Prostitutes and Frostys

Busy, busy week. Three family birthdays, two doctor's appointments including the ol' annual physical, consoling a friend, a ton of laundry I never got to over the weekend, and on it goes.

I made a decision to turn off my computer and television every morning so I could make myself get off my butt and clean my house. So how is that going? I get up, work hard for about thirty minutes, and then collapse on the couch with BOTH the computer and the television on, and argue with myself over how lazy I must be, why can't I get this done, etc. etc.

I only had the cleaning lady once before she had knee surgery, and I really want to get EVERYTHING here clean at one time like she did, but the part of me that used to be able to clean the house from top to bottom in one day seems to have gotten lost somewhere through the years.

My friend called to tell me that she's a horrible person and all the reasons why, and I consoled her telling her how she's awesome (and meant it) and how she should stop beating herself up. All the time I'm beating myself up about all the things I should have done this week but didn't because I have no willpower, instead of being glad for all I DID accomplish this week. I also realized my grandmother is talking in my head. For instance, I haven't put away the last load of laundry yet, although it is folded in the basket. My grandmother's voice in my head says, "You haven't DONE the laundry until it's put away."

Lightning hit our internet box last weekend, so instead of taking that as a gift from God to get me to clean my house, I start searching frantically for an unsecured connection in the neighborhood I can use until my son comes over to hook up the new box.

My friend was complaining about her house being so cluttered, and how a lady from her church reminded her that "God is a God of order." I told her if he loves prostitutes and tax collectors, he surely loves us in spite of our messy houses.
So I have the best of intentions, really. I just lack motivation or energy or gumption or something. I am so jealous of people who start projects and finish them.

The doctor says I have Roseacea, and gave me this fantastic stuff called Metrogel that, in less than a week, is helping take away the redness. I add that to give hope to anyone reading this with Roseacea. He also said I had lost five pounds since I was there a month ago. That is a miracle. As I was talking to my friend, she said, "Hold on...I'll have a large Frosty." She was in the drive-thru at Wendy's. All I could think of was going to get me a Frosty so I would feel better, too. But I had a piece of strawberry cake instead.