripe about her back hurting and having to pee all the time, and just enjoy all of it. This is like a cloud that moved over, and we're looking for the sunshine through it. That baby will be our sunshine, and I may just nickname her that when I get to hold her.
When my daughter was little, I used to sing her "Sunshine on my Shoulders" by John Denver. There is a part of that song that goes like this:

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I'd tell a tale sure to make you smile
If I had a wish that I could wish for you
I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while

I know that trusting God is all we can do right now, that he'll take care of the baby and give strength, hope and sunshine to my daughter and her husband when she needs it. I also need him to do a little favor for me. I need him to put a rush on the results of my allergy shots I'm taking to get over being allergic to their cat, so I can go down to be with her for all her appointments and then after the baby comes. I take the shots weekly and it's usually a very slow process. I want to be there to support them both.

It's true that when something like this happens to you, it makes your priorities line up very quickly, and the little things that seemed so important just don't seem to matter at all anymore. I am looking forward to having that cute baby home next Valentine's Day and I'll sing her Sunshine on My Shoulders just like I did with my baby girl.

Our Wee Little Angel

My husband and I went with my daughter and son-in-law today to visit the high risk pregnancy clinic, and the doctor there confirmed that our baby has CDH (congenital diaphramatic hernia), which means her little diaphragm has a hole in it that will have to be repaired after her birth. We had all been praying/hoping/pleading that it would not be anything except the way the baby had been laying for the ultrasound before this one.
I had been so worried all week, and have had this on my mind constantly. Yesterday my friend brought over a DVD she wanted me to watch called Facing the Giants, and my husband and I watched it last night. It was about fear vs. faith and trusting God through the hard times. Before I went to bed, I prayed that God would take care of my daughter and her baby, but I was still upset/worried/scared.
We got up this morning at 3AM to travel to her city to go with her for the test. When I woke up, I had such peace about the whole thing, and I told my husband in the car that the baby does have it, and we have a rocky road ahead of us, but the baby is going to be fine. I just felt that so strongly.I still do.
Then after we got the news when I was sitting there talking with my daughter about the negative prognosis they had given me at HER birth, and how she turned out fine, I had an image that someday, she will be telling her daughter the same thing. I just know she will. Our baby is going to come through this like a little trooper, and Granny will be there to love her and spoil her every day of her life.
So today, the hardest part for me was just seeing the emotions on my daughter's face, and knowing she was scared and I couldn't fix it.
On the movie, it said that the Bible says over 350 times, "Be not afraid." If it wasn't so important for us to remember that, God wouldn't have reminded us that many times. (He knows I'm hard headed.)
So our tiny Claire Elizabeth (my Claire Bear) is going to be fine. And I'll be posting pictures of her on here in the not too distant future.

The Golden Rule, Dr. Phil and Oprah

If you read my blog and not my daughter's, I have news! My soon-to-be grandbaby is a girl! I tried to tell them this from the beginning, but as usual, no one listens to me. ha.

The lady who did her ultrasound thought the baby's heart and stomach looked too close together, and is sending her for more tests. She also said it could just be the way the baby is lying, and people I've talked to since seem to think that is a pretty common thing. But still, we will be worried until we actually get things checked out. My husband took off work and he and I are going to go down there and be with her and hubby when she has the tests on Tuesday.

We have several tv shows we watch a lot. One of them is "My Name is Earl," although I think it was probably a better show at first than it has been lately. However, Thursday night, they did have one funny line. Randy, the brother, was trying to convince a group of people that he wasn't prejudiced against black people. He said, "I like black people. I have black friends! I even like Oprah when she's acting black."

Which confirms my opinion that Oprah has tried to appeal to her mostly white, suburban female audience for so long, she's become more white than black. She's also become a rich snob, which rich people don't have to be. No, they make a choice...I'm rich now...Should I be a snob? No, I can be a nice person and rich. I guess Oprah just bought too many Burberry purses and Uggs to be down-to-earth anymore... I read where she is on the outs with Dr. Phil, because he hasn't been "sufficiently grateful" since she gave him his fame on her show. "Sufficiently grateful" just means he hasn't kissed her butt. You go, Dr. Phil.

I do watch Dr. Phil, even though many days he makes me so mad. Like when he was filming one of those backstage interviews, walked into the room he wanted to use, and found it was occupied with camera men. Instead of saying, "Hey, ya'll. (He's Southern, like me.) I'd like to use this room. Would you please leave us alone," he said, "Get OUT. Get OUT NOW." I guess he might have gotten too famous to be nice anymore either.

Not too long ago, he had a guy on there who had made videos of beating up homeless people. The Doc acted so high and mighty how he wasn't going to give air time to this guy so he could exploit people. I did notice though, the show aired...Who's exploiting who? I guess when it all comes down to it, my old employer was right about the Golden Rule...He who has the gold makes the rule.

