90 Questions

I borrowed this idea from "A Girl from Texas".

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT. Scar on inside of calf right above my ankle. It was my first attempt at shaving my legs at twelve.
2. NAME 7 THINGS IN YOUR ROOM. Dulcimer, dresser, bed, nightstands, desk, bookcase, rug.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE? Flip camera phone, Nokia.
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO? Depends on my mood; mostly instrumentals, like acoustic guitar.
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? It was four in the afternoon. My dad was out buying tires for the car.
6. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FORWARD TO THE MOST IN THE NEXT 6 MONTHS? My fiftieth birthday.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? People I've lost contact with through the years.
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION? My Granny's hairbrush and glasses.
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? Lavendar
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Yes in MRI machines.
11. IF YOU DIED TOMORROW: I'd hope someone would remember me and smile.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? Just general work situation.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME? L'Aire du Temp by Nina Ricci
WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Clean hair.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO ? At a lakeside cabin under the trees watching the stars, although the most romantic one I did receive was in a booth at Darryl's years ago.
16. DO YOU LIKE PORN? Yuck.
17. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD? My husband, tonight, I think. Long story.
18. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE? No.
19. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU? I remember dolls at Christmas. Lots of dolls.
20. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? I don't think falling in love is a choice.
21. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? Open your mouth, look in their eyes and say the words.
22. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 19
23. WHAT IS THE LAST TEXT MSG YOU RECEIVED? My son texted me instructions on getting my wireless internet to work at a coffee shop I was in.
24. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN? I don't call anyone often.
25. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? Phone calls except from a choice few.
26. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE US? Yes, England and Mexico.
27. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Chocolate, hairy chest, sweet talk. ha.
28. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Huntsville AL
29. FIRST JOB? Gopher for a Credit Bureau
30. WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? A teacher. Boy was I wrong.
31. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY? Trying to go to sleep and not succeeding.
32. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Tummy tuck.
33. WHY DID YOU FILL THIS SURVEY OUT? I hope others who read my blog will know me better, and then they'll answer and let me know them better.
34. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? My green eyes.
35. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL? Start growing grapes. ha.
36. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? A week all alone, but I won't get it.
37. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? Got all I want now. They are great.
38. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope, my mom just liked names short and sweet.
39. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Definitely.
40. IF YOU COULD PUT 5 BANDS TOGETHER TO PLAY A CONCERT, WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE? Led Zeppelin, James Taylor (not a band exactly), Alabama, Bread, Eagles.
41. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? A couple of months ago. Stressed out at work and major PMS.
42. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes
43. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO RETIRE? Somewhere warm.
44. ANY BAD HABITS? eat too much. Exercise too little.
45. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF? Don't know.
46. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. If I let me close enough. (That sounds weird).
47. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL? Probably. No one is perfect.
48. DO LOOKS MATTER? less than they used to.
49. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? cry.
50. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? Dont have one.
51. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY? Too easily.
52. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Chatty Cathy or Barbie.
53. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? forty or so. Only use about ten of them.
54. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Yes, a lot.
55. EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT? Nope.
56. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? Ability to have a peaceful relationship and go with the flow.
57. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Kath, Kat, Kathy Kat, and Mom.
58. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
59. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU HAVE STRONG POINTS? Sure. I'm non-judgemental comes to mind first.
60. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? CHOCOLATEEEEE
61. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE? 7 1/2
62. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS? pink blue
63. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE? none. Had 'em yanked years ago.
64. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW? Honestly? Romance, I think.
65. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? Yes all my blog buddies please do.
66. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Train whistle.
67. LAST THING YOU ATE? Ham sandwich.
68. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Mom
69. IF YOU WERE GIVEN $100, WHAT WOULD YOU GO BUY? probably beads or books.
70. WHAT QUALITIES MAKE A MAN IRRESISTABLE? A guy who TALKS to me from his heart, and who would rather do that than watch tv.
71. WHO DO YOU THINK IS OVERRATED? Christmas.
72. FAVORITE DRINK? Diet Pepsi Vanilla
73. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Wine.
74. WHAT ARE YOUR NEW YEARS EVE PLANS? Stay home.
75. WHERE WAS YOUR LAST VACATION? Cruise I guess.
76. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Music, art, nature, heartfelt conversation.
77. SIBLINGS? One, who I haven't talked to in twelve years, her choice.
78. FAVORITE MONTH? November. Love Fall.
79. YOU LIKE SUSHI? No
80. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I Walk the Line
81. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? My birthday
82. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Actually did this once when i was single. Met this guy who used to work on my computers and thought he was very interesting. I sent him an email (chicken!) and said Would you like to have dinner some time? No reply. A month later I got one back and from the dates on the original, somehow he hadn't gotten it until then. He said "sure, I'd love to. call me." By then I was dating Steve so I never replied.
83. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
84. KISSES OR HUGS? Hugs
85. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? I'm married so it would be relationships.
86. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Tao tse Ching, from hearing about it in Million Little Pieces.
87. WHERE DO YOU WORK? Writing for Assoc Content now and then.
88. WHATS YOUR MAJOR? I majored in math.
89. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Desperate Housewives (Go Bree!) and Grey's Anatomy (go Meredith! You showed him!)
90. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE UP? I'm tired. Where's my diet coke?

