Strange but True. I Swear!

I've heard it said that "Northern" fairy tales begin "Once upon a time..." while Southern ones begin "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this shit..."
Well.. Ya'll ain't gonna believe this shit. My cleaning lady had a heart attack while she was cleaning my house!!!! (I'm trying not to take it personally..)
I had commented to Cathy that it was strange that this woman had always done a good job but this week when I got home, it looked like she had done a half-assed job. I was planning to remind her next time of what I wanted done.
Well she called tonight and said while she was here, she started feeling sick, and she laid down on my couch. Finally she decided that she wasn't getting any better, and had just better quit and go home. When she got to her house (after driving there) she was too weak to get out of her car. She said she called 911 and ended up at the hospital where they discovered she'd had a HEART ATTACK. She's home now and slowly recovering.
I keep following my husband around saying, "Gosh, do you think our house was so bad that she had a heart attack over it?"

Book Club Anyone?

I remember Alaskan Amy's blog entry about not getting accepted by her local book club because she wasn't "invited". I know she loves to read. I know Cathy does. Freebird. Plumbtuckered. And me! So I thought why don't we start a reading group? Through a blog? Anyone else who wanted to participate can through comments. What do you think girls? If you all like the idea, then lets pick a book and start reading! Any suggestions?
Speaking of books, the link on the sidebar is for "Letters to My Teacher" the book my next story comes out in that will be available in March. (No I'm not suggesting it for a reading group. We need a great NOVEL. Just thought I'd give ya'll the link to it. )
But someone suggest a novel. Everyone suggest a few and we can vote on them. Or something!

Christmas in Dixie

My step-daughter and her husband came for Christmas. I saw the Christmas pictures my daughter took and emailed me. I look just like Porky Pig. I'm depressed.
My friends are all reporting crappy Christmas events from their homes, too. I say we stay home next year, boycott shopping, eat salad, and watch Judge Judy reruns. Whatdayasay?
I did get a very very nice surprise. The new dulcimer I ordered came EXPRESS mail the day before Christmas. It's beautiful, sounds great and I love it.
So I'll just hide my Porky self away, play my dulcimer, and wish we could all go to Cracker Barrel for Christmas next year.

Merry Christmas!

Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and enjoy the turkey, ham, mistletoe, lights, tinsel, gift giving, holly, poinsettas, long lines at Walmart, egg nog, Christmas carols, Santa, Rudolph, and all the elves! And remember:
Friends are God's way of apologizing for our families!

Carols Sung by the FIRE!

My friend I mentioned who was getting divorced had a fire in her home this week. Now she can't live in it until she has a lot of electrical work done, so the Red Cross is putting up her and the kids in a motel. She is suspicious the soon to be ex-husband started it, thinking it would 1) keep her from getting the house in the divorce 2) get insurance money 3) make her life harder. Of course, that's only a suspicion.
She and I had a discussion the other day about finances. I told her I learned after my divorce to live on very little, while she said she learned that in her marriage. She's feeding a very large family on very little grocery money, by shopping sales, buying in bulk, using less meat in her dishes, and clipping coupons. I told her I can make about a million dishes out of hamburger, and have been known to feed my kids mac and cheese for dinner. I don't think it's a bad thing to have to learn to live on very little. I know I can if I ever have to again. She said that's the least thing she's concerned about. My husband and I live on about 40% of his income, and sock the rest away in his retirement account. Of course, we are lucky not to have many bills so we can do that. Still Christmas is hard on everyone. My daughter mentioned us all drawing names next year and I think that's a great idea.
Tomorrow my mother-in-law comes. I went out and bought a new bedspread and curtains for her room, from a great sale at brylanehome online. She'll be here until the 3rd of January. We get along fine.
I didn't get my new dulcimer yet that I ordered some time back. The guy said he thought he would have it to me by Christmas but it's getting close and no dulcimer.
We are planning a cruise in April out of Mobile to Mexico. This is going to be our three year anniversary present to each other. This time out we managed to get a suite instead of a teeny tiny room like we had last time. He got a military discount from Carnival. Anyone who served at least 2 yrs and had an honorable discharge gets the discount, so he qualified. I'm really looking forward to our getting away by ourselves.
My middle son is having headaches and nausea some days on awakening. He's in between insurance right now, so he's trying to put off going to the doctor. They get better after he's up awhile and this happens like twice a week. I wonder if it's migranes, as I have had them in the past and I think my daughter had one recently. I just wish he'd go to the doctor. As a mother, I imagine the worst.
Well that's about all the thoughts for now. I hope all my blog friends have a wonderful Christmas if I don't get to write before then.

