Proud Mama Bragging

My son, Chris, aka Jason Cage is a DJ in Little Rock. His show just got syndicated, and now he's also in Charleston. Check it out at www.93sx.com
My middle son came by yesterday at lunch and brought me red roses and told me he appreciated all I had ever done for him. Aren't they pretty? Then I got a hug!
And my daughter is growing more pregnant by the day and is the cutest thing with her big tummy. I'm so proud of my kids!

Time Flies...

When I was a teenager, I met a guy through one of my aunts. Their family was friends with her family, and even though they were in another state, a lot of visting was done back and forth between them. This was the summer I was fifteen, I think. Well, this guy was so cute, and we had it bad for each other for awhile. We even talked about getting married "when I was older" which seemed very far away. He joined the military and I don't remember exactly how it all feel apart, but my memory is we just sort of drifted apart through my high school years. However, he was my first love, and you know how you don't forget that. I still have all his letters and pictures, along with a lot of other stuff I've saved through the years. (Chances are if you ever gave me a card, I still have it.)
Well, his sister found me through classmates.com, and we have been writing, sharing stories of kids and grandkids, etc. She told me her brother is now "single again" and I told her I'm very happily married. We've exchanged a lot of pictures of our family.
Well, she sent me a pic of her brother now. For over thirty years, I had pictured him the way he looked then...which was like this...


and like this:



and like this (Yes, the girl in the pictures is me.)



Well, when she sent me his picture now, I sat and stared forever and my only thought is, Oh my, I must be old.
Here is him now.



I guess it's better to keep memories as memories. At least in them, I felt young.
And yes, if you're thinking that one picture looks like we were at a motel, we were. We shared adjoining rooms with his mom, dad, sister, my aunt, another aunt, two cousins, and us. So no hanky panky. I was such a good girl then. If I had it to do over, I'd jump his bones in a second. Can't believe I passed that up....

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Sanjaya on American Idol

My husband and I are American Idol junkies. We cheer for Melinda and boo Sanjaya every week. I guess we're not the only ones who couldn't figure out why he's still there when he obviously sucks as a singer. Well my son, the DJ, has taken this anti-Sanjaya thing to a whole new level. He's vowed not to BATHE until Sanjaya gets voted off. This could get really ugly. Check it out at www.jasoncage.com

C'mon! Be Practical !! ( I hate when people say that.)

Oh well....it was a good dream while it lasted. But as is usually the case with me, practicality overrules indulgence. My husband and I had a "talk," and decided what we needed was a bed for the upstairs bedroom so that we'd have more room for family during the holidays. There went my Target shopping spree, by way of a mattress set. Again, need overrides want. What I wanted was to go to Target and walk the aisles with the gift cards burning in my palms while I picked up and looked at thousands of things before carefully picking out what I wanted to buy. Then carrying the bags into the house and sitting down on the couch and going through each of them one by one.
On one hand, I hate shopping. I hate going to the store to buy something practical, like a coat, or groceries, or garbage bags, or mattresses. But I love shopping when it's just for the pure joy of deciding what I want, not what I need.
I shouldn't complain too much though, because I know what kind of shopper I really am...the guilty kind. Two weeks after I would have had my major Target shopping spree, I would have looked around at the things I bought and thought...Gee, I didn't really NEED that. If I hadn't bought that, I could still have the shopping spree to look forward to. I don't have anywhere to put the stuff I bought anyway. I would wish I had my gift cards back...And so I wouldn't have enjoyed it much long term anyway.
We get a new mattress set, and put the $300 bucks toward that. There's a nice pillow-top Sealy set he thinks would work well.....
Oh well. I do still get to eat at Red Lobster and buy a few books from B & N. So all is not lost.

Gonna Shop Till I Drop

My husband has a credit card he's had since before we married. He's paid it off a couple of times since, and then put a few more things on it, etc. I've never paid much attention to that account, but we knew we had it in case we got out somewhere and had car trouble or something. He pays the bills, so I rarely look at the statements.