Thank You MattieG!

I decided what to do with some of my short story money. My friend Cathy is a very talented painter and has a website with some of her artwork. Because she is so gifted and because she is one of my "bestest friends in the whole world", I wanted very much to have one of her paintings. It arrived today!. I went right out and bought a frame for it. Isn't it pretty? It's so nice to have talented friends, and this will be a keepsake that I'll always treasure. That's exactly the kind of thing I wanted to use my first writing money to buy.

Walking the Line

I have been getting phone calls from people at work, people who just can't stand the idea that I just left without something terrible happening, something someone must have done, something that has a to have a good juicy story behind it.....so they call, and call, and call. My son answers and says I'm not available. It's driving them nuts. Now they leave voice mails saying, "Please just call and tell me what happened? Did someone do something?" My first inclination is to just leave a message on the phone saying, "If you are calling from my former workplace, here's what happened...I quit. I don't work there anymore. Stop calling me!"
I am loving being home. I decided I needed a new hobby. I looked in Hobby Lobby's sale paper and found they have jewelry supplies half price. I thought if Lisa on Starting Over can make jewelry, and she's an idiot, then maybe I can. So I went down there and bought some stuff, made a few pieces, went back and bought some more, made some more. By now my husband is getting interested in what I am doing and he says I should make some for the kids at Christmas. I said I have everything I need except this particular set of pliers that would make this all so much easier, and we agree to go get them at Hobby Lobby before going to get groceries. Well, eighty dollars later (after they took the 50% off), he has bought me pliers, and a pile of beads, jewelry settings, sterling silver stuff, storage boxes for all the beads, etc etc. So now I'm set. Don't know what I 'm going to do with all this stuff after the kids get what they want, but I figure maybe I can sell some on Ebay or something.
We went last night to see Walk the Line. I grew up with country music, whether I wanted to or not, and I whined and complained about it all during my teenage years while my parents had Hank Williams or Chet Atkins or Tammy Wynette blaring on the stereo. But somehow it stuck. When I took up the dulcimer and found all the music for hymns, celtic songs, and country tunes, the country ones ended up making me feel like I was "coming home". So seeing a movie about Johnny Cash and remembering the words to all the songs was pretty cool. Of course, Reese Witherspoon sang a lot better than June Carter ever did, really. But who can beat that deep voice of Johnny Cash? "Because you're mine....I walk the Lineeeeee". Good movie.
Next week all my kids will be home for Thanksgiving, except my step-daughter in Florida. I'm cooking. Menu is Honeybaked Ham, Honeybaked Turkey Breast, Hashbrown Casserole, Broccoli Cheese Casserole, Gingerbread Pumpkin Trifle, Cranberry Relish, Cornbread Dressing, Gravy, Deviled Eggs, Coconut Cake and good ol' Southern Sweet Iced Tea. I'll start cooking on Thursday and we are having dinner on Saturday. I'm really looking forward to it.
Cathy was right. I'm much happier being home than I ever was at work!

Me and Hubby in Savannah. Hair was shorter then and much grayer than now. I cut out the family members who wish to remain incognito (plumbtuckered).

