I know I have a lot to learn. We all do. I learn new things about life everyday. But I was thinking last night, after reading some of the young girls blogs, just how far I've come. Here are a few examples.
1.) It doesn't matter what other people think about you. People who truly love you will accept you like you are, even when you make dumb mistakes, even when you're grumpy. I spent the majority of my life waiting to decide whether or not I liked something, until I found out what other people thought. Then even though I really secretly liked it, if they all hated it, I'd figure I must be crazy and go along with everyone else and hate it too.
2.) It's possible to get so dependent on another person for your self worth that you actually lose yourself as a person. Or as my counselor used to say, you become a "non-person". I was in a terrible marriage until 2000 with a control freak. Everyone who loved me said I should get out. But I kept getting out and going back. Why? Because I was nuts back then. Finally, I decided I must be nuts and went to a counselor and said help me stay out of this toxic relationship. She started asking me things about myself, what did I like, etc? I had no clue. She asked what kind of things did he and I do in our spare time? Did I enjoy those events/activities? NOOOO. Through her questioning, it finally clicked. I had totally lost my identity in that relationship, and it was a long journey back to figuring out my likes/dislikes, being able to voice an opinion that was truly my own, learning to care about me and my needs.
3.) Things don't make you happy. All it really does is create clutter that ultimately makes me more unhappy. I know that if I had to put only a few things into a backpack and walk away from this house to live somewhere else, I could do it and be happy. I can't believe how attached I have been in the past to stuff that didn't matter at all.
4.) We'd better go and do and see all the things we want to go, do, or see NOW. There's no guarantee that you'll be able to do those things "after you retire" and from the people I know who waited, chances are pretty good you won't be able to.
5.) We should all take better care of ourselves. Burning the candle at both ends leaves you all mushy/melty in the middle. ha.
6.) Change gets harder the older you get, at least for me.
7.) Women can do fine without a man. If you have a good one, hang onto him. If you don't, you're better off alone than with a bad one.
8.) Bad men disguise themselves very well.
9.) Kids are worth all the trouble. I wouldn't take a billion dollars for my kids.
10.) God loves us even when we don't love ourselves. And most of the time our own image of God is what causes us to feel distant. And what do we really know about what He is like? Or looks like? I think twelve steps groups who say think of an image you can love and stick with that, are right. I have a hard time with that image because of all the crap I've been fed all my life about "God is out to get ya!"
11.) Every woman needs some money of her own that she could get to if she ever needed it. Best advice my grandmother ever gave me.
12.) The things in life that mean the most to us are the things that are capable of causing us the most pain, so choose those carefully. Just because someone is related to you, doesn't mean having them in your life is good for you. If you were hired as your own "life manager" would you fire yourself for the job you've done?
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