Interesting Conversation

It was a strange day. I decided with gas prices the way they are, I'd start riding into work with my husband each morning, which means I get there about thirty minutes early and I leave about thirty minutes later than everyone else. Most of the time I wait alone, and I don't mind. It's quiet and peaceful in the office with everyone gone and the answering service picking up calls. Today, one of the male nurses stayed late doing paperwork, and then decided to wait with me until my husband arrived. He's a black man in an interracial marriage, and they have had some problems, like most couples, but I think in some ways their problems may be increased by their differences and the attitudes of their families. He said he loved her so much, that he began his marriage giving into whatever she wanted to do. He said it served a two-fold purpose. One-he made her happy and two- he didn't make her angry. ha. Such as it is with a lot of women. Me included.
He said she talked him into buying this old fixer-upper house, but the first time he saw it, he thought, hell no. He said it looked dreary and dingy and like a lot of work. She had her heart set on it though, so he didn't voice his objections. He said it ended up being a money pit and they sunk over 30K into it before he finally said enough. It was a long distance from where they worked, too, besides the expenses it incurred. So he became resentful. He said he finally realized that he had no one to blame besides himself, because he could have spoken up, but he didn't. So he said from now on, if she wants to do something he feels is a bad idea, he's going to say so. He said had he done that in the first place, she would have gotten mad, but would have been over it by now, and they'd have 30K more in the bank.
This led into a discussion about what women want. He said they want a man to let them have their way, but at the same time they want a man who's not afraid to stand up to them. Of course, that's his opinion. In my experience, I want a man who's not bossy, who is open minded, who is free to share his opinion which I will take into consideration. I think on the big things which involve us both, if either one of us is vehemently opposed, then it's a no-go. However, if it's something that involves me or my job or my life, then his opinion is taken into consideration and then I do what I think is best, even if it differs from him. And I don't want an opinion I don't ask for. Some men have a heard time with women who don't take their advice. I've had guys I've dated get mad over it. But my instincts usually play out pretty well, and even when I make a bad decision, it's better in that it's my decision, my mistake. I don't think any woman wants some macho bossy guy telling her how to run her life. I know I don't. Been there, done that, kicked him to the curb. So I think he's going from one extreme to another. Letting her call all the shots for the both of them is not good. Neither is stepping up to argue with her about everything. I think if it's come to that, they've lost some of the respect for each other they should have. I couldn't make a decision that would make my husband unhappy, any more than he could do that to me. However, I know he'd sacrifice for something that really meant a lot to me, as I would for him. Guess that's what is meant by give and take.