Got tagged by Miss Cathy

I AM: An open-minded person who easily seems to be able to see both sides of any situation. Which also makes me very indecisive. I’m also generous. If you come to my house and admire something, you will more than likely leave carrying it. I am extremely introverted (99% according to the counselor). I am also a procrastinator and a quitter. Which means I take forever to start something and tend to drop out in the middle of it. I’m creative. I’m like a kid in that if you give me a box of crayons or a tray of waterpaints, I’m happy. I’m a realist. I am spiritual. I am understanding and a good listener, when you can get my attention out of my head long enough. I have a long memory, especially of negative things. I want to say I’m a writer, but I’m actually the person who punches the keyboard while something/someone “out there” tells me what to say.

I WANT: My children to be happy and healthy. I want to die not wishing I had done or finished something I didn’t get to do. I want to travel and see the world. I want to get rid of every material thing we can live without and take the basics and go. Unemcumbered and free.

I WISH: I had a big loving biological family who could love me and accept me just as I am. People I could count on. I wish I had an RV. I wish I’d win the lottery. I wish I could stay forty-nine forever, but it’s too late for that now.

I HATE: People who think they know everything and have all the answers. I hate parts of myself. I hate being fat. I hate clutter in my house and feeling like the walls are closing in. I hate being too hungry, too hot, or too tired.

I MISS: My Granny. I miss my friend, Rachel. I miss those frequent bursts of energy I used to get ten years ago. I miss looking down and seeing my feet without having to lean forward, and being able to tie my shoes without feeling like my eyeballs are going to pop out.

I FEAR: Getting to the point of death and realizingII did it all wrong. I fear something happening to someone I love. I fear being totally alone.

I HEAR: I hear about half of what I used to. I hear this neverending drone of the television that is on all day when my husband is home. I hear my Tivo clicking. I hear the ceiling fan. That’s about it.

I WONDER: What the future will hold. I wonder if I’ll ever write a book. I wonder if I’ll ever see another day in my life when I don’t feel overweight. I wonder why someone hasn’t invented grass that stays green and never has to be mowed or fertilized or anything, and flowers with blooms that don’t fall off. Or self cleaning kitchens.

I REGRET: A lot of dumb choices I made with men. I regret the good ones I let get away and the bad ones I kept and should have driven away. I regret not spending every single moment of my time with my children at home enjoying them instead of worrying about stupid stuff.

I’M NOT: Sexy anymore. I’m not thin. I’m not a good housekeeper anymore. I’m not a perfect mother. I’m not a perfect anything.

I DANCE: Alone…often.(Left that one just like Cathy had answered it on her blog, because it’s true. Especially since I got the record player.)

I SING: Not often enough. I used to sing a lot. Then I stopped.

I CRY: I don’t remember the last time. But I’m sure it was over some movie.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: As spiritual as I’d like to be. I’m not always motivated. I’m not always anything, but I’m usually ok most of the time.

I MAKE: a lot of new recipes. I make a good effort at writing. I make a mess around the recliner with piles of junk I have to put away.

I WRITE: Short Stories. I write poetry (yes, really. Never admitted that to anyone in many years.) I write down quotes I like. I write in my blog. I write emails to my friends. I write down my grocery list. That’s about it.

I CONFUSE: People’s names. I confuse myself trying to remember where I parked the car in a parking lot. I confuse whether something really happened or I dreamed it, sometimes. .I NEED: Money for an RV. I need to learn to use my camera. I need to exercise and watch what I eat. I need more energy. I need a nap.

I HAVE: A lot more than I ever deserved, and I’m grateful for it .I have a good husband and good kids.

I LOVE: My husband. My kids. My dogs. My friends. My townhome. My book collection. My records. Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s eyes. And dimples. And...

I SHOULD: Be kinder to myself and others. I should stop writing this before it takes up so much space it shuts down blogspot..