Last couple of days the Meniere's has been rearing it's ugly head. I don't know if it's because I ate out too much last weekend, or if it's just "time" or what. But by Monday afternoon, I felt like I was on a merry-go-round. I had things I had to do around here to keep my sanity, like catch up the laundry and clean the kitchen, but other than that, I didn't do much but lie in the recliner. Today it's better though.
Today is my husband's birthday. I'm making him a devil's food cake I found the recipe for on the low-sodium website. I bought him a couple of shirts, and my son bought him a DVD. I'm making spaghetti, his favorite, for dinner.
My mom called and said there will be a get-togetheron Saturday for one of her aunt's who is celebrating her ninetieth birthday. Wow. I'm planning to go with my mom to it, because I am hoping to see one of my second cousins, who was my partner in crime during my teen years. I haven't seen her in so many years, even though she lives about thirty miles away. We just sort of lost touch. It's easy to lose touch, and much harder to reconnect with people. Maybe it's because of my age (forty-nine in a little over two weeks) or just the fact that I lost one of my cousin's lately, but I seem to want to see those whom I cared about so much in my past.
I haven't finished the books the counselor gave me to read, and I see her again on Friday, but I don't think she expected me to have them read by then. It's just like me, but I realize I am striving to get an A+ from the counselor. Just realizing that makes me laugh and shake my head.
In many ways, this year has been hard so far, but I also realize that it's been a good year on getting to know myself, why I do things, re-establish relationships with old friends, and put some things to rest. So I feel like I've messed up most things for the last forty eight years, and I'm taking a year to reflect and come into the last part of my life with more wisdom.
I read on the internet today an interesting exercise. (I'm always into interesting psychological exercises lately.) It said to imagine that you have been given a job, a very important job. You are admonished to be absolutely objective and do the best possible job you can do. You have been assigned as a life coach for someone. You are too take a look at her life and see where the changes need to be made, what the hard decisions are she needs to make, how things need to be different. You are to advise her on what doors need to be closed, what windows need to be opened to help her realize her true potential. You are to write a detailed summary of what you, as her life coach, think needs to happen for her to be her happy authentic self. Money is no object, how hard these steps will be does not matter. This is someone's life at stake. She needs more.......she needs to stop doing........She needs to allow herself to ........She needs to pursue the dream of ..............etc. etc. And you are the expert assigned to be her last ditch effort to right things. Now...the person you are assigned to help is ________________ (fill in your own name).
I think I'm going to do this one. Because I am the kind of person who always has the answers for everyone else but not myself. By taking a position as an objective observer looking in, instead of out, you gain a new perspective, and by not having the internal aguments and resistance over what you feel needs to be done, you learn to be fearless.
I'll let you know how this ends up. If any of you try it, be sure to let me know what happens for you.
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