Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Have to Get Back Up

I'm so tired. I saw the counselor yesterday and she said she thinks I need a change in meds. My house is a mess. I decided I just had to make an effort to clean it today. I get going, get tired, and find myself sitting back down. So in spurts, I'm making a little progress. I've cleaned off the entertainment center, cleaned off the coffee table and end tables, and dusted all of those. I have a sink full of dishes, three bathrooms to clean, carpets to vacuum, floors to mop. I haven't made my bed from this morning. The only reason I am dressed is that I heard the yard people out front and had to go out and open the back gate for them.
All I want to do is go to bed and pull the covers over my head. Then I feel guilty because there is so much I need to do. My daughter is sick, in the middle of moving. My son is transitioning from his big move. I feel like people need me. My husband needs me. I have cooked one meal this week.
Yesterday, I was determined I was going to get up, shower, put on makeup, get dressed and show up at the therapist's without looking like something the dog drug into her office. I did all that and then almost canceled going because I felt so tired.
I just don't know what's wrong. I usually at least keep my house clean. Now it's just piling up, and as much as it drives me crazy, I just don't care enough to get it all done.
I've got to get it together here.

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