See Mama? I Knew She'd Grow Up That Way!

The one thing my mom said with disgust is that someone she knew was "big, fat, and lazy". That was the epitome of gross to her. All her life, she tried hard not to be big, fat, and lazy. She put those tapes in me, and I hear over and over in my head how one should not be those things. My granny also said they were bad, bad, bad. For instance, she never took a nap in the bed during the day because only lazy people do that. And so all my life I've struggled with being overweight and loving naps and lack of inertia.
Recently, a friend told me I was complacent. When I told someone recently I would never get a roommate if I had a choice in doing that or living alone, I was told I "hate everybody anyway."
My number one complaint to the therapist was that I don't seem to be accomplishing anything. What I didn't tell her is that secretly I like it like this. Of course, that has to be a sin to think, much less to say.
So today I realized exactly what I am. I AM big, fat, and lazy. The epitome of disgusting according to my mother.
I tell myself that I'm not. I deny it at all costs. No one likes to think of themselves as the definition of disgusting, especially when they like it that way. Of course, it eases my conscious somewhat that my husband is also big, fat, and lazy, and likes me fine this way. But let's face the facts together, shall we? Keep in mind there are three degrees of laziness according to my mother. You can be 1) lazy 2) pure lazy 3) pure DE lazy.

I don't have a job. I don't stay home to take care of kids. I stay home to stay home. And I have a maid that cleans the house. I do cook dinner, but that's about it. I don't even do the dishes.
I eat ice cream at night when I know I'll just get fatter. I down it with Diet Coke. I figure that helps a little.
I get up every day whenever I please, usually around 7:30. I sit in the recliner until I get hungry. I get up to let out the dogs, let in the dogs, get something to eat, answer the phone (I don't always do this one) and get the remote. I spend most of the day with the laptop in my lap surfing the web. I'm learning a lot of things that will never profit anyone but me.
I have a lot of interests but no real hobbies, unless you count blogging. I have some friends but they know I am too lazy to write them lately. Most of my friends are online, because the ones I know locally might get too close and want me to get out of the house and go somewhere with them, and I've have to get out of my nightgown to do that.
I do accomplish something every now and then to keep myself from being a total loss. I take a class. I do the laundry. I rearrange the books in the bookshelves. I take the dogs to the groomer. But mostly, my recliner has become my best friend.
I think I'm cruising somewhere between lazy and pure lazy. I don't think I'm to the "pure DE lazy" yet.
Yes, friends, I'm big, fat, and lazy. I like being this way, so I'm probably not apt to change any time soon. I'm also complacent. I don't hate everybody though. That one was unfair. I admit I wouldn't want to live with just anybody. I prefer quiet people with low energy, like me.