The Fabric Stores Love Me

It's getting really close to time for the baby to come. I have canceled appointments so I am free for most of June and July. I am both anxious and excited. I'm sure my daughter is too. On one hand, we want to get the baby here. On the other hand, we worry about how she will do. My daughter writes to a lady who's son was at the NICU when we toured there. He also has CDH and had been in there for some time. My daughter wrote her to get an update and found out he had died. But he was one of the worse cases they had seen.

Right now, I'm on a sewing kick. I made a pillow today, and I think it turned out well. I was happy with it. The new sewing machine sews great. The old one that I just had tuned up was sewing good at first, then started getting threads all bound up in the bobbin area. I tried everything I knew but nothing worked. I just switched to the new machine, and finished it on there.

I made that duvet cover and still need to make a bed skirt, curtains, and pillows for our bedroom. All in time.

I'm up at 130 in the morning because for some reason, I just can't sleep tonight. My brain won't shut up. ha. Some days are like that. My mind jumps from one thing to the next. I feel like I have to be doing something every minute of the day. I'm either on the computer or watching tv (usually both of those at once), or cleaning, or sewing, or calling my friend, Dawn. I am terrified of just sitting and doing nothing. I've been shopping way too much lately, and we can't afford what I've been buying, so I'm trying to make up for it with my secret shopping and writing. I've submitted fifteen articles in May for Associated Content on everything from Mormons to choosing a refrigerator. Pretty much anything I see on tv that gives me an idea I research and write about.

Between my secret shopping, writing, and my clothes at the consignment shop, I should be able to pay down my credit cards, which I have cut up to stop the spending. It called for drastic measures. I wonder why people shop compulsively. I shop compulsively, eat compulsively, and also obsess abut whatever my current interest is, and for right now it's sewing. Before I went through phases on studying the Dulcimer, making jewelry, scrap booking, collecting books, studying different religions, whatever my latest kick happens to be. I pick something, think about it all the time, collect everything I can to read on the subject, buy everything I need to have to do it with, and then quickly move on to something else. I don't know why I do it. A psychic friend said I am in an information gathering stage in my life. All I know is it doesn't feel normal.

My therapist told me a few weeks ago that there are actually "some
people who do nothing and never are bored." I just stared at her. She repeated it. I still stared. I still don't get that. I think if I'm not busy, I'd go stir-crazy.
I love being holed up in this house, only going out when I absolutely have to, and otherwise just isolating here. It's comfortable to me.

It seems like there has been a wide range of bad luck this year. If I knew anything about horoscopes I would figure it's got to have something to do with that. First my friend's divorce, my daughter's baby's birth defect, her husbands business problems, now her best friend got laid off this week, her brother in law is having problems that affect them, the list goes on and on. I really feel like I desperately need a cruise, badly, or at least a weekend at a retreat somewhere. But oh well....Maybe later.