Biggest Fan

Ok, so I've got a thing for Sean Penn. Never made a secret of it on this blog. I see all his movies. He's my favorite even above DeNiro, and DeNiro is hard to beat in my book. My husband doesn't care for Sean Penn, because of his political views. My crush is not on Sean Penn's political views, but on him as an actor. I couldn't care less about his personal life.
I guess I first took notice of him in "I Am Sam" with Dakota Fanning. I thought, God, that guy is an amazing actor. He even beat out Dustin Hoffman in Rainman in his portrayal of a mentally challenged person. Then my next favorite movie of his was Mystic River. I don't think you could put any person in the scene with the police at his daughter's crime scene and get acting like Sean Penn gave. He was awesome.
So I think he's an incredible actor. But the truth is, I also think he's hot. Not a lot of people agree with me, among my friends. I guess they just don't see it like I do. But you can't deny that in this picture, he's hot. I wouldn't throw him out of bed for eating crackers. Uh huh. No way.

The Elves are Busy

Well I saw my sister and brother-in-law last night. It was strange and awkward. After twelve years, conversation doesn't come easy. I made the mistake of hugging them when I got there, or attempting to, and their reaction reminded me that my side of the family has never been very huggy. Wrong move. After figuring that out, we busied ourselves with discussing the menu, and then comes the part where you have to talk when you wait on the food. Thankfully, my mom filled most of that time. Then the food came and we couldn't talk and eat at the same time. ha. Then time to go. All in all it went.......weird.
Today I went to my husband's office Christmas party. Huge get together, always crowded, loud, and hot (temperature wise). This year was no exception. However, the music, even loud, was good. I heard songs I hadn't heard in thirty years, some my hubby had never heard (Peter, Paul and Mary's "If I Had a Hammer"). After we finally escaped from the party, I talked him into taking me by this bead store I found in an older section of Huntsville. It's in an old house and they have beads that are very unique. I spent my Christmas money from my mom on beads. Got some jasper ones that are gorgeous colors.
Life here is pretty boring right now. All our shopping is done.
My son Chris (aka Jason Cage) has a new website up called DivorceKevin.com and it's drawn a lot of attention. He was interviewed for MTV the other day, and is in US Weekly, Star and USA Today. It's a website dedicated to getting Brittney Spears to divorce Kevin. I told him when he gets rich and famous not to forget his old mom who sacrificed for him all these years,, and gave birth to him, and walked to school, barefoot, ten miles, in the snow, uphill, both ways....

I Cut My Hair

Well, I don't know what overcame me today, after all I had said about letting my hair grow out, but I decided to cut it. I didn't tell my husband (want to see if he'll notice when he gets home), but I really think I like it. I know it feels so much better. I tried to take these pictures of myself with my own camera phone, so please excuse the weirdness of the angles.
Tonight is a big night folks. The sister and brother-in-law I haven't heard from in twelve years are meeting my husband, me, and my mom for dinner at a local restaurant. I feel like I'm going on a blind date. I've tried to figure out what my hope is for tonight, whats I want to happen, the worst that could happen, etc. I really hope we can connect on some level and actually get to know each other as adults. The worst is that it won't happen, but I figure life will just go on like it has for the last twelve years, and I'll be disappointed, but not upset over it. Wish me luck.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: From the movie, Flawless:
First guy: See there! I'm not nearly as stupid as you think I am!
Second guy: No, no one could be as stupid as I think you are.

