What good is it to find things in life I feel passionate about, if I don't do anything about them? That is what I asked myself today. I've let fear and apprehension keep me from pursuing things. I've not been fair to myself by doing that. I identified the three areas in my life I really want to take the time to enjoy and explore, as I've said in previous posts.
I am a writer. There! I said it! I'm really a writer now. And writers write. So that is one of my first pursuits, to write and submit more.
I miss the creative side of myself as expressed through art. I went out and bought a large heavy papered pad, and a very basic set of oil pastels from WalMart. It's a start. The next step would be to find a spot in this house to claim as my art space, to be able to set up my easel, and go to it whenever I feel the urge, without having to dig through the closet to find the supplies. I have a wonderful easel my husband gave me a long time ago. I have a few colors of oil paints, and I have some really nice brushes from when I took a Bob Ross class awhile back.
The third thing was my photography. I love taking photos and have taken pictures of everything from cemetary monuments and statues to the nearby Japanese Garden to vacation pictures. I took most of them on a disposable camera. Today I ordered a really good camera with all the accessories. Now that I have invested money into it, that will help me to actually get out there and take pictures!
I also realized today that I feel hopeful about my life, and this is the first time in a long time I've felt that, if I'm totally honest about it. I think back of things I've survived, from bad relationships to my best friend's suicide to being blacklisted by my family. I have grown stronger because of these tragedies. And having these bad times can either cripple me or make me fully appreciate the good times I can have today. I want to only have to ruminate the past in the therapist's office, leave the future for tomorrow and start experiencing each day.
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