A Bump on a Log

I had no idea this weekend was Easter. A long time ago, I ordered a honeybaked ham for Easter, and when I got the email that it had been shipped, I couldn't figure out why they were shipping this early! My family has always had a big dinner for Thanksgiving and Christmas, sometimes birthdays. But my husband is used to also having a big "get together" for Easter. Which has always been fine. He likes to invite his daughter and her husband that day. This year that has just caught me a little off guard. So I don't have anything planned for Sunday, and little time to get it done. Add to that the fact we made plans to go boat riding on Saturday. So whatever I'm going to do for Easter better get figured out pronto. (Do you think I'll go to hell for grumbling over Easter?)
All I've done this week is sit on my butt. I haven't answered my friends' emails the way I should. I haven't done much of anything in the house except make dinner and keep the laundry up. I've been in sweats all week, and I don't think I've left the house even once.
When I was working, I got up every day and I got ready and went to work. I have a strong work ethic so when I was there, I wanted them to get their money's worth. I worked diligently for my time and then came home. (Also made the day go faster). And now, all I really need to do is get up, get dressed, fix myself up a little, straighten up the house, do some organizing projects I need to do around here (like cleaning out closets etc.), and just keep up with normal day to day things. So what am I doing? Nothing. Well actually that's not true. I'm spending my day not getting anything done that feels important, not wanting to do anything, and feeling so mad at myself because I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. Like a viscous circle.
Yesterday a friend called me that I'm always happy to hear from. I sat there and couldn't think of anything intelligent to say. I listened but honestly felt like I wasn't able to contribute anything to the conversation that meant anything. It was exasperating.
So I know the fix for this. MAKE myself do the things I need to do so that I do feel useful. But even though this bothers me, I still don't want to do anything about it.
I'm mad at myself for the amount of time I spend sitting in the recliner, surfing on the computer, or watching stupid tv shows.
So what did I do to make myself feel better? I baked a dozen choc chip cookies and ate a whole plate. Now I have a stomach ache, and feel worse. And I'm angry about that!