Saturday, August 05, 2006

If Oprah can do it, Why Can't I?

I hate being fat. I hate it worse than anything, except giving up food. I saw this commercial today for Total cereal. It's the one where this teen daughter finds her mom's high school jeans, and says, "You mean YOU used to fit into THESE?" For one thing, that's when I would have strangled her. But no, this mom decides to show her. The daughter goes about her life, while wearing Mom's jeans while Mom spends days keeping an eye on her jeans and eating Total cereal. Then one morning, Mom says, "I want my jeans back" and down the stairs comes Mom, in the jeans, looking happy.
I read some posts about this on some other websites. You would be surprised at the 10 and 20-somethings that say, "Jeez, why would that old lady want to wear those jeans she wore at 20? She is OLD. She must be like 40! Yuck!"
I want to strangle them, too.
Then I got a letter from a friend who was telling me about her marriage, and she said her husband had gained weight and she could deal with a lot of things but not him getting FAT! God forbid.
So I decided that I could lose this weight with no problem. I mean, Oprah did it, right? All I need is a few things like Oprah had. For one, I need her money, so I won't have the stress in my life. I need her personal trainer, who is so into the idea of me promoting his books on my tv show that he worships me. (Who wouldn't want a guy watching them on the exercise machine while saying how wonderful you are? If I had her money, I could pay him to say anything.) Then I need her personal chef. He can scour all the cookbooks for light cooking and cook me only the most delicious meals, while I sit and spend my money. Then I need the money to make stores in Paris feel bad for not staying open for me while I shop for my new skinny bod.
See? Anyone can lose weight. All it takes is a few Oprah perks.

4 comments:

Cathy said...

I've been doing the egg thing for breakfast. I have two scrambled eggs in the morning and I'm full until dinner time. I've lost 3 pounds in less than a week. I think the protein has kept down the sugar cravings.

I'm also not eating anything after 8:00 in the evenings and I have started doing 15 minutes on the exercise bike every morning plus my stretching.

Sure, I'd love to have my own Pilates machine and someone to do the cooking but that isn't going to happen. Use average folks have to figure out how to do it our way.

Forest Lady said...

I am not usually hungry in the morning. Around 1 or 2, I suddenly realize I'm starving, and I grab whatever is quick and doesn't require much effort. Some days it's a Heath bar, other days it's a cereal bar. Today it was a tomato sandwich. Then at dinner, I'm still hungry. I eat one plate and make myself stop, but it's usually a big plate. About eight o'clock, I want something-ice cream, cookies, anything sweet. If we have such, I have some. If not, I go to bed grumpy. I think my problem is I sit on my butt most of the day. Going from the recliner to the front door to see what packages the mailman left is the extent of the exercise I've been getting lately.

Cathy said...

Amy, I'm like Kathy, I don't get hungry until 1 or 2. Like her I would not eat breakfast and then when I got hungry go to the pantry looking for something quick and filling.

I've been forcing myself to eat breakfast at 10:30. Guess it's more like brunch but the eggs hold me over until dinner.

Kathy, the evening sweets has always been a habit of mine. It's hard holding myself to the nothing after 8 rule but, I'm finding I wake up with more energy in the morning if I don't go to bed with sweets in my tummy. Taylor made brownies earlier today, if I get through tonight without stuff one of them down my throat I'm going to buy myself a new pair of shoes tomorrow. I've never been able to resist brownies darn it.

Freebird said...

My problem is I'm never really hungry when I eat. I eat because the clock tells me it's time to. I have been better about it lately though.