Love in Different Ways

Today, my sister and I went through Mama's things. Mama was very neat, not a pack rat by any means, so the things she held onto through the years were the things that meant a lot to her.
When I was fourteen, I realized my mother had never said I love you. I went to the mall and found a card that told her I loved her. I remember how scared I was to give it to her, and how it took me a couple of days to get up the courage. I played it all out in my mind, and imagined I would give it to her, she would read it, and then she would say I love you, too.
I remember she had just finished putting away the supper dishes one evening when I gave it to her. She dropped it into her robe pocket. I said no, read it! She opened, read, and said that's nice. I was crushed. So crushed in fact that I still talked about that card in therapy decades later.
I opened Mama's dresser drawer this morning, moved a few papers, and there it was--my card. She had kept it over 40 years. Yes, I did the ugly cry. I brought it home, and realize she showed her love for me by the way she saved my card.



We also found Mama's credit cards, tied together with a rubber band, with a paper wrapped around them....and a note to herself...."Don't Even Think About it!"