In Memory of Rachel Wall

Dear Rachel,
It was twenty-two years ago this Christmas when you took your own life. Every year I think of you and the times we spent together. You were my best friend.
Remember how we met at the doctor's office? Out in the waiting room? I was pregnant and so were you and that doctor was delayed, so we began to talk. I was so isolated at home with a young toddler (and no car) and I didn't have any friends. You and I hit it off instantly. The next day you invited me to come to your house for lunch and you came to pick me up. Remember you had sat up the night before and crocheted me a baby blanket. It was beautiful.
My daughter and your son were the same age, and they became instant pals. Then later, we both had baby boys to add to the mix.
Remember the Halloween when I stayed there and watched the babies while you took our little ones out for trick or treat? My daughter was four then, and she got so mad because she didn't like her costume I had rigged up at the last minute, a Holly Hobbie flannel gown and pigtails. You said she stood there with her little hand on her hip and said, "I can't believe my mother dressed me in this hot gown! You said she sounded like she was a twenty year old, and you laughed every time you told that story.
We exchanged recipes, had many lunches over egg salad sandwiches because we were short on groceries, but always had so much fun. We talked about our husbands and had some good laughs at their expense. You were like the sister I never had. And I loved you like my sister.
Then I got pregnant with baby number three, and it was a long hot summer. You had a nephew come to stay the summer with you, and you were very busy with the children, so we didn't talk as often. One day I called you and asked you to go to a craft class with me and you said you didn't really feel like going out. I begged and you finally agreed to go. I knew that day something was wrong. You seemed so quiet, so withdrawn. Later we started across the parking lot to our car and I spotted a lady from your church, and I waved at her. She walked over and talked to you for a minute, and you got so mad at me for doing that. You said you didn't want to have to talk to her. I didn't understand.
You told me one day you were thinking of leaving your husband. I said, " Why? What did he do?" You said, "That's just it. He hasn't done anything. If he drank, or ran around, I'd have an excuse to leave. He doesn't do any of that. But I truly believe if he had someone here to cook for him and sleep with him, he wouldn't notice if it was me or someone else." I asked where you would go, and you said you had a girlfriend in the town where you went to college who was willing to let you crash at her apt for awhile. I asked about your children and you said you were not planning to take them. I told you that you had to think about them, and what your leaving would do to them. How much everyone would miss you. You just sighed. I'll never forget the way that sigh sounded.
Then Christmas was coming and you began to decorate and shop and I thought you were better. I didn't know then what depression really was, but looking back you had severe depression. After Christmas, you sent your boys home with your mom with the excuse that you needed a few days to get the house back in order from all the Christmas rush. You came by my apt and brought a box. In it was everything I had ever loaned you. I had an uneasy feeling and asked why you were bringing back all that junk. You said you were just cleaning out closets and decluttering. I believed you.
The next day you got up, cleaned your house, bought groceries, took your husband lunch, and came home and went into the garage, closed the garage door, got in the car, and started it. That's where they found you hours later. By then you were gone. They called me later that night. My husband answered the phone and I knew from his responses what had happened. I was in shock and so sad to lose you. I felt it was senseless. I cried for you. I cried for your children. I cried for me losing my friend. You were only thirty years old.
A few days later, I put an ad in the newspaper personal ads in remembrance. It had a saying you had found on a cross-stitch pattern you liked. It said, "What made us friends in the long ago, when we first met? Well I think I know. The best in me, and the best in you, hailed each other, because we knew, that always and always since life began, our being friends was part of God's plan." And it was. I miss you Rachel.

Conquer That Clutter!

Ok, so I admit I am a little anal about the house. My daughter will be happy to verify that for you. I can handle having high blood pressure, natural disasters, workplace situations, but my house can reduce me to tears very quickly. It's getting to the tears point.
I'm a "neatie" and my husband is a "collector". I throw away, he saves. I toss, he retrieves. You get the idea. We've been married almost three years. Lately, I've been having the idea that the only way to get out from under this mess is to move, so I know it's getting desperate. I decided this week I have to get started. I got some boxes and garbage bags. Then I asked him, "If I make a pile in the middle of each room, will you load it up when you get home from work and take it to the thrift store to donate?" He agreed. Balls back in my court now.
Christmas is looming. I've been home for work for several weeks and still I'm not making any progress getting this done. My mother-in-law will be here for two weeks beginning on the 21st. I just have to get this done folks.
Then I realize if I get it done, I am going to have to train him to not bring stuff home. I think he's starting to understand how big of a deal this is to me. He picked up a photo storage box the other day at a store we were in. Nice cherry wood. Pretty. He said, "Do you like this?" I said, "Sure its nice. Who do you want to give it to?" He said, "Well, I was thinking of getting it for us." To which I replied, "And put it where? We have NO WHERE TO PUT ANYTHING ELSE."
So am I being a bitch? Probably. Likely. Am I the only woman this drives nuts?

