I saw an eye surgeon yesterday and he thinks he can fix my eyes. I have had an eye that drifts over to the side when I am tired or don't feel well. I can hold them straight with some effort and attention to it, but as I get older, it's more of a strain. Also, because of this, I wear heavy prisms in my glasses. The eye doctor said they can't put in any more prism than they have now, because there is just no way to add any more to a lense. And I can't see with what I have now, at least not small print like phone books or newspapers. So we're left with surgery, which he says will correct it in 75% of cases like mine. That leaves 25% that have to have a second surgery. I'm willing to take that chance.
All my life, I've avoided looking directly at people, because I was so self conscious that my eyes might not stay straight and I'd gross them out. Of course, my family and friends are used to it. I think it would be a real blessing in my life to be able to look someone directly in the eye when I talk to them. That surgery is scheduled for the middle of August.
Tonight my stepdaughter and son-in-law are coming over for dinner. I am seriously considering a Stouffer Chicken Lasagna and a salad. It's good. We like it, and they are not choosy. So we'll see how it goes over.
And our best news today is we are mailing the check to pay off our only credit card. That right there is cause for celebration. Yoooo Hoooooo!
Last night we met my daughter for dinner. When she got there, I could tell she was sort of stressed, having just gotten through a very hectic day at work. I know she's been dealing with another family issue that has taken up many of her evenings lately. To me she looked a little pale. I worry that she doesn't take care of herself. I've worried about her ever since she was a preemie. She's always been little. I've always thought of her as my "little bitty". So when she only ate about a third of her very low cal dinner, I was concerned.
I told her she hadn't eaten anything. I also told her when we walked to the car that she needed to go home and rest and "eat some protein". Then I read her blog entry that she'd been getting a lot of rude comments about her weight, and my comments just threw some more fuel on the fire. I really meant well, because I worry about her working so hard. She has told me about stressed she gets at work sometimes. But her blog entry started me doing some self-examination. Do I resent my own daughter for being little when I've battled with my weight all my life? I think the honest answer is yes, not just her but anyone who seems to just naturally be thin. Losing weight has been my big mountain to conquer forever. I hate it. I get sick of it. I get sick of thinking about it. I get mad for not thinking about it. It's extremely frustrating. But she made me realize that I may have taken it out on her at times. And I'm sorry for that.
Truth be told, I think she is absolutely perfecto. And I'm very proud of her.
2 comments:
I'm sitting here eating a brownie, if that eases your mind any :-)
Thanks for worrying about me. I know you always mean well and would never say anything to intentionally hurt me.
My post wasn't directed at you. What you said at dinner made me start thinking of things people have said to me over the years, and things my cousin said to me last week. So I decided to write a post about it and rant a little. That's what blogs are for!
Good luck with your eye surgery.
It's interesting to read both your daughter and your blog entries, I think it's awful the way that people now a days are so obssessed with the way they look, and knowing that I buy into it all to makes it that much worse!
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