I have days when....

Facing fifty before long, I have days when I realize how fast the clock is ticking, and how each year seems to fly by faster than the last. I see people never make it to retirement to enjoy those things they put off for so long. I see patients at the hospice where I work dying, younger than me. And I realize, really realize that life is going to be gone one day and when it comes will I have regrets? Will I think I wasted my time? Will I wish I had done things I didn't do? That I didn't do things I did? Will there be things I really wanted to see or do I never got an chance to see or do? If I stay on the same path, and don't change (I hate change) will I wake up one day and wish I had taken a few detours? Or an entirely different road?
I know I can't be the only one who does this. Sarah Breathnach wrote a book a few years back called "Something More" in which she said, "People basically fall into three catagories, the resigned, who live in quiet desperation; the exhausted who live in restless agitation, and and then the rest of us, who perpetually wonder what the "something more" is we so desperately crave." I think there's a lot of truth in that.
When I was a young girl, I wanted to grow up, get married, have children, and be a teacher. I did all those things. I got married several times (ha!), had three great kids, found out I hated teaching, started a new career as a writer in which I met my definition of success, and now just seem to be floundering again. I'm not unhappy. I love my husband, love my kids, am reasonably happy with my job, my home, etc. But I always feel like there's something more. Maybe as humans we are just never satisfied. I think sometimes I'm not ever completely content, no matter how good things get. It can be very frustrating.