Ok, so I did a whole post on how healthy I've been emotionally, how far I've come. Then God showed me to have some humility and that I don't know everything.
I have a rolling pin that belonged to my grandmother. It's old, wood, with red handles, worn and weathered from many years of use. If you had asked me a few days ago, I would have said my grandmother gave it to me, because I thought she did. She gave me a dish towel, an apron, and the rolling pin, I think. Many, many, many years ago.
My niece has a cooking blog, where she posts family recipes and the stories behind them. It's really good. In one recipe she posted recently, she said her mom visited me, and I mentioned having my grandmother's rolling pin, but my sister was shocked. She said Mom had given her a rolling pin, and said it was my grandmother's. So she confronted Mom, and Mom said she didn't want us to not each have one, so she bought an extra from an antique store. Who has the real one? That was my niece's question. I could have been happy from now on, just contently using my rolling pin and thinking of my grandmother. But no. It was not to be. Now I'm wondering if my Mom did give me the rolling pin at some point, and not my grandmother. And it bugs me. REALLY bugs me. I feel hurt, and I wish they had just left well enough alone.
So, you see, they can still hurt my feelings no matter how much therapy I had. I haven't come so far after all. One visit to my house from my sister and I'm back to feeling like a little girl that lost her dolls to her sister during the divorce, because Mom left in such a hurry with me in tow.
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