Once a Jerk, Always a Jerk

A friend called me tonight and told me she filed divorce papers today. I guess the polite thing to do would to have been to view it as a bad thing and tell her how sorry I was, but the truth is, I wanted to yell yeeee-hawww and wave my hat in the air. She's been married thirty years to a huge jerk. She has no self-esteem, has not known any love or friendship or affection or emotional support from this man as long as I've known her (24 yrs). Recently she asked what they were going to do to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary and he stared at her like she had lost her mind and said, "Not a damn thing." And they didn't.
She has had NO life for so long that she doesn't even realize how bad it is. Or she hadn't. Until last week. She's mentioned divorce a few times, but always felt it was "wrong in the eyes of God" even though this slug slept with her sister the first year they were married (she forgave them both) and had sex with a woman in the hospital bathroom when their child was in the hospital very ill (again, she forgave). Well both of those were years ago. Since then they've lived together and had no real marriage, other than both being at home with the kids. As her friend, I've wanted to give her a wake up call, but you really can't make anyone do anything to help themselves until they're ready.
Well it turns out their nineteen year old son overheard Dad on the phone with his girlfriend the other day (Dad thought no one was home) and confronted his father. Of course, he denied it, and the kid began to wonder if he was wrong. So instead of telling his mom his "suspicions" he decided to find out the facts. He did some investigating, found out from some folks that worked with "Dad" that the girlfriend is twenty-three and has slept with pretty much every man at the plant, and that yes, Dad is one of her steadies. So he sat Dad up. He waited until everyone was gone from home and then snuck back in his bedroom window and listened to Dear Ol' Dad calling up the girlfriend and planning their next escapade. He then confronted Dad again, and of course he got very very defensive this time, even standing up in his son's face and telling him he did not have to listen to him. At which point, son pushed Dad back down into the chair and told him yes, he was going to listen. He then told Dad exactly what kind of man and father he was.
Well the son told his Mom, who didn't seem that upset over it (I think she was probably rejoicing over finding a true Christian-accepted reason for divorcing his sorry ass). Then the older daughters came to her and told her they also knew about Dad's philandering. Turns out a lot of the family has known but didn't tell her.
So she found a lawyer, paid him with her money she's put back from the grocery money for awhile now (Yes, my idea), and he is filling out the papers, saying it's a no-fault divorce, she gets all the property and savings, plus child support and alimony and he has to pay her health insurance. Lawyer said not to mention it to him until she picks up the papers, and then to say, "You can either sign these like they are, or we can go to court, and I'm bringing in all of our grown children and your co-workers to prove your adultery, and you will pay all of the court costs and my lawyer fees."
He doesn't know what's about to hit him. He doesn't even know he's about to get a divorce. Yeeeee Hawwwwww.

It's Me From A to Z

Me from A to Z
I stole this from Amy who stole it from Nora.
A is for Age – 49 and holding, until May anyway
B is for Booze – glass of wine with dinner occasionally
C is for Career – Newly appointed domestic goddess, previous secretary, previous high school math teacher, past entreprenuer, and current aspiring writer.
D is for Dad's Name- Richard
E is for Essential items to bring to a party-My husband alwayts takes pasta salad to everything. He makes it. It's good.
F is for Favorite song at the moment - Anything played by David Schnaufer
G is for Goof off thing to do –google everything I can think of.
H is for Hometown – Huntsville AL
I is for Instrument you play – Dulcimer
J is for Jam or Jelly you like – Strawberry, or Pear
K is for Kids – mine!
L is for Living arrangement – Husband, middle son, and dog Rags
M is for Mom’s name –
N is for Name of best friend – Cathy and Dawn
O is for Overnight Stay in a Hospital – Bunches and bunches of times!
P is for Phobias – Heights, bugs, going down stairs
Q is for Quote you like –Does the chicken have talons?
R is for Relationship that lasted longest – First husband and my children's father- 20 yrs
S is for Siblings – One sister, four years older, a lot meaner. ha.
T is for Texas, ever been? – Only through the airport.
S is for Unique trait – Good at Algebra, does that count? ha.
V if for Vegetable you love – Potatoes
W is for Worst traits – Isolating myself
X- is for X-rays you’ve had – all over
Y is for Yummy food you make – Pina Colada Coconut Cake (I hope my daughter takes this. She makes Do-Do Cookies. ha)
Z is for Zodiac sign – Taurus or Gemini, depending on which magazine it's in. May 21

I got the check

I received my first check for my writing. It's for a short story I sold to the HerStory book. Payment was $200 and two free copies of the book. I've sold a couple since then but haven't gotten the money yet. So what do I do with the money? I want to do something special with it.
When my grandmother died, as with many older folks, we found money stashed away in her dresser drawers. One thing we found but didn't expect was a bundle of envelopes, marked "Christmas" with each of our names on them. Inside mine was a $20 bill. I don't know what I did with that money. I always wished I had something I could hold and say my grandmother bought this for me after she died...
So I'm bound and determined to buy something with this money that I can keep. Any ideas?

