Rapping Grandma and Brain Funk

I managed to lose the two pounds I gained on Prednisone and am down one extra.

My youngest son is a DJ. He called my mother, age 78, last night and had her rap on the radio. First he had to help her "prepare." Then they did the actual recording. It was too funny not to have it on here.

The therapist told me to read Self Matters by Dr. Phil. It said you were suppose to list ten defining moments in your life, events that changed you even though they were probably not memorable to others. I told the therapist I hadn't done that yet, because what if I had more than ten? And how would I narrow them down? What if I couldn't think of ten? So she told me to throw the perfectionism out the window and just do it. If I got five or twenty-five--didn't matter, just make a short list of a few words about what each event was. I did that. Then I go back to reading the book. Dr Phil says you have to go back to each item, think about how you were feeling, who was there, what happened, smells, sights, sounds, your thoughts, etc. I told her I hadn't tackled that part yet. She quickly said for me NOT to do that at home. I should only do that in her office with her. Of course, my first thought was....Why? Do you think I can't do this myself without cracking up? Or do you think I won't do it right? My brain marches to it's own drummer most of the time, and the drummer is nuts. ha. So I'll take my little list and go there next week and see how it goes.

Yesterday, I called my mom and told her I was going to come down and visit her AND MY SISTER one day soon. I have seen my sister less than a handful of times in ten or twelve years. I think I have grown enough through the therapy process to do this. No, I didn't ask the therapist about it. I just mentioned it to my mom to see if I would be welcome in my sister's home and to give them time to talk it over. Of course, my mom said it was a great idea. But then, she hasn't talked to my sister yet. So we'll see. I'd like to make peace with everyone in my life. Not necessarily deep relationships, just peace would be fine.

I also told the therapist that I'm back to the "my house is so cluttered, it's driving me nuts" period in my life I go through now and then. She said it's controlling the things outside myself when I feel I can't control the inside. I'm not sure I understand that.

I'm also suppose to start becoming more aware of my ego strength or emotional strength. Like, when I have to go out in a social setting and make conversation with people I am uncomfortable around, I come home exhausted, emotional strength =0 or 1. When I feel great, can't wait to get up and get out there and have lunch with friends and join groups and socialize, supposedly a 10. I recognize the pits. I don't recognize anything in between. I guess that's why I'm suppose to try to become more aware of it. This is another one I don't know how to do.

Well, we missed the debate last night because of American Idol and Biggest Loser, so I'm going to go watch it now. Have you wondered why it's "McCain" and "Obama" and "Hillary?" Why call her by her first name and the guys by their last names? Senator Clinton, you go girl!