Well I was cleaning off the table after helping my son move today, and came across the credit card statement. It said he had earned 38,903 premium points and had never redeemed any. I asked him about them and he said he'd always seen that on there, but really had no idea what you get for them, or how to redeem.

I went online and found the website where they could be redeemed and he said I could spend them any way I wanted...So get this...I bought a $300 Target Gift Card, $50 Red Lobster Gift Card, and a $30 Barnes and Noble Gift Card!!! He loves Red Lobster so he was happy with that. I love books! And there is a new Target opening in our town in October so I can go shopping!!!! I told him this can be my anniversary present and he said great, because he didn't know what to get me. I am so excited. One minute I had $4 in my purse and $9 in MY personal bank account, and the next minute I've got shopping money!

Moving Day

Today my middle son moves into his new apartment five minutes from his new job. He's been working all day and packing until late at night all week, and said he'll still have to come back and pack more boxes later, but at least we can get the big items moved today while he has a u-haul trailer rented. (Yes, I know he bought a new pickup but putting something in it could possibly scratch it, ya'll.....That's what he said.) A friend's son is going to help for some extra cash and my husband will pitch in, so hopefully the three men can handle getting a sofa sleeper couch down the stairs of our townhouse. Thankfully his new apt is on the bottom floor.
We have been busy planning the baby shower for the end of April. We, being my friend Dawn and I. We have family and friends who enjoy eating so we decided to have "real food" instead of the nuts, mints route. So it looks like so far....sweet and sour meatballs, pigs in a blanket, rolled sandwich wheels, cheese ball and crackers, fruit tray with dip, veggie tray with dip, boiled shrimp, petit fours, cookies, and punch. I'm not sure how well all that goes together but hopefully they will all like it. I know have thirty onesies and four large sets of fabric markers to have the guests decorate a onesie for the baby.
I have been taking some clothes by a consignment shop here as I've been cleaning out the closets. I usually use up my credit buying cute little dresses for my grandchild to wear when she arrives near July 1. I took a dress by there a month or so ago, a white silk dress that was VERY expensive (very very) because it's too small for me now, it's not something I have any place to wear anymore. So I thought I'd sell it. I went by there and they have it marked for like nine dollars. I almost died. So I came home and kept thinking about it. I mean rationally I know I'll probably never wear that dress again, but it was the most expensive dress I'd ever owned and would make a perfect mother-of-the bride dress with the sheer overlay over the silk (more flattering for fuller figures you know. ha). Well to make a long story short, I went back and got the dress yesterday and brought it home and hung it back in the closet. I decided my peace of mind was worth more than nine dollars and it would have driven me nuts to sell it for that.
I'd never be a good professional organizer...They'd say I really want to keep this, and I'd say ok, no problem!

And On it Goes.....

I have been wheezing all night and coughing my head off. They cut our grass today, and I thought that was what was messing me up but my husband reminded me that our step-daughter spent today with her cat and probably has cat dander on her. So it could be that. Whatever it is, I wish it would get better. Cough cough, wheeze wheeze! This is miserable.

I got the first copy of Letters to My Mother, where one of my story appears. I ordered a gift wrapped copy of it for my mom for Mother's Day, which is about when it is due to be released. I think authors just got some advanced copies or something because Amazon is still saying pre-orders only. I've got several of "my books" on my book shelf now, but I still get excited every time I open one and see my name on the contents page. It makes me sound like a real writer, which even now I don't see myself as being. I guess I think a real writer would be writing books, and since all I do is short stories right now, I don't qualify. I got the final editing for the book coming out by Chicken Soup in August. That one is about my granny telling me about the change of life, and that is really one of my very favorite ones I've ever written. Sometimes I am amazed as to what sells, because some I didn't really think were all that great.

