Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Pet Peeves 1-25

1. Those subscription cards they stick in magazines. Not just one, but five thousand fall out in your lap while you're trying to read. Enough already!
2. People who let their kids scream and scream and scream in restaurants. Haven't they ever heard of the "I'll take you outside and beat you to death if you don't hush" routine? Worked for mine.
3. People whose kids tell them what to do, all the time. It's like the inmates are running the prison. ha.
4. People who keep those pig sty house on "How Clean is your House". They shouldn't have tv people come in and clean it up for them. They should have a health department worker come in and condemn it. Come on people, clean up your own crap.
5. Doctors offices who overbook, so you have to sit and wait for hours every time. Don't tell me to come at 2 when you know I won't get in until 4. My time is valuable. I could be home with my feet up watching tv!
6. People who bid on ebay and don't pay.
7. Family who discusses you, discusses your life, spreads gossip throughout your relatives. Other than my husband and kids, relatives should be illegal.
8. Skinny people who say they eat all they want but can't seem to gain weight. You know they don't go to heaven. They've already had it here.
9. Bimbos. Or smart people who choose to act like bimbos. They should all be shot, too.
10. Super religious people, the "kum-ba-ya" hari shrishna, kind. The ones who have the answer if you'll just listen to them and give them your money.
11. People who ask to borrow money but choose not to have a job. If you need money, get a job. If you don't want to work, then shut up.
12. Shopping crowds, like the day after Thanksgiving sales. Ya'll should all stay home and let me go. When I'm finished, I'll tell you and you can stampede.
13. People who don't change their babies diapers. I hate to see babies walking around with twenty pound diapers sagging from their butts.
14. Lawyers. All of them.
15. Commercials. Yes we got Tivo. I still hate even having to fast forward through the things.
16. People who think we should put more money into the school's football program when the kids going there can't read. As long as he can make a touchdown, he's on the right track....yeah right...
17. Snack stuff in industrial bags that you can't open with your fists, your teeth, or by running over them with a Mack truck. I just want my potato chips! Gimme!
18. People who would never make fun of poor people but have no problem making fun of rich ones. Hey I'm not rich, but I wouldn't mind it. Would you?
19. Guys with huge guts making fun of fat women. Hey guy, look down. You tools haven't seen sunshine in years because of the shed over them. Get a life.
20. Movie star/ pop star/ rock star addicts. I don't care if Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston broke up. I don't care if he is arrested in a public restroom doing God knows what. I DON'T CARE.
21. Kids who throw away their lives. I know you hate school. But you'll be glad you went. Trust me on this. No one ever regretted later in life actually learning something. Use your brain for something besides keeping your ears apart.
22. People who drive slow in the fast lane.
23. People who exploit workers by paying them next to nothing. Minimum wage is birdfeed. Pay people what they are worth. If you can't afford to pay them well, don't hire them. Do the work yourself.
24. Motels. I was ok with this until I heard a woman on the radio talk about motel cooties. They change the sheets, yes. But do they ever change that bedspread? No... And people who just come there to have sex, do they pull the bedspread off to do it? No....And she said testing was done in one motel and do you know what the filthiest thing in it was? The remote...You wouldn't believe what they found on the remotes...Maids don't clean those....Now I've got you thinking about it, don't I....
25. People who wear too much makeup. Boy George and Tammy Fay Baker style. What's under there? Oh my GAWD.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So, I don't know why I went back and read this post on January 14, 2005, but I highly object to your number 14. Yes, there are bad lawyers who give us all a bad name. But there also are lots who try and do a good job, and get stiffed (like, umm, for $8K), or who bust their butt trying to get a father a chance at not losing his kids, only to not ever work with protective services and make the attorney look like a fool in court )umm, my husband), or who get yelled at by clients because "you charged me for work you did before I retained you," as though all of the research I did prior to your official hiring means my work wasn't necessary, when I needed to do it to answer your question.

Well you know I'm not really annoyed at you. I've just been having an awful time with snippy clients lately, and clients who are outright lying to me. And when their lies come back to bite them, who do you think they're going to blame? Me.