Keepin' On Truckin'

It's been a good week. I've gotten so much done in the house. I feel like one of those sidetracked home executive sisters that is finally digging my way out of the clutter. I have my entire dining room table piled as full as it will go (and it still has the leaf in it from Christmas) and I'm waiting on my friend to come get this stuff. If she doesn't get here before my husband does, he will start going through it and putting it back. So I hope she comes soon.

I went Saturday with my son to buy a new truck. He did an internship and they hired him after graduation, so he can finally replace his old car. It's been a good car that saw him through all his college years, but it's got 130K miles on it, and he has been wanting a truck a long time. He got a dark red Toyota Tacoma and it's PURTY. He's so excited over it, and I'm so happy for him. He picked it up last night and sat out there in it a long time, looking it over. He says he's looking for an apartment, so I don't expect him to be here much longer. I actually offered for him to live upstairs and pay us some rent, but he assures me it's TIME for him to move out.

I saw the counselor yesterday, and told her how I feel such sympathy for people when others are putting them down or treating them badly. Even if they are bad people and deserved it. She said it's because I identify with the "victim role." I'm not sure I understand exactly what she meant, but I figure it means that since I've allowed myself to be victimized by crazy men and others during my life, I sort of got used to it, and failed to step up and set boundaries and take care of me....thus I continue as the "victim."

See, I even felt sorry for Sadaam Hussien, which tells you something right there.... Anyway, I asked her how I stop doing this, and she said me coming to therapy is a good start. She said even though I may not realize it, I have changed so much in the time I've been seeing her. I told her I realize it in a lot of ways. I'm healthier emotionally now, and I don't think I'd ever let myself be treated by men like I've allowed in the past. Being older helps, too.

Tomorrow we go to see the doctor in the town where my daughter lives, to get a recheck on my eye surgery. We are going to spend the afternoon with her, and then meet her husband later so we can all have dinner together. I'm really looking forward to it. I haven't seen her since Christmas, and even though she sends me updated "belly" pictures, I want to see her. I miss her a lot.

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

I woke up Thursday and we had our first snow this year! My husband, who used to live in Saint Louis, said it doesn't qualify as SNOW, since it could technically have been ice, but it was white and on the rooftops and yard, even though it was only an 1/8 of a inch thick. Well, Alabama is not prepared for snow, so it meant my husband and son both got to go into work with a two hour delay. Didn't think I was ever going to get them out of here.....
It's a good thing I decided to start organizing around here. One place I wanted to tackle was under the kitchen sink, where I store all my cleaning junk. I started pulling stuff out and figured out I had a puddle about an inch high under there, and from the way the wood looked, it had been leaking awhile. So $90 later, the leak is fixed. I asked my friend if she wanted the job of painting under there (the friend who is going through the divorce. She's extremely handy at house stuff) and she said yes, so yesterday she came over and painted and today I have to put liner and then pile everything back under there.
My daughter and son-in-law are coming over today. I wanted to show her all the things I'd gotten done in the house since she was here last, and it won't impress her much with cleaning supplies piled on every surface in the kitchen. I'm just glad I looked under there. My daughter is meeting her father (using the term loosely) tonight, but I don't want to think about it. I'll think about it tomorrow, Miss Scarlett, thank you very much.
I went for an ultrasound yesterday at the hospital, just a part of the tests the doctor wanted. What was weird was the ultrasound tech wanted to talk the whole time, and I listened with goop on my stomach while she told me about her two sons and that they are not married, and how she doesn't think she will EVER have grandchildren, but one is sort of serious with this girl, so there could be some hope, but she doesn't know for sure, and even if they get together, they may not have kids, and she would be devastated, and blah blah blah. All the time throwing in, "Take a deep breath, hold it. Ok, breathe...Take a deep breath, hold it, breathe..." I wanted to take a deep breath, hold it, and then exhale.. ..Shuttttt Uppppp Pleasssseeee. I guess I'm not a very friendly person with my belly exposed, gooped, lying in a weird position....wait a minute...that sounds like something vaguely familiar.....

How Creepy!

My oldest son is a big horror movie fan, so last week when his company sent him to Virginia for training, he took that opportunity to see the sites...the sites HE wanted to see. Of course, he saw the White House, Washington Monument, Lincolns Memorial.....and THE EXORCIST STAIRCASE. He hunted down the actual stairs used in filming the movie.


Then he started back to the subway station. It's almost midnight by then, because he had to do his sightseeing at night due to his training classes all day. He was walking back, and was about a block from the subway station when he saw THIS.


He freaked out. He thought, IS IT A BODY? Did someone dump a BODY here? So, instead of calling the police, he snapped a picture and ran like hell. That's my boy....