Needs No Explanation

Domestic Goddess

Roseanne Barr may have coined that phrase, but I've taken it to new levels this week!
The only thing I regret about leaving that job is it taking me sooo long to do it. Isn't that the way it is with most things we wrestle with? Fear keeps us in it a lot longer than it should. And usually we don't know what the fear is OF. If my fear was being afraid of not liking being at home, I was wrong! Today I went to the library. Yesterday I sat on my butt. Both were fantastic days.
While I was gone to the library I got a call from one of the people at work. She left a message. She wanted to know how I did something at work. You know...those little things we do that everyone takes for granted until there is no one there to do it? One of those...
Anyway, she said to call her and tell her how to do this and then she added, at the end...."We're not mad at you." Ok, that infuriated me. Mad at ME? Excuse me? So I decided to handle it by doing my normal dodge routine...I deleted her message and figured while they are spending so much time figuring out they are not mad at me, they can just figure out those little things they took for granted when I took care of them....evil grin.....
My house is clean....my dog had a bath today and is all fluffy and sweet, I have a great supper planned, I bought a new journal, I have some great books stockpiled to read, Gilmore Girls comes on tonight, I got an email from my bud Cathy, my daughter made it back safe and sound from Ohio, and I got David Schnaufer to sign my David Schnaufer model dulcimer when we saw him in concert on Saturday. Nothing could rain on this parade right now.

Guess what??

I quit my JOBBBBBBBB today! Effective......IMMEDIATELY. I sat there looking at the clock, thinking of what a crappy week I had this week, thinking of how glad I was it was Friday, and then I had this nice weekend to look forward to....smile.....Saturday, .......ahhhhh......Sunday.....and then...Oh God( good mood fading to black)....MONDAY and BACK to this HELLHOLE, and a thought occurred to me.....what ....if....I....just....don't....come......BACK!
Then I opened an email from my bud Cathy, and in it she said...."So what is it that is keeping you from quitting? Is it that you're afraid you won't be happy just being at home? Well I can tell you, you were a much happier person when I first met you than you are NOW with this JOB that you HATE!" So....I do what I do when I am trying to make up my mind and I already have Cathy's opinion and I need one more and I can't get in touch with my daughter....I called my husband...and he agreed with Cathy. "No, you're not happy there. Then he said, Jeez, , it's not like if you get bored at home later and want to go back to work you can't find another job that you actually LIKE." And I realized....they are RIGHT.
So then I was faced with....how do I do this? Do I just walk out and not show up Monday? Evil grin...how cool would that be....then I thought they'll call and call and wonder...and I sure don't want to deal with THAT. So I sent an EMAIL to my boss who is out of town...and I told him this week I did this and did that...and you need to contact this guy on Monday and la ti da..and then I said and by the way, I quit effective immediately. I left my letter of resignation on your desk, my keys are in the tray on your office door....I know not giving you any notice makes me not eligible for rehire and that's fine...and please respect my wishes, don't call me about this, and mail me my final check.
The end. Short and to the point.
I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Haaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

It's Like a Slam Book! How fun!

I've been challenged by Cathy...here are my answers.

2 names you go by:
2. Forest Lady

2 parts of your heritage:
1. Cherokee
2. English

2 things that scare you:
1. Being broke
2. Dying

2 of your everyday essentials:
1. Diet Coke
2. Crisp clean sheets

2 things you are wearing right now:
1. Black pants suit
2. gold hoop earrings

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment):
1. David Schnaufer
2. LeeAnn Rimes

2 favorite songs (at the moment):
1. Silence is Golden
2. Last Date

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
1. A true friend
2. Lots of hugs and back rubs

2 truths:
1.I am fat!
2. I wish I wanted to be skinny more than I want banana splits!

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex):
1. Hairy chests
2. Deep voices

2 of your favorite hobbies:
1. Writing
2. Playing my dulcimer

2 things you want really badly:
1. To play the dulcimer really well
2. To write a novel.

