So....something happened

I had an appointment at the therapist today. I had written the last blog entry that I was thinking about stopping. I thought about it last night before I went to bed. I thought I am doing fine. I really dreaded just having to drive over there today. Seemed like a waste of time when I could stay home and read. I mean...I thought- what am I even going to talk to her about at the appointment?? I have nothing going on, nothing to say.
So I get there, and she calls me back, and I stroll back there and casually sit down. She picks up my file and says, "So how are you doing today?" And I BURST OUT CRYING. One of those ugly face cries. And the whole time I'm crying, I have no clue why. Not. A. Clue.
So, she talks to me for an hour. Gave me a whole stack of handouts to read. Gives me homework. And increases me to TWICE a week.
She sort of thinks it's just the whole retirement thing with B and it just being a big change that caused the "freak-out." My word-not her's. I am really 🤔 not sure. Still don't know why all the crying.
But needless to say, I'm going to be going for the foreseeable future.

Retirement Has Happened

Well, B has been retired a week now. There's an old saying that retirement gives you twice as much husband and half as much money. That is certainly true but it has not been a bad thing having him home. He seems so much more relaxed not to have to deal with work stuff.

He and I went out to eat on Friday (by ourselves!) and I urged him to start making his own decisions on what he wants to do with his time now that he's retired and not let his mom take over. She is very bossy to him and has already begun talking about how he needs to get a volunteer job somewhere soon. He said he would not do anything he didn't want to do.

I've learned a few things about dealing with her. Mostly I've learned to just listen and nod and then do what I want to do anyway.

I'm seriously considering putting an end to therapy. It's been years and I dread going now. I believe I will talk to the therapist about it the next time I go.

My step-sister and step-mother keep calling me, and I'm not answering the phone. I've done this several times and today they left a stern message about how I wasn't staying in touch, and needed to, etc etc, and how they hadn't heard from my sister either. (That's her business.)

I was really feeling guilty, ya'll, that I haven't talked to them when they call. But then I came to a decision about that, too. My dad is gone. And my stepmom has never liked me, or treated me nicely. So I am done. I figure if I ignore them long enough, they will go away. They will probably talk about me to whomever will listen, but eventually they will write me off.

So I am in the process of changing some things to make life less stressful and that's a good thing. Maybe this retirement thing can be good for both of us.