Summer in the City

I always liked that song, Hot Town, Summer in the City, Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty...ok, anyway! So it's summer. This year has not been a good one, but I still don't wish for any year to fly by. This month, my MIL is coming for her summer visit. She is only staying FIVE DAYS this time (There is a God!) And, the day she leaves, hubby goes on a business trip. He comes home and I leave for Seattle for three weeks. I booked this back after my mom died. I just start feeling overwhelmed and feel like I have to get out of here and have a change. I would love to live in Seattle. I love where my son lives, but I know that would never be in our price range, but being within a bus ride of downtown would be fine with me. I love walking down to Pikes Place and buying fresh seafood, fresh produce, fresh bread--and then coming home and making dinner. Between all the fresh food, and all the walking I do when I am there- plus the R&R, I come home feeling so much better.
This time, I mailed a sewing machine there. I plan to pre-cut some projects to take to work on while I am there. I found a fabric store within walking distance that has rave reviews.
My sister and I started out very close right after my mom died, but now that summer is here, she is busy with her grandchildren every day, and our visiting went to texting, and now we are not doing that very much lately. I think everyone (at least my husband and therapist) was worried that I would get attached to her again, and that she would not hold up her end of the relationship, or would just suck me in and then decide to cut me back out of her life again. I told them both that I was taking this a day at a time. If we spent the day together, I enjoyed the talking, the activities, but I didn't expect there to be anymore after that day. If there were, great. If not, I was not disappointed. I've tried to figure out why she suddenly decided to take back up with me. It's been fifteen years! I know we lost our parents, but she was ok without me before they died. And she seemed to be making such a huge effort after their deaths. After all the times I had made efforts that went nowhere. She tells me she loves me. She asks how I am. I wondered if she promised my mom she would look after me or something? I really may never know.
But summer is taking it's toll on all that, and now that I'm going away for awhile, it will make it even harder for us to maintain the closeness.
I have gotten so used to my little family unit. My husband says we are like an island unto ourselves. Me, him, the kids, the grandkids. That's about it. In fact, with all the time the therapist spends trying to pound into my head not getting into relationships with people who have "inappropriate boundaries" and how I have to respond correctly when I need to be assertive, not be a doormat, etc. I feel like I would be so much better off if I didn't have many people in my life. My husband laughed at that, but I mean, really...It's easier to not have to learn all this if I just limit my world to those I feel safe with. And my FaceBook friends (and blog readers).
I have this one neighbor that sucks the life out of everyone. She's a big time gossip and backbiter, and she ran off everyone else in the neighborhood from being her friend. So...I felt sorry for her. No one wanted anything to do with her. So I started going to lunch with her, and she began to expect things from me, to ask questions I felt she had no business knowing, and to call constantly, invite herself into my life in times she was not asked. I don't realize this until I am totally knee deep into it, and then I have to go back and figure out where did I let her cross a boundary I should have stopped. Geez, I see I'm in the middle of it, but not how I got there. So then I have to go through a process of trying to discourage her from contacting me. It's exhausting. And she's just one example.
I don't work. I don't leave the house often. I don't have to deal with other people really. So why make the effort. I guess that sounds nuts, but it's how I feel.
Ok, here's my main rant for this blog entry. People who put pictures of their scars, ingrown toenails, surgery incisions, hemorrhoids (ok, not really) and other ghastly images on FB. Stop. Pleaseeeeee. Barf. I don't want to see it. I can take your word for it. I don't need proof you are hurt. I will believe you without having to see it.
I've been making patchwork travel pillow cases for gifts, quilts for the grandkids, baby blankets for the kids in the NICU for a project my daughter is involved in, and anything else I can find to "bust my scrap pile." I'm addicted to buying grab bags of fabric. I love getting that heavy box and not knowing what fabrics may be inside. So every other week, I order one. It feels like Christmas.
So I got an embroidery machine. My husband bought me a little table I can leave it set up on in the corner of my bedroom, so I don't have to take it up and down. I bought some blank napkins, placemats, etc so I can try it out.
Well, that's about all for now.