We've become American Idol junkies. I like several of the girl singers and not any of the guys. The girls are WAY out-singing them this season. We are sort of late getting started as viewers, as our first season was the last one with Taylor Hicks. But we are usually late catching on to most things. For example, my daughter just explained to me today what the letter saying I needed to renew my domain meant. It was for a page my son made me for my writing stuff. I thought we paid for that every month, but that was hosting, not domain. That stuff is like Greek to me.

Yes, we still watch Lost, but only because Sawyer is hot. I remember my ex MIL saying one time she thought some guy was hot. I remember rolling my eyes. She said, "Hey, I may be old but I still know a good looking man when I see one." Amen.

My son is busy packing boxes to move to his new apartment. He went by there yesterday and got the keys. He came home telling me how his one bedroom apartment has a side by side refrig with water and ice on the door. No apartment I ever lived in had anything that nice. And he even has a built in microwave.

Preparing One Nest and Emptying Another

My husband and I went with my daughter and son-in-law to see the pediatric surgeon that is on the team who will do the baby's corrective surgery. She talked to us a long time about the things that could happen, even the rare things that can occur, but said it's impossible to really predict how well a child will do until they are actually delivered and assessed. They have all the latest equipment available, including the ECMO machines (heart/lung bypass machine) if we need that. They seemed very knowledgeable, and had a one-to-one ratio of nurses to babies in the NICU. These nurses stand at the baby's bedside, not sit at the nurses station like you see in most hospitals. Each baby we saw had a nurse standing over it, constantly monitoring that child. Right now, they had two babies there with CDH, one who needed very little intervention when she was born three days ago, and who underwent the corrective surgery today. She's doing great and is at the best end of the spectrum. On the other end was a CDH baby who has been there since September, a little boy. This hospital says although it's normal for them to average about 15 CDH babies per year, for some reason they've had fifteen births with this since December! They think there is a link to some sort of toxin but the verdict is still out on that one. Makes me wonder if there isn't some problem in that area.
Anyway, all the people are very nice. They gave us much information, and gave my daughter several books and good website addresses for information. They offered her their phone numbers and email addresses to write anytime they have more questions. We toured the NICU and it wasn't as frightening as I expected. Several times I felt like crying when the doctor was talking to us, because I dread what my daughter will be facing if her baby is sick, but I know she's upset too. I guess we'll just cry on each other's shoulders when we need to and deal with what we need to do to get this baby here, well, and home.
My nest will soon be empty. A week from this Saturday, my son who graduated from college in December will be moving into his new apartment nearer to his new job. He's excited. My husband and I have been married four years this month, and have never really lived alone. I know the empty nest thing would be really hard if I didn't have him. But I miss them all every day. I watched my daughter today as a young woman talking to the doctor and thought it seemed like yesterday she was the premie in the hospital nursery. I can still remember the sounds, sights and smells like it was yesterday, and it's been twenty-nine years. Twenty-nine YEARS. I still can't believe that. Time goes by so fast.
My daughter's best friend is due in October, and she's asked me to babysit her baby during the day while she works. I'm really looking forward to it. It's been a long time since I've had a baby to hold and rock. It will fill in the times between when I can see Claire.
Our list for the baby shower is growing. I think it will be a lot of fun. I've gotten games and some of the decorations. I went by party city and got even more ideas of things I want to get. I need some ideas for party foods. C'mon, Amy, I know you're our chef--what do you suggest?
We have hearty eaters in this family, so I wanted more than just a veggie tray and chips and dip. I need some ideas.

Another Dumb Survey

No, that dog is not mine, but he looks just like one of mine. I thought this picture was precious.
I got this survey from a friend. So if you're reading it, you're tagged. So gimme your answers!

What is the biggest lie you ever told your boss? Probably that I was sick when I was just tired and sleepy or that I wasn’t gossiping about his freak wife.

