I'm reading a book by Martha Beck, the life coach who appears on Oprah a lot. She has this new book about called Leaving the Saints , about her decision to leave the Mormon church. She knows an awful lot about the church because her father is one of the head honcho apologists for the church, Hugh Nibley. I didn't read it for the Mormon part though, really, even though it is interesting to me, having been Mormon and left. I am reading it because I have such a strong interest in anyone finding their spirituality. She also had a search to find her spirituality, to find God, that she refers to as not a man with white hair, but as a force in the universe like gravity or magnetism. She had a near death experience in which God told her he was with her always and she just had to look "inside her heart." I sure wish I knew what that means.
I remember so many times, getting on my knees, alone, and crying to God about my problems, asking Him to show me He's there and show me He cares and tell me what to do!
I just feel like I'm "missing it" somewhere. So looking inside my heart may be part of it, if I could figure that part out. She also talks about "the truth setting us free" which is from the scriptures. Maybe being truthful about myself to myself will be part of my process. I'm working on that through journaling and counseling. I just wish I knew God was listening, was near.
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