My husband was off Friday so it was a long weekend for us. We did a bit of Christmas and grocery shopping. He also helped me to complete some secret shops. Today we went to the Christmas choir program at the church.
Tomorrow night we have cards at the clubhouse; Tuesday I have cards at the senior center; Wednesday, I'm going with him to a luncheon for a lady in his office that is retiring; Thursday, he is going with me to the Senior Ctr for their Christmas party. Thursday night is the party at the clubhouse for our Sunday School classes (We've only been there once but they invited us and since it's here at the clubhouse with many of our card playing buddies, I thought we'd go). Friday morning is card playing at the clubhouse again. Normally (although I'm not sure what is normal for me anymore) having something to do every day would be absolutely exhausting for me to think about and render me totally frozen in doing anything at all. Now, though, I look forward to these things. I look forward to Christmas even.
So my husband and I were talking today, and he commented how well I am doing off my anti-depressants. I said, "Yeah, and I feel so good. I have energy. I look forward to getting out around people, shopping, decorating for the holidays. This week I'm going to do some holiday baking. My only problem is I have no desire to go to sleep without my Ambien, and I really hoped I could quit them by now. Also, I feel like I'm always hungry and never full." The minute it left my mouth, it hit me what I had just said, and he immediately said, "Sounds like you're manic." Then I remembered all the times my doctor had asked me that checklist of things that included most of what I recited to my husband. So it could be mania, or at least hypomania, which is a lesser degree. I don't know. I only know that for the last two months, I've felt FANTASTIC.
If it is mania, that would mean I have some version of bi-polar, with the highs and lows. I don't know. I hope not. All I know is I hope whatever this is, it lasts a long time. And I hope I don't have to go on any medication. I see my shrink again in January. I only have to go every three to four months now. I just want very badly for this to be my new normal. I'm really enjoying my life right now. I'm not going to mention any of this to him when I go. I will answer his questions truthfully, but hopefully, he will just think I'm doing great.
3 comments:
I'm glad you're feeling great, but you so need to mention it to him. I was thinking mania too, toward the end. If it is, it'll be so much better to get it under control now, rather than when you're in the depressive stage.
I agree with Amy.
I also hope this is "normal." That it lasts and you never know anything again other than what you are feeling now.
Like Amy, I think you need to mention it to the doctor. Please tell him.
Until then, have fun!!
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