What do you pretend to like but secretly hate? Watching 24, eating Mexican food

What is the one thing you wish you had said to someone in rebuttal but didn’t think of at the time? No, our marriage didn’t fail because I gave up too easily. It failed because you’re an ass.

If you were invisible and could spy on someone, who would it be? My therapist. She knows all about me, and I know nothing about her.

How many skeletons are in your closet that you would never tell anyone? My closet is stuffed, but I don’t feel as much need to keep secrets as I did when I was younger. I think it’s getting easier to admit I screw up.

What things turn you on? Hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and nuts. Yellow roses with pink tips. New furniture. Doing laundry.

What turns you off? Cleaning bathrooms, mopping floors, driving.

What would you like to change about your significant other? His talking to the tv all during the shows. Drives me nuts.

If you had a day to do whatever you liked, how would you spend it? Would you be alone or with someone else? In bed sleeping, reading, snacking. Alone.

What is your secret fear? My children dying before me.

When you are in your lowest level of self-esteem, what one thing do you say to put yourself down? You’re lazy.

What do you like most about being the age you are? My heart still beating.

What is one term you hate? Age-defying. The only thing that defies aging is dying.

What do you wish you did more of? Winning the lottery!

Amnio Results Are Back

My daughter called again today and they finally got the results back from her amniocentesis and everything is normal, so other than the CDH, the baby has no problems. We meet with the pediatric surgeon on Thursday and I'll let you know more then. We are so relieved!

Redneck Treehouse?

We went to the baby sale and really racked up. My hubbie and I bought a porta-crib/playpen thing to keep at our house for the baby. We also found an infant seat with the toys hanging down, some children's books, and some cute baby toys. My daughter found a new infant tub, some maternity clothes, and a nice baby swing. I found a high chair I really wanted but it had no price. It turned out someone had spotted it before me and removed the tag so she could come back and get it later. Oh well. Better luck next time.
We had lunch at Steak and Shake, then went to a huge indoor flea market near here. I think there were four warehouse type buildings stuffed with vendors and all we saw was JUNK JUNK JUNK. I can't imagine why anyone would actually buy any of that stuff.
I saw a Gilmore girls show this week and they had a baby shower. They bought a white onesie to decorate with fabric paint for each guest at the shower. Then they gave them to the mom-to-be. I thought that was a really cute idea, so now I'm looking for a place to buy a large number of onesies. So far it looks like Walmart has the best prices.
My family doctor still thinks there's a good chance I have something called hemochromatosis. My sister has it and two of her children. Since menopause, I've had a lot of the symptoms. I see a hemotologist this month to find out. It won't kill me but it sure needs to be treated before it gets any worse, if that's what it is. The way it is treated is by giving blood OFTEN, and that depletes the iron in the blood, which my body stores too much of, at least it does if I have this disease. I'm still hoping they are wrong. Not that I mind giving blood, but it sure does sound like a hassle to have to go that often.
My son, the DJ, called me the other night and said Hey, You're on the radio! Then he proceeded to ask me about whether I loved him or his sister best. The clip is on his website, and click on the podcast that says call to my mom or something like that. I told him he would definitely not be in the top of three if he kept making me do stuff on the radio. I sound like such a redneck.

If Women Ruled the World....

Still no results on my daughter's amnio. Now they are saying three to four weeks and it will be three next week. Several people have written asking why I hadn't said anything about it in my blog. I'll be sure to post something as soon as we know.
My daughter is coming today and we're going shopping for baby things at a huge baby yard sale they have here in our town twice a year. All the new moms bring things to sell and there is a lot of buying, selling, and trading going on. Most sell the clothes their babies have outgrown and buy sizes that will fit now or in the future. They also have great deals on furniture from what I'm told. We'll see.
Well I'll post more later today.

Calling All Decorators or WannaBees

This is my living room. It's long, it's narrow. It has a corner fireplace. On the north wall is a doorway to the kitchen. On the west wall is a doorway to the hall and an entertainment center with our TV, which can't be moved (cable hookups there). On the south wall is the front door and a picture window. We mostly use the room for TV or reading.

