To Whom it May Concern,
I hereby resign my position with this company, effective today. I'll work the two week notice if you insist, although every fiber of my being wants to leave here today and never see any of your faces again.
I would like to say I have enjoyed working here. But lying isn't a good thing to do. And that statement would be a huge lie. This place is the crappiest place I've ever worked. Why?
1.) If I had wanted to work in a war zone, I'd enlist and go to Iraq.
2.) No matter how organized I am, no matter how early I come in each morning or leave late, there is no human way to get everything done I've been assigned to do, and I've stopped caring.
3.) Boiling in hot oil is preferable to coming here another day. Heck, I'd almost rather have a mammogram than come here.
4.) Cubicle Gray is not a good color for me.
5.) I've stopped looking forward to anything about this job except weekends and vacations.
6.) Staying home, cleaning house, and cooking sounds like much more fun.
7.) I've counted the days I'd have to work to stay here until Christmas, and that's too many days. One day is too many days.
8.) I'm sick of our main conversation in the office being who won the football game over the weekend.
9.) You pray and teach a Sunday School lesson for the entire staff at every meeting, then flip on Sexual Healing on the intercom for our listening entertainment.
10.) I'd rather be a garbage man than your secretary.
So, if you could read and understand without someone having to translate for you, you'd know what I'm really saying is you can take this job and #$%&*@.
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