Yes, Margaret, There is a God

I decided to give it up and call to get an appointment with a counselor, due to suggestions by both daughter and husband. You see, I've tried the counseling three times. The first time I had a counselor I just really clicked with, Mrs. Jones. She was a woman about my age, and with similar experiences with family (I gathered from some of her comments), and during the two years I saw her, she moved me forward in my life and helped me make some life changing decisions. All was well, until she decided to change and get into a group that didn't take my insurance.
Determined, I tried going for awhile and paying on my own, but that didn't/couldn't be done for long. So I told her I couldn't come back. I will never forget her look and what she said, "Just when we were really starting to get somewhere."
So then I found a woman nearby, Mrs. Martin, who took my insurance, and who spent the whole time filling out paperwork for forty-five minutes of every fifty minute session. Then she'd say so is there anything you want to talk about today? Which, of course, made my mind go totally blank. I gave her up.
Then I broke down a year or so ago, and found another lady in our area, who I called Miss Brenda, and it went ok. I liked her. She tried. But there was just something that never felt right with her. I just realized I missed the first one. I had gotten spoiled. So the thought of going back to counseling wasn't an idea I wanted to do. But hey, I realize I am depressed. I can call it by a lot of different names but when you don't want to do anything, or talk to anyone, or take a bath, that's depression.
So I broke down this morning and called my insurance company to find out who they would pay for me to see in the way of counselors. They read off a couple of names, including counselor number two (no way, who else do you have), a man (no, don't think so), and counselor number three. I figured I'd just go back to her, even though I didn't really want to. But something hit me, and I thought why not? So I asked if the first woman, Jones, was on their list. While she had me on hold waiting, I said, "Please God. Please God. Please God" to myself. Then all of a sudden, I felt such peace. I knew it would be ok. She came back to the phone and said, "Yes, she's a provider. Here's her number." I see her this Wednesday.
Today is the first time I've felt better in weeks. Yes, folks. There are times I am totally convinced without a shadow of a doubt that God is up there, listening, and really cares what happens. Today is one of those days. Thanks, God. Thanks, God. Thanks, God.