Is there any way to arrange furniture in this room?? I'd love your suggestions. I have a love seat, two recliners, two smaller chairs, a rectangular coffee table, two rectangular end tables and a bookcase that could be used as a sofa table. I could use some/all/none of that furniture in there. I also have large area rugs that could be used.

So do any of you have any ideas for me?

What PMS stands for....Or I'm Glad to be in Menopause

I remember well the days of PMS.
What PMS stands for:

13 Things PMS Stands For:


1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Tossing This and This and This and That

It's been a lazy weekend. We only left the house to buy groceries and go to a movie. We saw The Abandoned, and it was really scary/freaky. We wanted to see Astronaut Farmer but there was not a matinee of it, and my son said he read that it sucked. ha.

We were suppose to have some bad storms through here last night, but other than part of the subdivision fence blowing down, I didn't see any damage. My son backed my husband's car out of the garage and put that new truck in there, just in case of hail, and also so it wouldn't get wet after he had just washed it. :-)

I'm into this simplifying my life kick right now. Well, I have been for awhile. My mom and grandmother never had comforters, dust ruffles and pillow shams. They always bought bedspreads that hung to the floor. I was thinking about it the other day, and after taking time every night to take all the pillows off and put them somewhere the dogs won't get on them, and putting all the pillows back on the next morning, and changing sheets without the dust ruffles getting tucked in, too....I decided my mom may have been on to something. I ordered me two bedspreads from Amazon, and I'm going to donate my comforters and shams to my friend, Dawn.

I also took the "commode cover" and rug around it off, washed them, and put them in her pile too, since I saw on a tv decorating show how outdated that was.....Showing my age here.
I've also been clearing my trinkets, figurines, etc, off the tables. My daughter's friend, Melissa has a very nice non-cluttered home, and my daughter took pictures of her entertainment center the other day when she was visiting. Melissa has like one large thing on each shelf, not all the little junk like mine. Her's looked a lot easier to clean, too. So I'm tossing some of that stuff.
Sooner or later I figure I'll get this place down to being able to clean it a lot easier. At least that's what I'm working on. Yes, I realize that thinking about my housework so much means I probably need a get a life, but right now this is it. :-)

My daughter is suppose to call about the amnio tomorrow. I'll let you all know what we find out, although I just feel like if there was something else wrong, they would have noticed it on the ultrasound. Other people who have babies with this say they saw heart defects or brain defects and then found it on the amnio to be a chromosome problem. Our baby had nothing else that they saw but the hernia.

Just More Stuff

I've worked so hard the last few weeks on the house that this week I've taken a break and have just been reading and catching up with friends on the phone. My daughter and her baby are on my mind a lot and I am praying for a miracle in that situation. Together with two friends of mine, we are planning her a baby shower in April. I rented the clubhouse in our subdivision because it will have more room than this townhouse. We still haven't heard on the results from her amniocentesis but I think it will be fine.

Someone did something really nice for us this week, and I wanted to share. I bought her two outfits for the baby from a seller on Ebay that was selling some new things. I still hadn't gotten an invoice from her last week when I had to go out of town for my daughter's ultrasound, so I wrote a short note explaining the situation and told her I would pay her as soon as I returned, which I did.

She wrote me back and said that she was going to get together a "few more things for the baby" and how she was praying and believing God would take care of this baby. Yesterday I got this huge box filled with baby clothes and also a Precious Moments doll for baby Claire. She doesn't even know us but she reached out and was so kind and generous. She said she knew God did miracles because he had done one when she had her baby.

I watched Gray's Anatomy tonight and won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet but it was sure a tear jerker. I think I went through half a box of Kleenex, over a tv show! That is one of my favorite shows. I'm still hanging in there with Lost, even though I threaten to stop watching it weekly.