2 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Italy
2. Greece

2 things you want to do before you die:
1. See my kids settled down and happy.
2. Lots of traveling

2 things you are thinking about now:
1. I want to tell my boss to kiss my .....
2. I need to go to bed. I'm exhausted.

2 stores you shop at: (I hate shopping)
1. Amazon
2. Books a Million

2 people i would like to see take this quiz:
1. Plumbtuckered
2. Amy

Take this job and ............

Our internet has been out since last week. We've been going through major withdrawal pains. I don't know how I became so addicted.
The girl that was our office manager got fired. Everyone assumed the General Mgr would offer that job to me. I sort of thought that too, especially after he called me in his office and told me to think about it, how I had the qualities needed in that job, etc. Then he goes out of town this week, and I have my job plus that job to do while he's gone. Nothing like throwing you to the wolves. He sent me emails constantly giving me more and more instructions. Then today he calls and says he met a girl where he is doing the training who really needs to relocate to this city and he's thinking about hiring her for the job. I'm hurt, mad, and feel really used.
I've been killing myself all week doing two jobs, getting training in various parts of the office manager job, and taking care of all of his problems. Now he's decided to let me take care of things until he can get this new girl moved.
Well, I emailed him and told him by all means offer it to her, that I'm perfectly happy doing the job I have now, which by the way is being really neglected since I'm doing two jobs, and that he better get someone immediately because I can't do two jobs alone.
I came home so angry and with such an upset stomach, which I've had ALL week. I can't eat without my stomach hurting. So maybe I'll just tell them to take this job and ..............................
Then he can hire two girls from his training workshop. He can start a collection.

To Beeee Or Not to Beeeee

I tend to go back and forth from wanting to be home to wanting to go back to work to wanting to be home. It's easy to understand right now, because I'm in it, why I want to quit work. It's a pain in the ass, it's hard work, it's hard to get up early and have no time to myself. It's work, come home, watch boring tv, go to bed, get up, go to work, etc etc all week. The weekends I spend dreading Monday and watching the time click by knowing Monday is getting closer and closer. I think of all the things I could do if I was home. I think of how obnoxious some of the people at work can be, how I feel like I'm not included in anything, like I'm an outsider, like no one notices what I do, or cares. My check comes and is gone and then it's another week to go through. I feel like my life is going by. Is this really how I want to be spending the remainder of my life?

Turning fifty means thinking more seriously about that kind of thing. So I decided to quit my job, felt peace about it, momentarily at least, but then the same old doubts started again (Does this mean I don't trust myself to make a decision? Or that I don't know what I want?).
So I decided that part of the problem is I never really "adjust" mentally to being at home, to accepting retirement as a positive thing. I think it happens to many many people when they retire from work. When a younger woman decides to quit work to stay at home, she's usually doing so to be with her children. So basically she's going from one job to another job. When a woman my age quits work to stay at home, she has to fill her time and find her sense of fulfillment in other ways. That's what I failed to do last time.

I had a teacher tell me a long time ago that you have to make a decision, and then make it be the right decision. There's a lot of common sense in that. I have to make being at home a rich, rewarding, enjoyable experience. How do I do that?

Well I came up with a few ideas. One is I can't use being at home as an excuse to let myself go, to stop caring about how I look or how I dress. I think getting up and having a routine, including dressing, doing my hair, etc, is important to feeling good about each new day. Then I have to spend some time doing tasks that need to be done, without expecting perfection or completion. Like cleaning the house, decluttering, running errands. I tend to get frustrated if I clean out one drawer but don't have time to clean out every closet in the house. Or if I get the refrigerator cleaned out but don't have time (or inclination) to do the entire kitchen. But I think having some time to do tasks each day, whatever I can get done in that length of time, is the key.

Then I get the rewards of being home, having the rest of the day to do the things I want to do, which right now include practicing my dulcimer, reconnecting with old friends, developing a spiritual life that is meaningful to me (whatever that means), writing, photography, day trips to places I've wanted to go see, journaling, music, watching movies my husband won't watch, and just having some time alone. The problem with me is I feel like I have to be doing something to be valuable. I have to figure out a way to feel valuable by just being.

If this sounds like hooey, it's because my mind actually thinks like hooey at times. ha.
If anyone has any answers for me, I'm ready for suggestions.

Ahhh...the Weekend

This is me doing my usual weekend thing.. The book is "A Million Little Pieces".

