Thursday, February 19, 2009

You like me? Good. You don't? That's fine, too.


My sister came, my mom took her on a tour of our home (very short tour to see it all. ha) and then we went to Hobby Lobby. Sis decided not to make snide comments about me, so she made them about others. First she started on my mom. We were in the check out line, with several other people, and she started talking about how my mom got lost in a store the other day, and couldn't figure out how to find her way to the front. She told it in a long, "this is hilarious, Mom is getting really old" type of way. My mom looked embarrassed at the strangers listening to it. I looked at my mom and said, "I do those same kind of things, Mom, all the time." So my sister took it up a notch and told one that was even more embarrassing, so much so I won't repeat it here.

We went to lunch and she talked about her mother-in-law hiding her teeth in her bra when she took them out in a restaurant (it's an old Southern woman thing--My granny used to hide money there, and I have been known to stash cash there myself). Then she talked about my step-mom and what she hopes to get from the house when they die. She talked about her daughters..it just went on and on.

When she started on Obama, and used the "n" word, I actually spoke up and said, "I don't use that word." My mom looked at me like I had two heads, then collected herself and said, "I guess none of us should." My sister just continued to count my heads.

She also said, "Since you went to college, you talk funny." That was because she said, "I ain't got no reason to put out cabbage plants this year, because mama grows more 'n enough for all of us" and I replied, "I don't have a reason to plant them as long as we have a Krogers." Bad English is common in our family, and anyone who speaks differently is "weird." I admit mine is not perfect, but if you met my family, you would see I've come a long way.

I honestly feel nothing she can say to me at this point is going to affect my opinion of myself, which I guess is what emotionally healthy means. I know I just felt so much better yesterday around her, not having to worry about dodging arrows.
I didn't feel nervous when they were here. I felt comfortable to be myself. If my sister had left and not wanted to come back, I would have been disappointed but it would be fine.

As things are, I think we can see each other and be family, and it will be fine now. I don't have unrealistic expectations, and don't need her approval anymore.

1 comment:

Cathy said...

I'm cracking up at your sister counting your heads. Funny image!

I think having low expectations is the key. Wish I could get to that place with some of my relatives.