My daughter has reunited with her dad, and although that was a big deal for me and I resented him so much two weeks ago when all this came down, now it doesn't seem like anything. I just want my grandbaby to be ok. I guess other things become really insignificant when you face something big.

Stinking Thinking

I'm still seeing the counselor every week. Yesterday I had a break-through, epiphany, whatever you want to call it. I figured out that, for as long as I can remember, when I find myself in any situation, my thought process is to immediately find out what the "rules" are, and then to follow them so I will feel good about myself or else be thought well of by others. In school, it was easy to know the rules, which assignments were to be completed, and I knew if I did them and put forth my best effort, the teacher would be proud of me. I needed that attention, so I tried to be perfect.
Then in relationships, I immediately tried to figure out what the other person expected, what they thought of as the "have-to-have's" from their partner, and I tried to be that.

When I stopped working, I evaluated my situation and decided that now I'm a homemaker, and a good homemaker has to X, Y, Z, etc. Then if I didn't get those things accomplished, I felt bad, unworthy, useless. When I began journaling, I was afraid to write anything in that pretty new book because what if I messed it up and "didn't do it right." What was the correct way to journal?

I avoid social situations because I don't know what the rules are to interact with people I don't know. How can I do that if I don't know what they expect? If I don't say the things that would make them think I'm a good conversationalist, what will they think of me?

So I've always known I needed structure to feel safe and secure. When things are unorganized or I don't know what is expected, I want to retreat from that. Now I know it's because I have lived my life with 1) figure out the rules. 2) follow them ALL and 3) feel good about me or 4) don't do them all or don't do them right and feel rotten.

I used to work for one hospice where I started with a defined job description. I knew exactly what things I was responsible for, I made a plan to do them all correctly, and I did that for years. Then I changed jobs and was working for a newly acquired company where everyone was confused on what the new job roles were, so no one knew how to advise me, and I was to "wing it" and just "do what you can" until further instructions came, which took several weeks. I hated working there, because how could I feel good about myself if I never knew what the rules were and whether or not I met them?

I know I'm going on and on about this, but this was like this HUGE lightbulb DUH! moment for me when I finally GOT this.

I remember once the therapist asked me why I felt I had to always be DOING something to be ok. Why wasn't I still ok even if I spent a whole day goofing off at home, playing at doing crafts, or something and didn't DO anything "valuable." I had no idea what the heck she meant? If I don't accomplish anything useful to others, then I'm not a good wife or mother or whatever. Geez, why didn't she get that? ha.

So...now that I know I do this, I'm going to have to become more aware of that when I do it. She thinks I will come to accept myself and feel ok just being me, without having to DO anything specific to earn being an acceptable person. I have put this kind of pressure on myself always.

This is a form of legalism, and probably why I was always attracted most to churches that had rigid rules. Then I knew what I had to do to be a "good" Christian that God could be proud of. Eventually I'd figure out I never was able to keep all the rules, (because I kept finding out about new ones these people listed as "a good Christian does this, too") or I failed at the ones I tried. So I'd leave that church and start over somewhere that I might be able to do it right. (After all, God can't love me if I don't do it right.)

I asked her how I change this, and she said it's a process. I wanted to know what the steps of the process were, and she refused to give me a list to follow so I'd know if I was making sufficient progress at the right times to do this. Sigh.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

My daughter and son-in-law came last night to spend the night. I had made a pot roast with potatoes and carrots and we had dinner in front of the tv. (We're casual folks!) Then today we went shopping at BabysRUs and Target. They have a gift registry at both places and I thought it was neat how they gave them a scanner and when they found something they wanted to add- they just pointed the scanner and zap! It's on their registry!

Things have changed so much since I had my babies. When I used to shop before the babies came, I never had any idea what I was going to have..so most stores stocked a lot of mint green, yellow, and white. Well most mommies these days know way ahead of time and the store is mostly divided into boy clothes and girl clothes. I immediately went for the pink, pink, and more pink...After all, baby Claire is a girl!