Soup Temper Tantrum

All of you have been so faithful to keep reading even though lately I've mostly had the "office from hell" stories everyday.
Well today I have TWO. (I promise these will be ending soon when I quit).
A nurse they hired (I worked with her at another company before this one) quit today. She's been working THREE weeks. She said it didn't take her long to size up this office, and she told the manager, "You have no management skills, you've caused division among all the workers, you've put people who are ill-equipped into positions of power and they abuse it, and I just refuse to sit here another day in this sinking ship, because this business doesn't stand a chance."
She said everything I wanted to say but would never have the courage to say. Now I can quit and feel good because at least they got TOLD.
Second story...one of the women who was ill-equipped for her position of power, found out I was going to get a take out plate for lunch, and announced she wanted me to get her something too. After she did, several other people also had orders. No problem. One of the other girls offered to go with me to get it to help. Miss Ill-Equipped griped over the menu for awhile, and then finally decided to get broccoli cheese soup. I went into her office and ordered it all on the phone with her reading me the orders. We went to picked up the food. It was in a big cardboard box, with each person's food in a separate bag stapled at the top. We get back to the office, everyone sits down and begins eating and she looks at her's and says, This is NOT Broccoli CHEESE soup. This is POTATO soup. I don't eat potatoes. I said, "Oh I'm sorry. You heard me order the right kind. I guess they mixed it up. You're welcome to share mine. I have more than I'll ever eat." She glared at me and stood up, pushing her chair up against the wall and stormed past me muttering, "I guess I'll just have to go back and change it myself!"
Well everyone cut their eyes at each other but no one said anything. We went on eating. By the time she got back, we were done and cleaning up our mess. She plopped her "soup" down on the table and said, "Wonderful! Now you're all done, aren't you, and I have to eat my lunch by MYSELF. That's just wonderful!" Then she plopped down and glared at me again. By now I'm feeling really bad that she is mad at me. I happened to see her open her "exchanged soup" and that wasn't broccoli cheese soup either. But I wasn't going to get through her glare to ask her about it. She refused to speak to me all afternoon. I'm beginning to think these people are totally nuts.

Better than Dilbert...

Actual conversations in our office yesterday.....

"Who was on call over the weekend?"
"Sharlene but she was drunk so they called me."
"Why didn't they call Chuck?"
"He had his head up his ass and wouldn't answer his cell."

"Everyone come in my office. We're ready to have the meeting."
"Will this take long?"
(From over behind another cubicle) "Don't anyone talk or ask questions!"
"Lets see..You're ordering office supplies here with the credit card, right?"
"Yeah, can I also do some shopping at Victoria's Secret while I have the company card?"(office dumb blonde)
"Sure if you can get the models to come model it for me.......Does anyone have any special needs they want to mention before before I close us in prayer?"

"The other office we visited stocks Cokes in their refrigerator for everyone."
"Don't know about that....maybe Beer though." (The prayer guy)

(8:10AM) "Is it five o'clock yet?"

"How was your weekend?"
"I start getting depressed every Sunday around supper time because I realize I have to come back to this hell hole."

Dilbert has no idea......

Fences and Neighbors

We live in a townhouse, which means out back we have a courtyard with a brick wall adjoining the lady next door's courtyard. I moved here in April of 2000. I've seen her outside maybe fifty times and said hello and she just keeps going. I keep trying. This is ALA freaking BAMA lady. Here we have southern hospitality and all that good stuff. As far as that goes, we don't know a single neighbor. We're neat and quiet so I know we don't offend anyone. What gives?
My boss told me today I can have Thanksgiving off or Christmas but not both. ha ha ha I said give me Thanksgiving and I'll quit before Christmas. She thinks I'm kidding. She threatened to superglue my butt to the chair (ouch).
My youngest son called. I told him I was thinking of quitting work. He said (listen to this!) "Mom, you worked hard all those years raising us and holding down a job. You deserve to have to not work now." Let's all say ahhhhh......
My daughter is struggling desperately to find a place for our big clan to spend Christmas, so our town house won't be overflowing like last year, because she knows how much that stressed me out. She's spent a long time on this. She's also done a lot to help me through the years, and so has her husband.
I've got great kids. I know I'm a little biased but they are great kids!!!

I've Got a Secret....

