No More Shoes!

I went to see my therapist today (first time since September). This is the lady I've been seeing off and on for years, and she works in the office with my psychiatrist. Since the whole mania thing came up, I've been worried about it, so I decided to go see her and talk about it. After a long relentless discussion with her asking me a billion questions, she says no, I'm not manic. At least she doesn't think so. (The doctor will have to confirm that in January.)

She reminded me of the big breakthrough of confronting my mom on the phone when I was in the hospital, and finally telling her how I feel about things. Since then I've felt very peaceful. It's like regardless of what happens with my mom and sister, I feel good about things now. I spoke my peace. I apologized for my part. I told my mom I needed to have her tell me she loves me (and she does now every time we talk.) I overcame a huge hurdle.

The therapist feels that is the reason my depression is gone. She thinks that's the reason that I feel more confident. And she said she's seen in her practice that as low as your issues seem to hold you captive, that's the distance you usually swing the other way once you've dealt with them.

I told her I was afraid the depression would come back, but she doesn't think so. She said to continue being active, getting out socially, exercising, and eating healthy, and my new habits should keep me healthy.

I can't tell you how much better I felt just talking to her. It's hard to enjoy feeling good when you are always worried that the other shoe is going to drop.