Cross Eyed Vision

Developing your vision? Setting goals? Most people, even if they don't officially make a list of future goals, at least have some idea of the direction they want their life to take. This is much easier to do when you're young, because if it doesn't take the road you plan, there are so many other avenues available. At birth, all roads are open. As we mature, we close some roads and some close by themselves. For instance, I'll never be a figure skater. I went skating once, stood up, immediately fell down, and broke my wrist in three places. No, figure skating is not for me. I'll never be a movie star. I have strabismus occasionally, of which I am self-conscious, and I'd be too afraid of someone getting a picture of me with one eye wandering. I'll never be a great singer. Just don't have the pipes for it. And some doors I closed for myself.
However, there are still many things open to me. The problem comes in deciding what I want to do. I think my biggest problem is procrastination. I'd rather think about doing something than actually do it. Anyway, if you're wondering where all this talk came from, I watch Starting Over and Iyanla Vanzant, the famous life coach says you have to "define your vision for yourself."
My vision for myself. Hm.. I want to watch my kids live happy lives. I want to be a life-long learner. I want to express my creativity in whatever way strikes me that day, painting, crafts, writing. I want to be a generous, giving person. I want financial security and the means to be able to travel, try new foods, experience new things. I want to stop worrying so much about the past and start looking toward the future and enjoying the second half of my life.
So I guess I do have somewhat of a vision statement. So.....where do you see yourself being in YOUR life ten years from now ?
My quote of the day, "Think of all the women on the Titanic who passed on the dessert cart."

Kill the Kid and Pass the Popcorn

My son's girlfriend had an interesting experience. She's a working single mom with an eight year old, and has a hard time keeping housing in the area she has to stay in to be near the ex for their joint custody arrangement. Anytime she doesn't play by the ex's "rules" he threatens to sue her for sole custody on the basis that she doesn't provide a stable home environment because she moves so much. Well she had a good solid living arrangement with a lady who let her rent two bedrooms in her home. This worked a long time until the lady decided she was getting married, and her "boarder" had to go before the new husband moved in. So Son's girlfriend started looking. Evidently some past credit problems made it impossible for her to rent an apt. (Apts are at a premium there and they can be very picky), so my son started looking on some of the websites of people advertising for a roommate. He found a lady in her area, and she went to see her. She said the lady seemed a little quirky, (her dogs wear diapers) but otherwise nice and she was desperate to find someplace to stay. Well two weeks into it, the lady comes into her room at 2 in the morning and starts yelling at her for not being up to go to work, which made no sense to her because she doesn't work in the middle of the night. This continued several times, so Son's girlfriend decided to sit down and talk to the lady. She said I don't like to be awakened in the middle of the night, I can get myself up for work when it's time, etc. Lady said ok.
Then last night, the lady was waiting when she got home and said, I want you out in fifteen days. Can you imagine? It's Christmas! So now she's looking again for a place to live so she can keep her custody of her son. I feel for her.
Our Thanksgiving was nice. Turns out we're having our Christmas here instead of at a vacation home. So I'm thinking of taking the easy way out and doing something different for Christmas dinner, like spaghetti.
Pet Peeve...Get me interested in a tv show and then don't have any new episodes for weeks at a time. Grrrrr.
I'm so glad I quit my job. I can't imagine now why I hesitated. Being home is great. I'm reading, catching up on movies I wanted to see, making my jewelry, going to the library, browsing craft shops and writing. I even have time to journal now, and I'm so much happier than when I was working. I'm even managing to get some stuff done around the house, decluttering and such.
I read on a bulletin board the other day I subscribe to that some guy had major depression around this time of the year, and he said this year was the worst he'd had in a long time.
I'm been there, had problems with depression, but now I take my little pills and try to stay away from stress and assholes and my mood has improved dramatically. :-) Maybe I should share my advice with him. I know a lot of people suffer with it this time of year.
Ok, confession, I'm a wife swap/trading spouses junkie. Love those two tv shows. Liked the one the other night about the rock star wannabe mom and dad who bum around and let their kids support them while they chill....who traded with the drill instructor mom who kept a tight ship. It's continued so I can't spoil the ending for anyone, but hey, is this a good idea for a show or what. I also like to watch Nanny 911 occasionally, so my husband and I can discuss the ways we'd kill a kid who acted like those do. Makes for very good conversation. Pass the popcorn. I'd beat him to death. I'd leave him a a reststop on the highway. I'd leave him on my ex mother in laws doorstep. Yeah....

Fifty Year Old Woman Turning Cartwheels

Not a pretty sight.. ha.
Got an email from Chicken Soup for the Soul yesterday. I won one of the two grand prizes for the Father's Day Contest for my story I submitted. It will be in the Chicken Soup for the American Soul magazine's Father's Day issue coming out in May. They picked two winners, one of a father's story about daughter and one of a daughter's story about father. My story about my step-dad won. I'm so excited! Just had to share the news with my blog friends!