I feel totally evil. Since I've decided to quit my job, it's like I have this secret no one at work knows. So when someone says we need to start doing this...and then say I'll end up being in charge of that project, I can smile and know, "Yeah you wish. I will be long gone before that comes about."
It's making work much more fun. Today I actually told my boss I didn't have time to do a task he had given me and that he needed to ask his secretary to do it. I would never have done that normally, but I thought, "Hmm..So what is he going to do? FIRE Me?" ha.
Of course, none of this makes me any less exhausted than I always am after a day there. There were still the same stresses, same conflicts, but I love thinking of everyone's reaction when they end up having to do the things they are piling on me, because I'll be long gone....

My Dream Letter of Resignation

To Whom it May Concern,

I hereby resign my position with this company, effective today. I'll work the two week notice if you insist, although every fiber of my being wants to leave here today and never see any of your faces again.
I would like to say I have enjoyed working here. But lying isn't a good thing to do. And that statement would be a huge lie. This place is the crappiest place I've ever worked. Why?
1.) If I had wanted to work in a war zone, I'd enlist and go to Iraq.
2.) No matter how organized I am, no matter how early I come in each morning or leave late, there is no human way to get everything done I've been assigned to do, and I've stopped caring.
3.) Boiling in hot oil is preferable to coming here another day. Heck, I'd almost rather have a mammogram than come here.
4.) Cubicle Gray is not a good color for me.
5.) I've stopped looking forward to anything about this job except weekends and vacations.
6.) Staying home, cleaning house, and cooking sounds like much more fun.
7.) I've counted the days I'd have to work to stay here until Christmas, and that's too many days. One day is too many days.
8.) I'm sick of our main conversation in the office being who won the football game over the weekend.
9.) You pray and teach a Sunday School lesson for the entire staff at every meeting, then flip on Sexual Healing on the intercom for our listening entertainment.
10.) I'd rather be a garbage man than your secretary.

So, if you could read and understand without someone having to translate for you, you'd know what I'm really saying is you can take this job and #$%&*@.

Top Ten Favorite Movie Quotes

Ok, everyone I know is doing this on their blogs (almost), so here are my favorite movie quotes...

1. From Shirley Valentine.....
Shirley: "Because we don't do what we want to do. We do what we have to do, and pretend it's what we want to do."

2. From Titanic......
Rose: "Well, I'm fine... I'll be fine... really."
Jack: "Really? I don't think so. They've got you trapped, Rose. And you're gonna die if you don't break free. Maybe not right away because you're strong but...Sooner or later that fire that I love about you, Rose... That fire's gonna burn out..."

3. From My Life Without Me.....

Ann writes in her journal:
THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE. :
1. Tell my daughters I love them several times.
2. Find Don a new wife who the girls like.
3. Record birthday messages for the girls for every year until they're 18.
4. Go to Whalebay Beach together and have a big picnic.
5. Smoke and drink as much as I want.
6. Say what I'm thinking.
7. Make love with other men to see what it's like.
8. Make someone fall in love with me.
9. Go and see Dad in Jail.
10. Get false nails. And do something with my hair.

4. From Pay It Forward......
Eugene: "OK. You know, I'm going to have to consult my spirit guides here, because you tell me that Trevor is withholding from you, but you won't tell me anything specific and you still want me to sit here and divine why. "
Arley: "Divine why? You always talk like that?"
Eugene: "Yes."
Arley: "You go to some big, fancy school?"
Eugene: " Yes. "
Arley: " Think you can stop rubbing my nose in it?"

5. From Bridges of Madison County....
Francesca: "And in that moment, everything I knew to be true about myself up until then was gone. I was acting like another woman, yet I was more myself than ever before."

6. From Steel Magnolias:
Truvy: I'm surprised at you Clairee, speaking about your kin that way.
Clairee: Well you know what they say, if you can't find something good to say about anyone, come and sit by me.

7. Jack in Titanic:
Well, yes, ma'am, I do... I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people. I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count.

8. From Peggy Sue Got Married...
Mother: Is Charlie pressuring you into doing things you don't think you should be doing?
Peggy Sue: What do you mean?
Mother: Peggy, you know what a penis is? Stay away from it!

9. From Beaches, when CC first sees the apartment decorated in pink:
CC Bloom: It looks like a flamingo threw up in here!

10. From "Shirley Valentine" when her Greek lover tells her how much he loves her stretch marks because they are "part of her and show life" .....
Shirley looks from him directly into camera and says, "Aren't men full of shit?"