Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone

That title is the name of an old country song for those youngun's who never heard it. But it fits here.
Yesterday, while searching for pictures to put in my scrapbooking, I found a large manila envelope. It was tucked in that drawer with scarves and other stuff I never wear. I had forgotten all about it. Inside, were a stash of old love letters, pictures of past boyfriends, and copies of some of my letters to them. I spent the next two hours looking through this stuff.
I discovered that I used to be a whiny, begging, clingy, spineless thing that let men treat her like doodie. I listened to myself in some of those letters and thought, like Dr. Phil says, "Man, O, Man, Girl! What were you thinkin'!"
It really helped me to see how far I've come. If someone treated me now, like some did then, they'd have been calling a plastic surgeon to figure out how to get the imprint of my foot out of their backside.
How much of this is because I've really come a long way, and how much is because I got a good guy who would never think of treating me bad, and I've just come to realize that I never had to put up with that. I think the real reason is, until I met this one, deep down I didn't think I deserved better. I spent the first six months of our relationship thinking this guy is too good to be true, and the next six months thinking, he is really that good and I sure don't deserve him. I also thought if he ever finds out about the real me, and some of the things I've done, he'll run for the hills. I fessed up. He didn't run. He's a keeper.
I know they say we should look forward and not back, but sometimes it helps to take a look over the shoulder and see how far back some things are, and how we changed directions.