What should I call you?

When my husband and I married in March 2003, I was 46. I had been married before, four times (two of them were the same guy) and had lived as a single lady for awhile. When my husband and I reached that point in our relationship where we talked about marriage, we had the "conversation" about whether or not I would change my name to his. I had done this before, and changed it back, and had begun to feel that I didn't know who the hell I was, as I'd had so many names! So the last time I had divorced, I took back my maiden name and swore never to change it again.
My husband said it was totally up to me. He said he didn't feel like I had to be his "property" and he agreed there would be an awful lot of things to change names on at my age (drivers license, social security card, medical insurance, car insurance, deed on house, name at doctor's offices, bank accounts, warranties, my college degree, my teacher certification, and the list went on and on.) So it was settled, and I kept my name.
Through the years, it's been a challenge in some ways. My father and step-mother after finding out my name had not changed, gave each other this knowing look and I am sure they don't believe we are married. People we meet never can seem to get it straight, and end up calling us both by his name, or both by MY last name. At the hospital, the doctor looked at my chart and then called my husband my last name the whole time. People find it easier to refer to couples as "the Smiths" than John Smith and Jane Doe. Sometimes we have corrected people. Sometimes we just let them wonder. Sometimes we just let it go.
So what do I think about it? I think it's an issue with a lot of people. I think it makes people uncomfortable to think a woman wouldn't just LOVE to change her name and become Mrs. Whoever. I think people can't fathom why I wouldn't.
I like my name. That's who I am. I would never ask my husband to change his name, and no one would disagree with that. So why should I change mine? It's part of who I am. It's who I was when he met me.
Plus, there is the career thing. People get to know you by one name. You switch it and it's like starting all over. No one recognizes your new name. Now that I'm writing, it's even more important to me to keep some continuity in the name department.
This blog entry was spurred by one that I read regularly, of a young girl who has gone through mixed feelings after taking her hubby's name. I understand her completely.
There have been times when I thought it might be easier to just give in and do it like everyone else wants. But then I wouldn't be true to myself and my feelings.
So I'm just who I am. And I don't intend to change. And neither will my name.