My daughter finally said, "Enough pink! Buy some other colors!" So I reluctantly obliged and bought white with pink flowers...ha. Isn't that a good compromise! I bought several packs of baby clothes hangers, two sleepers, and some diapers. My husband got in on the fun and bought all of our baby-proofing equipment like safety plugs for the outlets and cabinet locks. He can't wait to be a grandpa.


I'm planning a baby shower for them in April, and my friend, Dawn, is going to be the co-hostess. I found the cutest three tiered cakes made out of diapers and baby things like rattles and pacifiers. How cute an idea is that!

I think the shopping cheered us all up. We go to see the pediatric surgeon on March 8th, and until then, we are just waiting and searching the internet for all we can find about Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. I read until I can't stand it anymore, as one article will be bleak, the next reassuring, and I have no idea how old the information I'm reading is.

I went and got my hair cut short, and I'm going to let it go silver, since it's determined to do that anyway. Then it will be much easier and faster to deal with. I plan to be with my daughter and her baby as much as possible during the baby's hospitalization and surgery. We've read that baby girls tend to do better than baby boys. One woman described it as the boys being lazy and the girls are such fighters. That sounds about right considering my three kids.

The picture above is of a sweater I ordered the baby on Ebay, and also some newborn hospital caps I had personalized with "Claire" on them. I also bought a cap from Jessica and she is going to make it for the baby.

We tend to walk through life taking so much for granted. Women figure they will quickly get pregnant, but many have infertility problems. For the ones who do get pregnant, they figure all will be well. Most of the time it is. But when it's not, and the baby has problems, it sure seems to hit you hard.

I know in my own case, it's brought me a lot closer to my faith. Faith in God, faith in my family, faith in doctors and hospital and new technology. About all you can do in a situation like this is to pray, hope, and keep the faith. And in between all that, do a lot of shopping for little pink clothes......

Happy Valentine's Day

My husband woke me up with a velvet heart-shaped box of chocolates this morning. I told him he couldn't have his valentine surprise until tonight. He wanted to know why not and I told him, "Because."

I decided instead of some hokey present, I'd do something for him he really likes (no, not that, get your mind out of the gutter. ha.) I am making his favorite dinner...boiled shrimp with cocktail sauce, baked potatoes, salad, and Red Velvet Cake for dessert. He has no idea. We've been following the e-mealz plan for our meals and grocery shopping, and by looking at today's menu on it, he thinks we are having some kind of chicken, so he'll be surprised.

My daughter is worried about her baby. I'm worried about my daughter (and son-in-law). I still feel peace that the baby will ultimately be fine. I am angry that my daughter can't just waddle through a normal pregnancy and gripe about her back hurting and having to pee all the time, and just enjoy all of it. This is like a cloud that moved over, and we're looking for the sunshine through it. That baby will be our sunshine, and I may just nickname her that when I get to hold her.
When my daughter was little, I used to sing her "Sunshine on my Shoulders" by John Denver. There is a part of that song that goes like this:

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I'd tell a tale sure to make you smile
If I had a wish that I could wish for you
I'd make a wish for sunshine all the while

I know that trusting God is all we can do right now, that he'll take care of the baby and give strength, hope and sunshine to my daughter and her husband when she needs it. I also need him to do a little favor for me. I need him to put a rush on the results of my allergy shots I'm taking to get over being allergic to their cat, so I can go down to be with her for all her appointments and then after the baby comes. I take the shots weekly and it's usually a very slow process. I want to be there to support them both.

It's true that when something like this happens to you, it makes your priorities line up very quickly, and the little things that seemed so important just don't seem to matter at all anymore. I am looking forward to having that cute baby home next Valentine's Day and I'll sing her Sunshine on My Shoulders just like I did with my baby girl.