Ok, so today I'm in a weird mood. It all started when my laptop went haywire doing things nice computers shouldn't do, and I got this sense of impending doom and wondered if this is the thing they call the virus. Hopefully not. But I quickly shut that sucker down before it had a chance to infect anything. Am I the only one who thinks "virus" and "infect" sounds like stupid words to describe computer problems? Right now, I can think of much better words but they are mostly four letter and might be censored by Blogspot.
So there was this true story told by Jerry Clowers. He said he was having chest pains and went to the doctor because he thought it might be his heart. The doctor told him his heart was so strong that when he died, they might have to take a club and beat it to get it to stop. Then he told him what his problem was, was his esophagus. To which he replied, "I didn't know I had an esophagus."
Well, I only have two people in my life whom I can ask about computer stuff. My son is a whiz, and although he rants and complains when asked, usually fixes it anyway. But he's got this new job and he's gone all day. The other expert I know is my daughter, but she's at work and always busy and when I send her a message gives me three word replies, "Look it up." However, today she told me it was probably my "symbol lock" that was causing my problem. And I replied...yes, you guessed it. "I didn't know I had a symbol lock." I asked her where it is and what it looks like, and she said...."Look it up."
I decided to remedy this my own way. I put the laptop on the stairs so my son will see it when he makes his beeline from the front door up to his bachelor pad upstairs. And I got on the "trusty desktop, tied down, can't do it and also watch tv at the same time" computer.
So that got me in a really foul mood. And I started thinking about other things. Things I know I've said in my blog before but still bug me. Things like I hate Oprah Winfrey.
I saw on one of AOL's million welcome banners that she's the third most powerful person in America according to Forbes. She is knocked out by TOM CRUISE, who got the number one. So I guess being a couch jumper, ignorant, opinionated, "should shut his &^% mouth", guy pays off. So I am just angry enough today to admit I hate Oprah (which on a normal day I woudn't say for fear of hellfire and damnation). Evidently, I'm not the only one who does. So does this guy. And he's really funny about it.
I think it's that look she gets when she closes her lips and sticks her nose in the air like "Go ahead, admire me some more" that drives me to hate. It makes me want to bitch slap her. I have the perfect Oprah show. Send Oprah to the ghettos to live on a Welfare check, take care of some women's six children, cook, clean, wipe butts and noses, and have to be normal for at least a year. Then show the highlights of her stomping her foot because she can't afford to have a limo driver go pick up dinner, or the kids shipped off to some expensive boarding school, or buy her Louis Vuitton purses. That's a show I'd watch.
But you want to know what else bugs me about Oprah? As much as I hate her, her show, her magazine, and her bookclub, just like that guy does, I still watch that frigging show, read the magazine, and buy the stupid books. So what does that make me? An Oprah ho?
Told you I was in a weird mood today.
2 comments:
Also, a few weeks back there was talk that Oprah was the new "spiritual leader" for our country. To me, such talk is a sure fire sign that we have gone astray somewhere.
There are poor women, obscure, unknown women out there who are far more spiritual than Oprah. BUT, they don't have her money so, God forbid they be considered for such a lofty appointment. Since when does celebrity status and wealth mean possibly becoming a "spiritual leader?"
I watch her if the guest is interesting. I don't read books from her book club because I have my own trials and struggles to overcome and the last darn thing I want to put myself to sleep with at night is a book about some down trodden woman.
The day I know Oprah cares anything about me or those like me is the day she lowers the price of her glossy magazine so us hard working single mothers can afford to read the dribble and look at the ads. There is a big difference between spiritual and greedy and Oprah has cornered the market on greed. All disguised in the appearance of helping others.
I have a love/hate thing going with Oprah, but what I hate most is how she always seems to have this great epiphany on almost every show.
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