Growing 'N Goaling

I find myself facing fifty before too long and trying to "find myself" and set goals for myself. I've felt ashamed to be this age and still not know what I want to do with my life. Today, after some journaling, I've decided I've been too hard on myself.
I married the first time very young, and went from Mama's house to a home with a husband. At that time, I didn't have any idea what I wanted to do. Those first few years, all we did was struggle to make ends meet, to buy a home, to get better jobs, etc. Then in our fourth year, the first of our three children was born, the other two following in the next few years. At that point, I had found a purpose for my life. I was a MOM. My kids became my focus. Any time during their growing up years that I tried to have some life apart from them, I ended up placing tremendous guilt on myself for my "selfishness". I love my kids and loved the life I had when they were home.
Then when the baby moved out at 19, my nest became really empty. Suddenly I was suppose to move forward with MY life, and I had no idea what I wanted to do. I don't think most people realize, especially if they don't have children, how you can lose sight of yourself for fifty years, but you don't really mind, because you love what you are doing. I didn't feel I lived through my children, but I did live for them, willingly.
So here I am, just having celebrated my forty-ninth birthday, and now it's my time. I don't know everything I want to do, but I do have some ideas. I have set some goals, maybe small ones but at least they are goals. And I truly do understand why the old saying, "Life begins at fifty" is true.